7 Things I Avoid To Become Happier
I stopped comparing myself to other people.
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~ Dalai Lama
We all want to be happier in life. Still, no one wants to undergo complex changes to make themselves more emotionally healthy.
Positive changes can make your life better, but they mean breaking old habits that don’t serve you any good. And that’s challenging.
I’ve noticed my stress has decreased and I feel more content within myself when I break old habits and apply new practices that improve my life.
When my life is better, I get better.
So, if you want to become happier in life, avoid these seven things.
1. Stop Holding On To Anger And Hatred.
As Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
You’re not hurting anyone by living with hatred. You’re only torturing yourself more. It’s not healthy for your mind, soul, and body. Give yourself love.
If I noticed a loved one was not acting like themselves lately, I would think:
“Okay, this has nothing to do with me. I don’t take it personally because this person isn’t acting like themselves. I will give them some time alone.”
It’s best to be immune to people who lash out for no reason. Living with anger and hatred for someone is not healthy for you in the long run. Never let hate and anger dictate your life.
It only hurts yourself.
How To Apply.
- Meditation can help you to forgive yourself and others. Try Hoʻoponopono healing prayer for forgiveness and reconciliation. The mantras are simple and powerful; “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” You are cleansing all the hate and resentment you have inside. Be easy on yourself.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others.
There is no need for it. The only one you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. You simply ask yourself, “What could I have done better this time?”
It only helps you know yourself better and become better than who you were. Comparing yourself to who you were yesterday is the best investment for your personal growth, and it’s an exciting journey to know yourself better.
Social media is not reality. It’s not real. Everyone tries to tell everyone how “perfect” their life is, but we don’t know what happens behind the scenes and when the camera is shut off.
How To Apply.
- Unfollow any page on social media that reminds you of how everyone has a better life than yours. Follow pages on social media that give you inspiration and motivation. Look at your previous work or old videos and ask yourself what you could have improved and done better. It’s the best way to invest in yourself online.
3. Stop Taking Everything Personally.
If you have confidence in yourself, you won’t be bothered by what anyone says to you. People will express anger and lash out. Let them express it without taking it personally.
It’s a waste of time trying to dictate what people should say or not. Focus on how you talk to yourself instead. It’s the most crucial part of your journey.
If your friend told you they took something very personally and felt sad about how another person spoke to them, how would you encourage them? “Aw, don’t take it personally.”
Why advise your friend if you aren’t using your own advice?
It doesn’t make sense to me, but I understand we all have a moment of feeling low. I would say, don’t take it personally. The way someone talks to you is the way they talk to themselves.
How To Apply.
- Work on your self-concept and self-image. It’s important to see yourself positively instead of being hard on yourself. L’oreal says, “I’m worth it.” — See yourself as a worthy person. You deserve the best because you’re worth it.
4. Stop Being Isolated For A Long Time.
It’s a beautiful feeling to be alone to recharge your energy for a while. The more I go out, the saner I feel. The longer I stay inside, the more insane thoughts I get. Still, in the end, we are social creatures who need other people to survive.
Imagine if you were the only person in this world. How scary and frightening would that be? Being isolated for a long time is not healthy for your heart. Being separated from the world is not beneficial in the long run for your health.
How To Apply.
- Make a schedule where you do outdoor activities, such as biking, exercising, swimming, sunbathing, hiking, jogging, or anything that helps you get serotonin from the sun and be in a better mood emotionally.
- It doesn’t matter if you do it alone. Do it anyway. Your life shouldn’t be on standby because you’re on your own.
5. Stop Being Friends With Toxic People.
It’s not your job to save people if they choose not to be saved. It’s a waste of your time to try to “fix” other people. Let people deal with their own life, and you deal with your own life. You will lift a heavy weight off your shoulder that way.
Being friends with toxic people is draining. These people reflect their insecurities on you because they can’t deal with their insecurities alone. You will constantly be reminded of how you are never good enough.
It doesn’t mean you should stop being friends with someone if your friendship is primarily positive and less negative. Instead, communicate with each other and solve the problem with love and understanding.
This is the only time where I believe you should focus on the positive, but it takes two to make it work, so choose your circle wisely and carefully.
How To Apply.
- Unfollow these people on social media and slowly spend less time with them, if they bring you a bad vibe. Speak up when you have to, and be okay with being alone for a while if it’s necessary. Express how you feel and never fall for toxic people’s victim mentality. Don’t mistake victim mentality with genuine vulnerability.
6. Stop Being Part of the Drama.
I don’t have time for that. I don’t like drama. I don’t like spending time with people who don’t participate in creating happy times and spreading positivity around. I don’t have time for people who have ill intentions.
I’d rather be with calm people and those who are willing to change into becoming better humans. If your mind is full of peace, why be with people with chaos inside their minds?
Why waste time gossiping about other people when you can use all that time on doing something meaningful and valuable, such as investing in your own life and creating happy memories with your loved ones?
They are on a low level, and you’re on a high level. Match with those on the same level as you, just like you match with players who are on the same level as you in video games. (Yes, online games can teach you valuable wisdom.)
How To Apply.
- Avoid people who gossip a lot. If they talk about other people, they will also gossip about you. It’s not a good sign of true friendship right there. Stop caring about what people do with their lives and care more about improving your own life. If you talk with someone who always gossips about other people negatively and runs away from them, they’re on a low level.
7. Stop Watching The News.
I barely watch the news anymore. I am more into movies. The more I watched the news during the lockdown, the more anxious I became. If you have no awareness of how the news can affect your mood, you will get sicker quickly if you don’t break this old habit.
You can’t control the world, but you can prevent what is happening in your world. Try to create happy memories every day without watching the news, and you will notice how you feel better in time.
It’s OK to be informed, but there is no reason to be overwhelmed with how terrible life can be. The world is not completely bad. It can be beautiful as well.
I tried to follow the news for a while and noticed how I became more anxious throughout the day. If you are anxious and don’t know why, maybe the harmful consumption of news you receive every day is the leading cause.
How To Apply.
- Simply stop watching the news. Replace your news consumption with watching motivational speeches or anything related to personal growth, such as reading a book. This is the best investment in your personal development. I never use the TV except for watching movies that bring me a good vibe.
The Bottom Line.
You make your life easier when you avoid these things I’ve mentioned above. You can try and watch the news every day and see if you become more anxious again. You can see it for yourself.
Let go of anger, stop comparing yourself to others, unfollow people who give you negative influence, avoid being isolated for a long time, stay away from toxic people, decrease all the drama in your life and turn off the TV.
The first step in changing yourself is breaking the old habits that aren’t good for your heart. Open your mind to new changes, even if they seem uncomfortable in the beginning.
You evolve just like butterflies evolve:
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou