7 Tips To Reinvent Yourself When Life Feels Pointless

Flexing our renewal muscle is a process

A friend reached out to me yesterday: her therapist told her that she was going through a severe existential crisis.

“I do not understand.” She said. “I thought I went through that when we were younger.”

“Maybe you are having a new life crisis due to new life circumstances,” I replied.

We are always assuming that if we found meaning in life once, then we are set for the rest of our lives. But life is a constant evolution, the key is to be aware and be willing to pivot consistently.

Here are my. 6 tips to smoothen the process:

1. Understand the evolutionary need for human reinvention

By revitalising yourself, you get a new lease on life. We have been in a state of perpetual change since birth: we learnt how to walk, then we went through puberty then adulthood.

Somehow, just because we stop growing physically does not mean that we have to suddenly put a stop to our mental, spiritual and emotional growth.

Humans were made to evolve, whether it is through our life journeys or through the passing of our genes.

2. Embrace the pointlessness of life

I go through regular phases of pointlessness and I used to feel bad about it. Why cannot I be like others who cruise through life without so many questions?

Then I realised questions make us stop and ponder. And that life only has a meaning that we assign to it.

We can be the designer of our lives should we just choose to take responsibility for the way we respond to the world.

Maybe life is not a futile endeavour in itself, but each milestone achieved will bring a feeling of emptiness.

The challenges have been dealt with and the results have come in. Cherish it and savour it. Until it is time to move to a new game of life.

3. Be the guinea pig of your own life experiments

Reinvention does not need to be this cataclysmic event where we turn everything in our lives upside down: family, career or hobbies. Sometimes, it could just be a small change that provides a huge spark in our lives.

For example, it could be taking dance classes when you have never danced in your entire life. It could be trying out a new workout routine that goes against every grain of your body.

As someone who suffered from asthma, I do not have the endurance for running.

Weight lifting and strength training is my comfort zone. Yet sometimes, I try running. Just to experiment (carefully) with my own body.

4. Destroy limiting beliefs about ageing

Reinvention can happen at any age. Yet, we grew up with certain conditioning about how life is supposed to unfold.

The beliefs we internalised when we were younger just do not apply to the current world we live in. The world is going faster with more technological innovations than ever before.

If we stay stuck in our belief system that life is meant to be this linear journey of study-job-retirement- die, we are going to suffer tremendously.

At this rate, it is possible that we will be working well into our 70’s and 8o’/ Our current career might not even exist then, so it is important to start honing our reinvention and re-adaptation skills.

5. Enlarge your social circle

We are the sum of the five people we spend time with (I learnt that from Instagram). If those five people are not on a mission of learning and growth, then we are going to behave accordingly.

When you are in a process of trying something new, it becomes important to seek out new friendships or relationships. Solicit people who think differently or do things that you want to do.

If you are thinking of changing careers, ask someone who has done it before. Take them out to coffee, extend a friendly hand. Pick their brains, ask for advice and be inspired.

Reinvention does not need to be lonely.

6. Be comfortable being alone

Being alone is different from feeling lonely. When we start to embark upon the road less travelled, we lose people along the way.

It is not because we fall out with them. It is simply because we have less in common and we have less relatability to certain people.

And we have to be ready for that. Sometimes, we get too scared to even venture out on a different path as we are the only ones in our immediate circle doing it.

It can be indeed terrifying. But trust that you will find new companions with similar mindsets on your journey.

But even if you don’t, be so comfortable in your experimentation that you feel good in your own skin.

7. Trust the journey of the hero

Based on the philosophy of Friedrich Hegel, there is a fundamental engine that has driven humanity from the tribal age to the modern democratic society: the need for individual recognition.

The need to understand who we are and put forward probing questions about life is stronger than us. This desire for finding answers to existential questions could in fact change the course of humanity.

Maybe you are not creating the next rocketship to Jupiter but your first step in the direction of change has forever altered the trajectory of the universe.

The hero’s journey does not apply only to mythical characters or protagonists in movies. It is part of who we are, as mere mortals: how we craft our own adventures and make sense of who we are.

Making a big change is daunting. It can also feel like the journey of the fraud. Ye do not need to change our base identity but if there are moments where you feel empty and stuck, it is time for redirection.

And it also does not need to be a life-altering change: it could be a small step but on a totally different trajectory.

Rome was not built in a day: do what you can but please keep moving.