7 Things You Might Be Addicted to That Aren’t Drugs

And they repel everyone around you like stink lines in a cartoon

Say the word “addiction,” and most people’s minds go immediately to drugs. Whether it’s something benign like caffeine or something incredibly dangerous like heroin, it’s usually a substance, or possibly an activity such as gambling that we think of. But there’s another addiction that, now more than ever, people don’t even realise they have.

I’m talking about behaviours.

There are a bunch of addictive behaviours and mindsets that can not only hold you back, but turn your life into a train wreck of failed relationships, missed opportunities, neuroticism and anger at everything around you. If any of these ring true, it might pay to start weaning yourself off.

1. Your need for validation

Instagram is pretty bad, but nowhere is people’s addiction to attention and validation more apparent than that platform of mental illness and narcissism we call TikTok. Full of the most cringeworthy content, it’s all in the name of trying to become “TikTok famous” and gaining views.

The constant need for people’s attention and validation keeps you from living a great life because all you’re trying to do is impress other people. TikTok is the worst example of this, but we see it everywhere in life, where people squash what they want and instead try to please those around them:

• Bosses
• Coworkers
• Spouses
• Family
• Friends

An addiction to validation makes you needy in the most cringeworthy of ways but most importantly, it stops you from making the decisions about your life that you need to, because all you can worry about is how much you’re liked.

2. Having an opinion on everything

There is nothing more eye roll inducing to me lately than someone who shows up in the comments section of this or any other platform with their self-righteous “well, actually” comment where they try and lay out why the author is completely wrong. Bonus points if they (and they usually do) cite their own cherry picked research as gospel or even worse, tell the author to “educate yourself.”

Here’s a hot tip for you: no one gives a shit about your opinion. You’re not going to change anyone’s mind and you’re usually way less right than you think you are. All you’re doing with each comment is turning yourself into more of a condescending asshole who thinks they know everything.

Here’s another hot tip: people hate that.

It seems there are plenty who have never heard the most important phrase:

Opinions are like assholes — everyone’s got one, and they usually stink.

There’s one thing you don’t see happy, well adjusted and successful people do across social media, and that’s negatively commenting or trying to “educate” people. They don’t have the time and have better things to be doing with their life. So maybe it’s time to realise that your opinion doesn’t hold anywhere near as much weight as you think it does, and stop spraying it at everyone.

3. Outrage

“Outrage is like a lot of other things that feel good but over time devour us from the inside out. And it’s even more insidious than most vices because we don’t even consciously acknowledge that it’s a pleasure.” — Tim Kreider

I’ve already written about this here:

But it certainly bears repeating. No, I’m not saying you should never get outraged, I’m talking about being one of those people who is perpetually offended, angered and outraged over things that any reasonable person would simply shrug their shoulders at.

Addiction to outrage is one of the hardest to break for most people, because it feels so good. So righteous. Everyone else who doesn’t get as angry as you is just a piece of shit who doesn’t care enough. You’re clearly the most moral person out there because you care so much.

Here’s a newsflash: anger doesn’t make you right, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean you have a monopoly on the truth of any given situation. What it does is turn you into an utterly insufferable person, because all you ever want to do is talk about your latest outrage.

Your life is going to be a hell of a lot happier if you stop look for things to be angry about.

4. Your need to hate people who disagree

It’s such a juvenile, but widespread trait. Assuming that someone who holds a differing point of view on a topic you care about must be an evil person. This is how people get caught up in echo chambers and turn into outrage addicts, because they get addicted to seeing the world in black and white. After all, if I feel really strongly about a topic and you disagree, well one of us has to be right and the other is wrong.

And it can’t be me that’s wrong, because I’m a good person.

No, you’re an intellectual midget and a jackass. I have friends from all walks of life, and we disagree on a variety of things. It’s not because anyone is evil, it’s because we’ve grown up in very different circumstances, so we come to an opinion on any topic from different places. Their view is just as valid as mine, but the important thing is that being human, we can come together on far more subjects than those where we can’t.

5. Your need for convenience

Isn’t convenience great? You have an app to get just about anything you could want delivered to your door without you having to do more than lift a finger. This will give you more time to work out, spend time with family, work on that side business you’ve got going on and do the really important things in life.

Oh, you use that convenience just so you can watch more Netflix or just consume in general, huh?

How disappointing.

Ever notice how convenience seems to beget more convenience, to the point where you’re just a sloth sitting on a couch in your own filth, wondering why life is so “hard” and why you aren’t happier? You laze about in loungewear, never dressing up anymore because you can’t be bothered, which pretty much sums up your entire life right now: minimal effort.

Maybe it’s time to get your lazy ass off the couch and to stop acting like every task is an imposition on your (clearly unprecious) time. Or, you can remain a slave to Amazon, Netflix, Ubereats and co, all the while wondering where your life went wrong.

6. The feeling that it should be easier

If it’s hard, then do it hard! Les Brown

I know a few people who feel like every aspect of their life should be easier pretty much all the time. They’re addicted to the feeling that:

• They should have a better body
• Their career should be moving faster
• They should be more happy

and that the minimal effort they’re putting should be enough to have what they want.

They’ll say things like “I wish I was as motivated as you” or “I wish I had your metabolism.”

My response? You can have my metabolism if you want, you just have to workout 5 days a week and get 10,000 steps in a day. One of two things happens here: either their eyebrows shoot up in genuine shock, or their whole demeanour sags because they’ve been called out.

You just wanted what I have without putting in any work for it.

The thing is, I think we all have at least a little bit of this in us. Basically any time I’ve wondered why someone got something so much easier than me, I eventually found out that they wanted it so much more, which meant significantly more time invested in a shorter period.

Now, I don’t wonder anymore. I assume that they’ve done more than me and resolve to either do the same, or determine that I’m not willing to invest that kind of time.

Wanting everything to be easy is a weakness that has been brought about by the abundance of our time. Don’t fall prey to it. The best things in life require work and sacrifice, and there are no shortcuts.

7. Nitpicking and being “right”

The Internet is full of nitpickers. — Naval Ravikant

Related to and possibly an extension of number 2 on this list. There’s no better example here than when you view some of Jordan Peterson’s content. Like him or hate him, he’s an acknowledged expert in the field of psychology and incredibly gifted at being accessible. Millions have benefited from his work. And yet, in every piece you’ll see, you’ll get some cynic in the comments:

“He’s not even that insightful, all of this stuff is pretty basic.”

“He’s the stupid person’s smart guy.”

So I guess that means you have all your shit together and live an absolutely spectacular life then hey champ? Oh…you spend a huge amount of your time leaving negative comments across the Internet, while you consume copious amounts of content. Yeah, not so much then huh?

I’ve even seen people from other fields come in and nitpick the tiniest details when Peterson is talking in broad terms. They refuse to see the forest of truth because they’re hung up on one branch from one damn tree. But that one detail gives them the chance to be right, and to show that they are actually the expert here, not the person who is putting themselves out there.

Here’s an important thing to consider: one small detail out of place doesn’t invalidate an entire idea or concept. Most well-adjusted people understand that, but your need for validation and being right means that you’ll do the equivalent of standing up in a lecture and saying “well actually, you’re wrong” because it makes you feel big.

No one thinks you’re smart, we just think you’re a self-important asshole. And the fact that you’re spending all your time on the Internet nitpicking this stuff shows that you should probably stop and find a better way to spend your time.

Final point

If any of this rings even slightly true for you, if you feel even the tiniest bit ashamed, then it’s probably time to take a good, long look in the mirror and make some changes. Likewise if you find yourself flying off the handle in anger at me for what I’ve written above, there’s a good chance that your anger is misplaced and you should really be looking at yourself.

Trust me, if you remove any one of these behaviours from your life, you’re going to be a whole lot happier and live a much more purposeful existence. Why not give it a try?