7 Qualities That Make A Good Man
Men have had to silently put up with societal norms on what is considered manly and what isn’t.
Because politics are woven into our social lives these days, I’m fully aware that the American conservative movement is filled with both weird and terrible people.
Terrible in that they’re destroying democracy at the pace of a sloth planning to stab someone in the back. However, there are a lot of weird things that have stemmed from it too.
One of the weirdest is one that’s making the rounds right now. A Tucker Carlson show that Fox is pushing and the teaser for the first episode is the most absurd thing that I ever saw and can not take seriously.
About mid-way through the teaser — accompanied by epic music playing — you see this.
There was a tonne of other things leading up to this that I couldn’t take seriously.
The fact every man in these clips wasn’t wearing a shirt.
There was a guy milking a cow with no bucket underneath — leading to many saying that that clip was just a guy fondling a cow’s udders.
A shirtless man gulping down several egg yokes — giving me some Gaston vibes from Beauty and The Beast.
But that clip there was where I had to shake my head and wonder what is going on. Is Tucker trolling people and is now working to convince his male audience zapping your balls with red light is a good idea? Maybe.
Or is he that daft that something like this is a legitimate form of healthy self-care? Maybe.
Regardless of if those answers are correct or not, one thing is certain. Here is yet another man looking at an issue with men and forcing stereotypical masculinity “bro” nonsense that doesn’t describe all men.
For more context, the idea of testicle tanning is that it’s believed this red light therapy is able to increase testosterone in men. According to Tucker Carlson, this seems to be the only solution out there to solve the low testosterone levels that men are experiencing more or more these days.
While there is a cornel of truth to it — men do indeed have a decline in testosterone — the solution that’s provided is classic snake oil salesmanship.
And by extension, it throws Tucker Carlson’s new show into question. Because that teaser paints a pretty clear picture about what makes a man strong and what makes them weak.
Good levels of testosterone are apparently one of those things.
But I can imagine that Tucker Carlson is going to have a very narrow view as to what actually makes a man. After all, I saw that trailer and zapping your balls is not a bright idea.
And a lot of the other clips and imagery that were displayed don’t define what a man fully is. It follows the stereotypical stance that what makes a man you need to have specific qualities:
- You need to be buff
- You need to have good levels of testosterone
- You need to do manly things
- You can’t show emotions
- You have to be the protector and the provider
The list goes on.
It’s funny that this show is talking about the war on men implying that society is forcing them to be a certain way and here is this show pushing a specific ideology for what a man should be right in their faces.
Of course, this happens all the time. This too is an article suggesting a certain ideology. But the difference here is that I’m not focused on certain “manly” tropes that are ineffective and have been for a very long time. Instead, mine reflects a healthier version that we men can pursue.
1. Considerate
What Tucker Carlson’s show made me remember is how much a lot of us men suffer from these kinds of tropes in silence. We don’t often bring up these topics because societal norms are so backwards.
When we raise these concerns that these ideologies are not helpful it’s usually followed by that person being called out as too weak or unmanly.
Instead of shaming that behaviour, it should be accepted as normal. By no means do we need to praise every single call out, however, it shows a quality of what makes a good man: consideration.
What makes a man is someone who is able to tap into their emotions — something that has long been suggested we repress. But beyond that consider other angles and how other people’s emotions and way of life fit into the overall situation.
For example, the reason men are struggling with testosterone levels is connected to the various chemicals that are in so many products that men use on a regular basis. One step that men can then make isn’t to zap their balls with lasers, but rather to support products and companies that are producing healthcare products that are better for the environment.
2. Emotionally Intelligent
Building on the previous point, a man who is emotionally intelligent and acts on it is another solid quality. Because men have been portrayed as these emotionless individuals for years, having a man convey emotions but also understand other people’s emotions is highly valued.
It breaks down the idea that all men are not the same and that we’re complex individuals as well. We have to deal with emotions and it’s better for us to have them out in the open.
Furthermore, leverage them in all kinds of other situations beyond displaying emotions.
3. Direct
Directness goes hand in hand with emotional intelligence as there is a time and place to be direct and that’s not all the time. Directness — when used in a healthy manner — is a way to be setting up clear communication about thoughts, opinions, and emotions.
Yes, we all have our secrets and not everyone knows everything about ourselves, but that’s all the more reason to be as clear as possible in most instances. To show others who we really are.
The people that dodge questions or just shrug their shoulders at situations are more annoying to deal with.
4. Reliable
One quality that rings slightly true to the stereotypical man is this quality. So often the stereotypical man qualities enforce the idea that men need to be providers and cover the needs of everyone.
There is some truth to that, but today that’s shifted a lot to the point that men should be at least reliable to get things done and to follow through when they’re called to do something.
We shouldn’t have to do every single thing for the people that are in our lives. However, that’s not an excuse to do absolutely nothing for the people in our lives either.
5. A Sense Of Style
One of the stereotypical tropes that I enjoy pointing out on occasion is how men fit into a certain trope that is pushed onto women: their love for shopping.
Over the years, I’ve heard from women loath shopping whereas for me I love it. A lot of the time my shopping experience is window shopping — because I’m poor — however, I could easily find myself spending hours in various shops if given the chance.
Even grocery shopping is just this thrilling and exciting thing for me.
But shopping all ties into this sense of style and use of fashion. Men’s fashion is more toned down than women’s fashion of course, but a man should be able to have a good style for himself but also have a bit of an eye for what would look good for women too.
6. Kindness
Kindness can be displayed in many ways. It can be a friendly demeanour, a willingness to hug someone, creating an environment where people feel comfortable around you, or all of these things.
Kindness goes a long way and is behind other qualities like offering support, being a good listener, having optimism, being generous and more. It’s the bedrock for what defines a man.
7. Passion
Not the sexual kind but rather an enthusiasm to pursue something in life. Anything from health, to making more money, or being a better person, passion implies goals and ambitions in life.
The “war on men” is a hoax. It’s pushing an idea that what made men tough in the past is what should be the norm now. The reality is that the world has changed so much. Men have gone through a lot of mental issues from what these tropes encourage men to be doing.
It doesn’t work and a lot of those tactics today are just people being scared that men have changed so much over the years.
They have changed and a lot of that change is for the better. Let’s keep working on changing more.
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