7 Myths About Ghosting That Hurt Your Self-Esteem
“The person was out of your league.”
You spoke with passion.
The responses slowed; you intensified your interaction. They were gone without a goodbye within a week.
Ghosting feels like a dating practice here to stay.
These myths let it hurt your self-esteem. Let us debunk them.
#1. The person was out of your league.
If someone is out of your league, you still stand a chance of dating them. It is not about believing you are worthy.
Ask what they want in a life partner. Do you still think you want to wake up next to them? Change the relevant area of your life. Before they ghost you for not meeting their standards, excuse yourself from their DMs.
Work on yourself. If the timing is excellent, your crush will be single or unsatisfied with a new relationship. And you can try again at love.
#2. You believe you need a reason.
A desire for closure is a silent beg for validation or the bare minimum statement of “it is not you; it’s me.”.
People exit and enter your life to help, teach, or inspire. Think of it as dodging a worse heartbreak or hurt. Consider it not wasting years with someone who was never as interested as you.
You only reflect on them because you don’t have someone else.
Let them go to allow mental and emotional space for someone new and worthy.
#3. Send more texts to see if they will reply.
If someone ghosts you, after a few days delete the chat. It is a choice that feels like anger. But it is one of maturity.
Your brain uses evidence to self-harm or self-motivate. Keep the chats where people reply front and center. It is a reminder — you can hold entertaining conversations when you find your person.
#4. The chats were lukewarm.
Many times, the ghosting isn’t because of boring discussions.
It is because of what never materialized. Talks, texts, and video calls should lead to meeting in person. If you cannot schedule a time to meet face to face, the chances of ghosting are high.
The person is experiencing talk-fatigue. They wanted to hold your hand, stare into your eyes, and sit next to you. It never happened. They don’t have the energy to keep the chats going.
#5. Everyone in the dating pool is better than me.
Everyone knows most singles talk to several people.
They keep their chats filled until they are in a relationship. So when ghosting happens, you think they moved on to someone better. Not true.
Other daters know their strengths; and how to sell themselves. While you deal with your ghosting emotions, work to figure out why you are a good match for someone.
#6. My personality pushes people away.
Think of dating as a corporate interview.
You would keep some thoughts to yourself until after you get the job. It’s the same with dating. Keep your insane thoughts to yourself. Instead, tell your friends or family until you and your crush are in a good place.
If you have strong opinions, differ your answer or say something politically correct. When you get into the relationship, you might have more wiggle room, to be frank.
It is not your personality. Instead, you don’t allow someone time to adjust to your flaws or weirdness.
#7. I am unlovable.
Your brain’s need to protect you will have you jumping to conclusions. People have genuine emergencies or shifts in their schedules.
In a perfect world, “if they cared, they would have sent a text.“ would have zero gray areas. But there are exceptions.
Some people get depressed. And pull themselves away from others when life gets increasingly difficult. Allow some time to pass before you make hasty decisions.
Are you single right now?
Remember, some people come into your life for a season.
- Define how much of your life you will share over devices.
- Define how long you will talk to someone before meeting them.
- Define your heartbreak healing strategy.
And remember to be kind to other singles. Have a simple, end talks closure statement.
Thank you for reading this post.
© Annie Wegner 2022-Present.
Unlock more helpful content. It only costs $5/month or $50/year, to support the words you read, and you have the chance to make money with your writing. When I started, I made my first $100 in 2 months. By signing up with this link, you’ll support me directly with a portion of your fee. Gift me a Starbuck run. If you do so, thank you plenty!
