avatarDeborah Oyegue

Summary

The article outlines the negative impact of associating with the wrong crowd, emphasizing signs that indicate one's social circle may be detrimental to personal growth and well-being.

Abstract

The article "7 Signs You Are Moving With The Wrong Crowd" delves into the subtle and overt ways in which the company one keeps can hinder personal development. It suggests that being the most accomplished in a group can lead to complacency and a lack of motivation to improve. The piece also criticizes surrounding oneself with individuals who only offer flattery, engage in negative gossip, lack ambition, fail to support or share valuable insights, and expect free services without reciprocity. It underscores the importance of having relationships that are mutually beneficial and encourage growth, rather than those that lead to stagnation or regression. The author advises maintaining boundaries and distancing oneself from relationships that do not contribute positively to one's life, even if they are with family or long-time friends.

Opinions

  • Being the best among one's peers can lead to a cessation of personal growth due to a lack of challenge or incentive to improve.
  • Flattery from friends, while comforting, can prevent one from recognizing areas for self-improvement.
  • Engaging in gossip is a waste of time and indicates that the gossiper likely speaks ill of you to others.
  • Associating with people who lack direction or goals in life can be detrimental to one's own aspirations and achievements.
  • Relationships should be reciprocal; one should distance themselves from those who do not support their endeavors or share valuable information.
  • It is important to keep personal plans and ambitions private to avoid negative influences and potential sabotage.
  • One should not allow others to take advantage of their skills or time without fair compensation or reciprocity.
  • It is crucial to recognize and avoid individuals who consistently devalue your efforts and drain your energy.
  • The author emphasizes the necessity of identifying and moving away from harmful relationships, regardless of the nature of the connection.

7 Signs You Are Moving With The Wrong Crowd

#5 is the least obvious

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Our environment influences a lot of who we become. This is not merely the geographical location — even though that matters as well, but the people we surround ourselves with.

In this article, I am going to show you how the people you surround yourself with might be affecting your life. Because as a wise saying goes, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

1. You are better than all of them

“In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” — Desiderius Erasmus

It is easy to think you are the best when you are surrounded by people you are better than.

When you relax with this mindset, you would stop learning, leading to stunted growth. You would not feel the need to improve on yourself because you are seemingly better than everyone around you.

2. They lie to make you feel better

While this doesn’t make them bad people, it reduces your potential to get better. You need to have at least two people (bad cops) who tell you what it is, exactly as it is.

If you only surround yourself with people who set up rose petals glasses as mirrors for you, then you will keep living in delusions and never grow well enough to make a difference in the aspects of your life you would want.

3. They talk badly about other people to you

This has a double-edged effect. First, it is a precious waste of time, and the second, they are doing the same behind your back to other people.

There is not much to be said about this point; it is a huge waste of time to sit down and talk about how others are living their lives, and it won’t speak well of you if you reduce yourself to their level.

4. They don’t have plans for their life and are content to wing it

If you are surrounded by people who see no need to develop themselves and evolve to be better than they are now, then you are in the worst type of crowd.

Anything that doesn’t appreciate, would depreciate with time. And life is all about learning and growing.

People who never make plans for investing in their lives, but only engage in fun topics about girls, boys, drinking, smoking, and playing are DISASTROUS to your growth.

Avoid them as much as you can.

5. They don’t support your work and have never shared any information of value to you

If you can’t think of one good thing you have learned or gained from a friendship with someone, or can’t trace positive changes to your association with that person, then that relationship is harming you more than you know.

You should surround yourself with people who add value to your life, as this encourages you to reciprocate.

It is much fun when you grow together, but if you are surrounded by people who deplete your energy and your resources, then stay far away from such a relationship.

6. They always want to know what you are up to so they can keep full tabs on your life

The general rule is, Keep your plans to yourself.

In this case, you have to apply emotional intelligence because no matter how good-hearted a person is, they would not want you to do better than them.

7. They want you to keep doing free stuff for them and never offer to pay for your services

Some people pretend to have your best interest at heart, but their actions speak otherwise.

If you have people who constantly encroach on your time, especially when business is involved, but try to manipulate you with the relationship they share with you, then you need to draw a long line.

I had people who promised the world to push my business for me, but came back and demanded my time to provide free services to them — when they were getting paid to deliver such services. To make it worse, they offered to pay a pittance for my data, but not the services I rendered to them.

These are people who will want to see you suffer, so they can boast of the beggarly amount they gave you to boost their morale.

Draw a line that can’t be crossed. You need to stand up and walk out of that relationship.

8. They don’t appreciate what you do and always try to make you feel bad

Stay far away from people who make you feel miserable.

People who never appreciate what you do, but find a way to complain and make you feel terrible for even attempting it.

You can never satisfy these people, and you shouldn’t waste a second more, trying. These people would only drain your energy and suck the life out of you.

TLDR? Here are the points:

1. You are better than all of them

2. They lie to make you feel better

3. They talk badly about other people to you

4. They don’t have plans for their life and are content to wing it

5. They don’t support your work and have never shared any information of value to you

6. They always want to know what you are up to so they can keep full tabs on your life

7. They want you to keep doing free stuff for them and never offer to pay for your services

8. They try to manipulate you to do things for them

9. They don’t appreciate what you do and always try to make you feel bad

Some of these people might be your extended family members or your friends, but you don’t have to stay in those relationships. Identify the people who might be causing you harm, and stay as far away from the problematic source as possible.

Relationships
Mental Health
Life Lessons
Advice
Self Improvement
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