avatarDestiny S. Harris

Summary

The provided content is a reflective piece by Destiny Harris, who shares 70 life lessons learned before the age of 30, emphasizing the importance of self-improvement, personal growth, and financial wisdom.

Abstract

Destiny Harris, in her article "70 Life Lessons I’ve Acquired Before Hitting 30," distills her experiences into key insights for readers on the cusp of their third decade. She advocates for early investment and financial responsibility, the value of holistic health, and the significance of self-worth and independence. Harris emphasizes the importance of continuous learning, personal development, and the power of relationships in shaping one's life. She also touches on the inevitability of change and loss, advocating for resilience and adaptability. Her lessons range from the practical, such as the necessity of understanding personal finance, to the philosophical, including the acceptance of one's limitations and the embrace of personal growth.

Opinions

  • Personal finance management is crucial, advocating for early investment, responsible credit card use, and the importance of not delaying financial education.
  • Relationships, both romantic and platonic, should be healthy and reciprocal, with an emphasis on personal evolution alongside one's partner.
  • Self-care is multifaceted, encompassing emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, sexual, professional, and financial well-being.
  • Independence, particularly financial independence, is a key component of personal empowerment.
  • Learning from others' experiences is invaluable, and one should not be afraid to think differently or challenge societal norms.
  • Career and personal goals should be written down, reviewed regularly, and pursued with consistency and adaptability.
  • Material possessions should not define one's success or self-worth; instead, focus on what truly matters to the individual.
  • Racism and ignorance are called out as societal issues that require awareness and education to overcome.
  • The concept of family can extend beyond blood relations to include those who support and uplift us.
  • Addiction and its potential to destroy lives is acknowledged, with a call to seek help when needed.
  • The article encourages sharing knowledge and continuous learning as means to better oneself and society.
  • The author stresses the importance of self-love and self-awareness, suggesting that one's relationships and overall life satisfaction are a reflection of their relationship with themselves.
  • The ego should be kept in check, as it can hinder personal growth and relationships.
  • The author reflects on the nature of long-term relationships, acknowledging that conflict is normal but should not overshadow the overall health of the relationship.
  • The value of reading and deep learning is highlighted as a lifelong pursuit that enhances personal development.

Self-Improvement

70 Life Lessons I’ve Acquired Before Hitting 30

My favorite way to learn in life is from observing others

Photo Credit: Pexels, Lucas Pezeta

I’m still in my 20s, but 30 is very close. Though I haven’t been on this earth very long, I see decade number 3 inching closer. Over the years, I’ve learned many lessons and acquired a modest amount of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding along my life journey from personal experiences, but mostly from observing the failures and successes of others.

My 70 Life Lessons

Lesson 1

Invest as early as possible, and never stop.

Lesson 2

If you can’t handle a credit card responsibly, wait until you’re ready to own one; doing this will save you plenty of financial trouble.

Lesson 3

Paying off debt is great, but make sure you invest while paying off your debt. You can’t get time back.

Lesson 4

Consensual sex is a shared experience. It’s not something one person takes from one another.

Lesson 5

Leave dead-end relationships. Don’t wait around. It’s not productive for anyone.

Lesson 6

College is great, but it’s not necessary. It doesn’t make you more valuable than someone else. It doesn’t make you a better person. It doesn’t necessarily make you a more intelligent person. It doesn’t always make you more money than the non-college graduate.

Lesson 7

Everyone doesn’t need to accept you. Be extra comfortable with rejection.

Lesson 8

As soon as someone gossips to you about someone else, know they are probably doing the same or will do the same and gossip about you, too. Be careful not to divulge your secrets to gossipers.

Lesson 9

Always be your number one priority because that is who you have to live with daily.

Lesson 10

Holistic health includes emotional well-being, mental well-being, physical well-being, spiritual well-being, sexual well-being, professional well-being, and financial well-being. If you neglect one, it will affect the others.

Lesson 11

Don’t wait to travel the world. Do it as soon as you can. The sooner, the better.

Lesson 12

You get paid according to your self-worth. How much do you currently value yourself (not literally, professionally)?

Lesson 13

You don’t have to say “yes” to every opportunity, every event, every person, and everything else. Boundaries are challenging to implement later in life, but the sooner you implement them, the more profound and easy your life experience will be.

Lesson 14

If you don’t love your life, change it.

Lesson 15

It’s okay to think differently than everyone else. Be an outlier. Be the robot that has a glitch.

Most people follow the follower. However, if you want to be successful, you will increase your chances by doing what most people don’t do.

Lesson 16

Being healthy is a life-long journey. It takes consistent effort, and it’s not always easy.

Lesson 17

Avoid addictions to things, people, circumstances, and substances.

Lesson 18

Your confidence should be independent of your outer appearance, external influences, and other people.

Lesson 19

Learn and implement the art of letting go of your daily life.

Lesson 20

If you don’t understand investing or personal finance, educate yourself now so you won’t regret it later.

Lesson 21

Enjoy time with yourself. If you have a great relationship with yourself, you’ll experience great relationships with others.

Lesson 22

Give more than you receive from others.

Lesson 23

Be independent financially, mentally, and emotionally. There is nothing sweeter than the taste of independence.

Lesson 24

You don’t have to live in the same country, state, city, or home for the rest of your life.

Lesson 25

The new cars, the big houses, the name-brand clothes, and everything else that comes with money is nice but unnecessary, especially if you can’t afford it. Don’t be a fraud. At the end of the day, it’s just you. You don’t need to waste time and energy trying to impress people or live a life you’ve been taught to buy into. Think about what you really want, not what everyone else wants.

Lesson 26

Stretch, walk, eat raw veggies, and drink plenty of water daily.

Lesson 27

Write your goals down, review your goals daily, and consistently work on your goals.

Lesson 28

The best thing to do with a goal is to start and never stop. Modify your goals as needed, but keep going, and the magic will find you.

Lesson 29

Be with someone you can fart in front of and laugh with about stupid sh*t.

Lesson 30

Actively get to know yourself, and never stop discovering who you are.

Lesson 31

Read and consistently learn new things.

Lesson 32

Just because you are the same color as someone does not mean you can automatically identify or relate to their experiences.

Lesson 33

Racism exists because of ignorance.

When you witness racism, racial hostility, or hate crimes, remember this verse “[…] forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

Though it may seem people are conscious of their actions, they are usually unenlightened; they are encapsulated in a fog of ignorance.

Lesson 34

Your likes will change, and sometimes there is nothing you can do about that except embrace acceptance.

Lesson 35

Find someone you can simultaneously evolve with. Because if only one person evolves in a relationship, it’s most likely not going to last. And if it does last, it will potentially be filled with unhappiness, discontentment, and unfulfillment.

Lesson 36

It feels so much better when you can say, “Yes, I can afford to buy the car I desire with CASH, but I choose not to.” than buying a car you can’t afford. Be in control of your money and the materials you buy. And be mindful about large purchases on quickly-depreciating assets.

Lesson 37

Never have all of your money in one bank.

Lesson 38

If you didn’t learn about money growing up, this does not grant you an excuse to fail at personal finance in the present day. So take action and learn for yourself how to successfully manage your money and budget.

Lesson 39

You don’t have to get married, and if you do want to get married, it doesn’t have to be at a certain age.

Lesson 40

You don’t have to have or want kids. Parenting is not something everyone needs to sign up for.

Lesson 41

Most people aren’t ready to have kids because they have yet to deal with their own issues. Whatever issues you don’t deal with, your children will deal with. Many people take the responsibility of having kids lightly. It’s respectable for a person to say, “I’m not ready to have children because I’m still working on some internal issues.” than for someone to have children just because they want them or are running out of time on their “biological clock.”

Lesson 42

Learn from others who are more successful, intelligent, and distinguished than you. Don’t seek to learn all of your knowledge from your peers.

Lesson 43

There are two kinds of people in life: doers and talkers.

Lesson 44

All it takes to get started on a positive change is to start.

Lesson 45

Celebrities are regular people. Don’t be shocked or judgmental when they demonstrate human behavior.

Lesson 46

Your social media following should never equate to your self-worth.

Lesson 47

If you don’t want to attend a work event outside of working hours, don’t go. And never apologize, feel bad, or care what your colleagues may or may not think about you. Who gives a f*ck.

Lesson 48

If you continue to neglect someone or something pretty soon, it will matter.

Lesson 49

The less you desire, the more powerful you are.

Lesson 50

Relationships can make or break you. Choose your relationships wisely.

Lesson 51

Habits can make or break you. Choose your habits wisely.

Lesson 52

Listen to people’s actions, not their words.

Lesson 53

You attract other people like you. So if you want to attract healthier and more successful people into your life, it all starts with you.

Lesson 54

Codependence is destructive, limiting, and a time-waster.

Lesson 55

Journal, do therapy, or have someone or something that can be your objective sounding board for the different seasons of your life.

Lesson 56

Your thoughts can free and elevate you or enslave and limit you. Choose your thoughts wisely.

Lesson 57

Discipline is painful at first, but the more you implement it, the less resistance you will have towards living a more disciplined lifestyle.

You either deal with the pain of discipline upfront or the pain of regret from not being disciplined. Either way, you’re going to experience pain.

Lesson 58

Are you worried about your karma? Put more good and positive energy into the world.

Lesson 59

If you’re intimidated by a subject, start by educating yourself on it. The more you educate yourself on the subject, the less intimidated you will be by the subject. You might even fall in love with the topic. It happened to me more than twice.

Lesson 60

Death and loss are inevitable. I experienced four losses in less than four months. Have positive anchors and outlets in place to help you get through the darkness. It’s not going to always be easy, but whatever you do, don’t permanently lose yourself, your life, your passions, your sanity, your health, and your relationships in the process of healing. Whether you accept it or not, life continues as if nothing happened. Eventually, you must do the same, or life will be more challenging than it needs to be.

Lesson 61

Sometimes you need to step away from a relationship to realize how healthy or unhealthy it is for your life.

Lesson 62

There will be people you love dearly, but you cannot save them from themselves no matter what you do. Love them and let them go, or you might go down with them.

Lesson 63

Don’t leave the steak you have at home for a piece of fried chicken. Always weigh the pros and cons of jeopardizing a healthy and invaluable relationship.

Lesson 64

Whatever your demons are, consistently work on them. Don’t take a break from self-development. If you have a weakness, don’t assume you’ve mastered it. Continuously master it. If you stop working out, your muscles get weak. The same applies to all other areas of your life.

Lesson 65

If you have an addiction, think you have an addiction, or multiple people tell you that you have an addiction, get help before it’s too late and your addiction destroys everything in your life.

Lesson 66

Share your knowledge with others. Don’t hoard knowledge. The only way to better society as a collective whole is to share your learnings.

Lesson 67

Family is not always blood. Sometimes your family becomes people you meet along your life journey.

Lesson 68

If you pre-order video games, technology (i.e., iPhone), clothes, shoes, and cars, then you can pre-order your financial freedom by investing.

Lesson 69

If you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to love others. Furthermore, however much you love yourself will show up in the types of people you surround yourself with. Are your relationships healthy or unhealthy? Your relationships are a reflection of you.

Lesson 70

If you don’t know something, it’s 100% okay to say you don’t know. It’s actually empowering because now you have the opportunity to learn something. The ego is the enemy and a hindrance to almost every area of your life. Don’t allow your ego to get out of control; for if you do, it will be your demise in some form.

Lesson 71

Children know a lot more about parenting than people give them credit for. You don’t need to be a parent to have some understanding of what works and what doesn’t work.

Lesson 72

Long-term relationships aren’t always peachy and creamy. If the relationship is primarily good, get over it; reasonable amounts of conflict are normal.

Lesson 73

Never stop reading. Continue to prioritize deep learning. Get comfortable re-reading and staying on a topic until it resonates with you.

Hey, I’m Destiny. Join my newsletter, and get free books from me daily. Read more self-improvement articles: here. If you’re not a medium member, sign up.

Self Improvement
Mental Health
Relationships
Life Lessons
Advice
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