7 Signs Your Inner Child Is Upset
#7. Difficulty trusting others
Do you ever feel like something’s off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? Like there’s a missing piece to the puzzle of your emotions, leaving you feeling adrift in a world that doesn’t quite make sense? You’re not alone. Many of us carry wounds from childhood that we may not even be aware of—wounds that can affect every aspect of our lives, from our relationships to our creativity to our sense of self-worth. But acknowledging these wounds is the first step toward healing, toward reconnecting with the child within us who still longs for love, acceptance, and understanding.
Join me on a journey of self-discovery as we explore the subtle signs that your inner child may still be hurting and upset. From feelings of depersonalization to explosive outbursts, from creative blocks to strained relationships, these signs offer clues to the deeper wounds we carry. But by recognizing these signs, we can begin to offer ourselves the love and care we need to heal, reconnect with the joyful, imaginative spirit of our inner child, and build a brighter, more fulfilling future.
1. Depersonalization or derealization
Do you constantly feel like an impostor, as if you’re physically present, but it’s like you’re watching life from a distance, not fully connected to yourself, the world, or the people around you?
These are symptoms of depersonalization and derealization, which are mental states of disassociation, or, in other words, their mental escapes Studies have shown that depersonalization is linked with maltreatment during childhood. Having a wounded inner child may make you feel like you’re living a false life or that your life has no sense of liveliness.
2. Explosiveness
You know how a child throws tantrums, cries, and has angry outbursts over the smallest things? Having an upset inner child may make you react that way well into adulthood; perhaps other people often call you out for overreacting; you may even get annoyed at yourself too but these quote-unquote overreactions are caused by unresolved hurt or pain and having been subjected to this may cause a deep reaction no matter what age you are.
For example, as a child, you probably felt disregarded if you often get angry when someone is not paying attention to you. This shouldn’t be an excuse to remain that way, though if your mood swings happen more often than not, a mental health checkup may be needed.
3. Creative block
Artists are just children who refuse to put down their crayons but what happens to the children whose crayons are forcefully taken away from them? It’s no secret that children often enjoy creative activities; after all, it’s a great way to express their natural childlike imagination and sense of adventure.
So if you constantly find yourself facing art block or a lack of motivation and inspiration, there’s a good chance you were stifled as a child and prevented from expressing yourself. It may sound counterintuitive, but art itself may be just the solution we need for healing. You can start drawing, singing, dancing, and doing other creative activities that can reconnect you with the imaginative child within. Don’t think too much; let go of the pressure and freely express yourself.
4. Strain relations
A neglected or upset inner child can make it difficult to build healthy relationships with your friends and family. This may result in family tension, feeling rejected and criticized as an outcast or even being stuck in an emotionally dependent relationship because your inner child doesn’t feel at peace. Some internal feelings of frustration or resentment may cause you to constantly get into arguments and misunderstandings with those around you.
5. Always seeking approval from others
Do you only feel better when people validate you, but once it stops, you feel empty again? When we talk about seeking approval, it’s like your inner child always wants a thumbs up or a gold star from others, your friends, family, or classmates.
This stems from a deep desire for words like you’re doing great or I like you just the way you are. This longing goes back to when you were younger and needed lots of love and care. If you didn’t get enough of that back then, your inner child might still feel a bit unsure now.
So if you often find yourself checking if others like what you’re doing, it’s because your inner child hopes to feel accepted and loved. To tackle the constant need for approval, try acknowledging and appreciating your achievements independently, cultivating self-love, and celebrating your victories, big or small. Remember, you’re amazing just as you are and your worth doesn’t solely depend on external validation.
6. Regressive coping behaviors
Sometimes, when things get tough or overwhelming, you might notice yourself doing things you used to enjoy when you were younger, like playing with old toys, watching your favorite childhood shows, or doing hobbies that feel familiar and comforting.
It’s kind of like finding a cozy spot in your past to escape the stress of adult responsibilities. That is totally normal, but if you catch yourself avoiding adult tasks and responsibilities by escaping to simpler times, that could be a problem. While it's okay to find comfort in the past, it's important to balance it with facing challenges and responsibilities.
Instead of escaping, find out why your inner child is hurting and offer the love and care it needs to heal. Understanding the root cause of the pain allows you to address it with compassion and nurture the emotional well-being of your inner self.
7. Difficulty trusting others
If during your childhood someone you trusted deeply, like a caregiver or a close friend, broke promises, tricked you, or manipulated you, those experiences can cause lasting pain and hurt that persist into adulthood, especially when we suppress them, and these feelings are unresolved when your inner child feels hurt and upset.
It puts up a wall, making trusting others a bit tough. Recognizing why your inner child is upset is the first step to healing. Understanding the reasons behind the feelings helps you provide the care and support needed to bring comfort and healing to your inner self.
The most important way to start healing this destructive chain is by acknowledging your inner child and listening to it.
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