7 Powerful Ways To Show You Love Someone
Enough with the soppy love lines and empty promises
You can say you love someone as much as you want, but in the end, only your actions matter.
A college friend of mine learned this the hard way. A female ‘friend’ of his strung him along for almost a year, telling him how much she cared for him and how he was so different from all the other guys she knew.
He thought he had a future with her. Based on everything she said, anyone would.
But there were plenty of red flags. The biggest one was that she didn’t act like she loved him. She just said nice things. So after a while, he saw through her empty words.
Some people are real smooth. They can win your friendship with a few calculated lines. But lasting relationships are built on how you make people feel, not what you say.
Most authentic ways that show someone you love them are difficult to fake. Anyone can buy fancy gifts or act friendly. But there are some things that come naturally and show a deeper level of love. Some of these take a lot of effort, and that’s exactly why they show how much you care.
Whether it's your close friends, your partner, or your family, there are 7 big ways you can let them know how much you love them. When you actually care, they are very simple to practice.
1. Care for them when they’re sick
When I got hospitalized with dengue, I was studying abroad with no family around. My girlfriend stayed by my side for 5 nights while I recovered and her parents visited often, bringing me home-cooked soup and things.
There’s something about being cared for when you are at your weakest that brings you so much warmth and gratitude.
Visiting people and caring for them when they’re sick is a genuine way to show your love. When you’re sick you aren’t your best self and receiving care when you are so vulnerable shows you how much you’re valued. No wonder so many patients fall in love with their doctors and caregivers. You build a special, deeper connection.
How you can go about it
- Go out of your way to look after your family when they are sick
- Visit your friends when they are in the hospital
- Accompany them to the doctor
- If you don’t have the time, at least give your loved ones a call to check up on them to show they’re in your thoughts
2. Serve them first
When I was growing up, my mom always used to fill our plates before her own. Even when I was 17 and able to serve myself, she’d make sure I had food before thinking of her own.
A simple but effective way to show respect and love is to serve others first. Don’t just fill your plate and start downing your potatoes. Offer to put food on their plates before filling your own. This doesn’t just go for food, but life in general.
Allowing them to go before you in the line. Offering to shower last after a long, sweaty road trip. Driving them home late at night, even though you’d rather be home sleeping. These are all examples of thinking of others before yourself. Doing this demonstrates your selfless love and care for them.
How you can go about it
- Open the door and let them go first. It symbolizes your willingness to put them first
- If you’re going to the kitchen/buffet table/office pantry, grab them some of whatever you’re getting, or offer to refill their drink.
- In every situation, look out for how you can make them happy before looking to satisfy yourself
3. Remember the little things
When you remember the little things about someone, they feel appreciated. I’ve found this to be true in my relationship with my wife.
The standard gifts like a shirt or cool piece of technology are nice to receive. But it’s the small, thoughtful gifts that hit home: the things mentioned in passing comments or the minor details that nobody notices. When we get each other things that reveal how much we pay attention to and remember each other, we feel more loved.
Even amongst friends. When you recall something they mentioned a while ago, maybe their favorite type of cake or a story from their childhood, you show how much you care. Everyone loves to be remembered. And you can show this by taking note of the smaller things.
How you can go about it
- Take mental notes when people share stories. Stories communicate what people want you to remember about them
- When people comment about things they like, take note. Those are golden for future gift ideas.
- Try to be observant of the people you care about. Take a mental note of their Subway toppings so you know what to get them next time without asking.
- Grab them something every so often to show you thought of them
4. Actually listen
One of the most comforting feelings in life is to be heard. To know someone acknowledges you and what you have to say. But not everyone listens to what we have to say.
Listening isn’t just taking in information. It’s acknowledging the other person’s voice. It’s putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. When you love someone, you don’t listen with the intent of responding. You listen with the intent of understanding.
Good relationships between couples, friends, and families are all founded on strong communication. Not just words, but the intent and meaning behind them.
If you want to show someone you love them, listen. Sometimes they’ll say one thing but deep down mean another. When you actually listen, you hear the messages they are trying to send you. When you show interest in them, they feel loved and understood.
How you can go about it
- Sometimes people want to be listened to, not given advice. Be conscious of this.
- Block out your desire to respond when someone is talking. Don’t miss anything. Try to wait for them to finish before formulating your response.
- Try to look beyond the face value of what people say. Does ‘I don’t want to’ actually mean ‘I’m scared to try’?
5. Give them your time
Time is your most valuable resource. Every minute you live decreases the time you have left. To say every second is precious is an understatement.
So when you share your time with someone, you show them how important they are to you. Whether it’s through a conversation, a shared activity, or creating something for them, you give them a part of you that you’ll never get back.
You need to be present though. If you’re distracted or in a bad mood, you might as well be doing something else. People can tell when you’re not engaged. But when you give your undivided attention, they’ll appreciate your presence and look forward to their time with you.
How you can go about it
- Go the extra mile to do something nice for them.
- Take time from your busy schedule to spend time. Show them they’re a priority.
- Turn off notifications when spending time
- Track your energy levels. Try spend time when you’re at your best
6. Make them look good in front of others
I’m horrible at chairing meetings. I find it awkward at times. It’s one of my weaknesses. But my wife always helps me out when she’s there. She jumps in when she sees me struggling or helps break an awkward silence.
When the person you love is in an uncomfortable situation, making them look and feel good in front of others shows you’ve got their back. There’s a deep appreciation I have for my wife every time she saves me from awkward social situations. I can tell she cares.
Making others look good isn’t just about saving them from bad situations. It’s also giving them confidence and showing your appreciation. Sharing about their successes when they’re too modest to bring them up, or telling others about their good qualities really highlights how you feel.
How you can go about it
- Compliment them or share your appreciation for them in front of others
- Do your best to cover up their mistakes
- Show support in embarrassing or uncomfortable situations
- Jump in when they’re struggling with something
7. Take an interest in what’s important to them
Do you ever see a person’s face light up when they start talking about something? Take note of those topics. Activate those feelings whenever you can.
But actually take an interest. Asking for the sake of asking only gets you so far. You don’t have to love the same things, but showing you care about what they care about gives them excitement and validation.
This goes for activities too. My wife loves shark movies for some reason. I wouldn’t say I’m a fan, but I now keep an eye out for any new ones coming out and make sure to go see them with her. Actively participating in important aspects of each other’s lives has helped us feel more connected and loved.
How you can go about it
- Ask how their latest project is going? Get them to explain as much as possible
- Accompany them to the concerts, dinner parties and random events that interest them
- Keep an eye out for things they are passionate about and talk about it when you see them next
In summary
The best ways to show someone you care are through the things you do. The actions you take that are difficult to fake. The ones that show how genuine your love is.
- Care for them when they’re sick
- Serve them first
- Remember the little things about them
- Actually listen
- Give them your time. Be present.
- Make them look good in front of others
- Be interested in what’s important to them
If you love someone, there’s a high chance you are already doing some of these. Some come naturally. But maybe others take a little bit of conscious effort.
Either way, if someone crossed your mind as you read this, a friend, a partner, or a family member, take note. You love them and want them to know it.
So go out there and show it.