Summary

The article is a personal essay detailing the author's experiences with sexual encounters, political beliefs, and fetishes, while also acknowledging a tendency to fabricate stories for online content.

Abstract

The author of the article, who remains anonymous, shares seven personal revelations that range from sexual encounters with individuals of opposing political views to admissions of specific fetishes, such as a foot and tattoo fetish. The narrative includes a detailed account of a sexual experience with a Republican, followed by a similar account with a Democrat, both occurring in Houston during business trips. The author also discloses an instance of masturbating to the thought of political figures Joe Biden and Donald Trump, and candidly admits to frequently lying in both personal and professional contexts, including in their online writing. The article is interspersed with the author's reflections on their own behavior and the influence of political ideologies on their sexual experiences.

Opinions

The author expresses a nonchalant attitude towards the intersection of their sexual preferences and political inclinations, suggesting a personal separation between the two.
The author seems to enjoy the shock value and potential controversy of their actions, as indicated by their willingness to share sensitive details and the use of politically charged language.
There is a hint of self-deprecation in the author's admission of lying frequently, which could be interpreted as a satirical commentary on the nature of online content creation.
The author appears to derive pleasure from unconventional sexual practices, such as foot fetishism, and sees them as a way to enhance their sexual encounters.
The author's political views are presented through the lens of their sexual partners, suggesting that these encounters have influenced their perspective on the political landscape.
By inviting readers to subscribe to their newsletter and comment on their articles, the author seems to be seeking engagement and possibly validation from their audience.

7 Things You Don’t Know About Me and My Political Sex

Photo by Library of Congress on Unsplash

#1 — I’m not famous

That’s why nobody’s interested in this listicle.

But I won’t stop there for two reasons.

The first one is that I’ll talk about sex and politics in the rest of this article. And the second one is more personal, money.

#2 — I had sex with a republican last month

It happened during a business trip to Houston. I spent eight days there, used Tinder, and hooked up with a republican. Savannah had neck-length blond hair, a cute B cup, and voted Trump in the last two elections.

She will happily do it again as long as she (and he) lives.

She particularly enjoyed my rubbing of her feet while she explained why Democrats are a danger to the three pillars of any developed country.

To paraphrase Savannah, it’s because they don’t have enough respect for authority, aren’t loyal to the flag, and desecrate the purity of marriage vows.

#3— I have a foot fetish

I like to lick feet. I like to suck toes. (But only if they’re clean.)

Sometimes I wonder where this kink came from.

Is it nurture or nature? Was it because of my first-grade teacher’s habit of walking barefoot in class? Does it have something to do with the Sears catalog I used for masturbation inspiration as a teenager?

I guess I’ll never know.

But most of the time, I just don’t care and enjoy licking the feet of my dates.

They’re usually surprised, but overall I get very positive feedback — exceed expectations kind of grade.

#4 — I also have a tattoo fetish

You could say I’m tattoosexual. I already wrote about this fetish before. So I won’t go into details here.

#5 — I had sex with a democrat last year

Skylar had five tattoos, a generous D cup, and would have loved to vote for Bernie Sanders.

It happened during another of my business trips to Houston. My stay was longer — 3 weeks — so I used Bumble, and hooked up with a democrat.

Skylar was more reserved than I expected, but we had our fun.

You might see a pattern here, but I think what convinced her to relax was the foot massage I gave her. When I pressed on the sciatic nerve area of her right foot, she had a long shiver and explained why republicans are the scourge of any democracy.

To paraphrase Skylar, it’s because they don’t care enough for the less privileged and treat unfairly anyone that doesn’t fit their mold.

#6 — I masturbated thinking of Joe Biden and Donald Trump yesterday

It wasn’t as exciting as I hoped it would be after rewatching the 2020 presidential debates.

I don’t recommend it.

#7 — I lie all the time

I know this might come as a surprise because I often use the tags “this happened to me” and “totally true account of my life,” but I do lie all the time.

I lie at work, at home, and when I write online.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I must be the only online writer who writes completely untrue accounts of his life for clicks and $. Shame me in the comments; I’ll answer with some emojis.

Chandran Ramapreeti will be happy to know she inspired this article (and two others — to be published soon — subscribe to my newsletter if you don’t want to miss them).

A Few Things You Don’t Know About Me

I don’t know if I can commit to 10, but I’ll try

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Smillew is a Medium artist who writes about testicles scratching tools, his Medium newsletter, and his Medium referral link. No need to follow him; he’ll show up in your feed.