7 Things and People to Avoid After a Breakup

Steer clear of these people, movies, and media

Breakups are rough, but some things make them a whole lot worse.

From your overly positive friend to the movie with the unrealistically perfect prince — there are some things and people we should avoid when we split.

Protecting ourselves can speed up the healing process rather than prolonging or wallowing in it.

Here are seven things and people you should avoid during a breakup.

#1 The Positive Pollyanna

Some friends are naturally positive but can be realistic when you’re going through something serious. Other friends are the definition of toxic positivity. Even when something is obviously bad, they refuse to acknowledge it as such. This can make breakups worse.

When you want someone to rant to, the Positive Pollyanna says, “it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all.”

While you may ultimately agree, you can’t start cleaning up the hurricane while you’re still in it. Pushing someone to feel positive when they feel negative is hurtful. It leads to bottled-up emotions and rejects us of the lessons of pain.

#2 The Friend in a New Relationship

Some friends are supportive even when they’re in a new relationship. But if your friend can’t help but gush, you might want to steer clear of them until you’ve healed.

While you should be happy for your friend, it’s okay if you don’t want to hear about their exciting romantic life right now. The happy, joyful, infatuation stages of a new relationship are the furthest thing from what you feel right now and you don’t need to be reminded of it.

#3 Your 20-Questions Aunt

If you have a family member that asks you a billion question each time you see them, you’ll want to avoid them for a good amount of time after the breakup.

Are you dating? How’s [your partner] doing?

Oh, you broke up, why? What happened?

When you’re trying to process the situation yourself, you don’t want to fill out a verbal survey for anyone else. This is doubly unfun is the family member is pressuring you to “get married and start a family already.”

#4 Positive Love Songs

The right song can help you get out anger and carry you through a breakup and into healing. It’s likely this isn’t a positive love song though.

When you’re looking for a crying soundtrack, choose ones you can relate to. That could be a song about heartbreak, cheating, or being better off without them. For now, try to stay away from songs where love is professed and celebrated.

#5 Social Media

In some ways, social media might distract you from your pain. But there’s plenty of other websites and apps to use for that. Spending time on social media when you’re heartbroken is opening the door for lurking. What’s your ex doing? Are they happy? Have they moved on yet?

The answers don’t really matter because your healing should be separate from them. But the nagging curiosity can be enough to take you over. If you discover something you don’t like, you could feel even more hurt.

In the least, checking up on your partner can prevent you from moving on. It can make you feel like they’re still a part of your life, delaying healing.

#6 Happy Endings

I mean, you can have happy endings, but don’t watch any movies with them. I know watching chick flicks is a common breakup activity, but I suggest sticking to comedies or ones that you know don’t end perfectly.

While your relationship is falling apart, watching the success of another can be painful, even if it’s fake. It can bring up painful memories and make you sadder. This can help release your emotions instead of bottling them up, which is a good thing. But if you’re someone like me, you don’t need any help crying after a breakup. (Plus, your breakup playlist will probably do the trick).

I’ve learned that while I’m heartbroken, I love watching movies with narcissistic characters. I love watching other relationships fail on screen. It’s a lot more relatable.

#7 Dating

“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

This is bad advice and could lead to serial dating and perpetual heartbreaks. After a breakup, it’s good to take some time to heal and reflect. This ensures that we’re a whole person again before offering ourselves to others.

When we haven’t gotten over our ex yet, we might look for people to fill the void. Doing this leads to us choosing people who are bad for us. We might settle for less just to feel loved.

If we use this coping strategy every breakup, it can become hard to be alone over time.

Final Thoughts

Avoiding these types of movies, songs, media, and people can make us feel better when we’re heartbroken. While honoring our emotions is necessary, wallowing in it can prolong the process.

At the same time, people or things that devalue or interrupt our healing can make it worse. To feel better quicker, avoid the things and people mentioned in this article.