7 Hilarious Reasons NOT To Move To Spain — That Are Actually True!

Get Ready to Laugh in Spain (at least in Andalusia).

This is my fifth year in Spain, Andalusia, and I love to write about this country. There is never a dull moment here. Although I live off the grid, there is always something happening in Spain, just like they say about New York City never sleeping.

Life in Spain is overwhelmingly positive but they are a few less positive facts why you won’t like Spain if you move here. They are funny but they are the reality of daily life in Spain.

You may not notice them if you come to Spain just for vacation.

But, some things that I’ve come to accept may not be ideal for everyone. Actually, most of them I love it, even though they are less positive.

That is me, but someone may be annoyed with them or even disgusted.

Tiny roads

Most towns and cities have very tiny roads and I am not kidding, they are tiny. Look at this picture above.

But that is the norm in Spain and you must be comfortable while driving or walking. Many times you will be plastered on the wall.

Driving on the streets can feel like playing a live video game due to unexpected obstacles such as cars backing up or being parked in the middle of the road, and scooters passing you on the right side.

Most of the road space in Spain still follows the medieval layout, not because the Spanish people do not want to progress as a nation, but because many areas are designated as UNESCO Heritage Sites due to Spain’s rich history.

Personal space and Real estate

If you are planning to purchase a property in Spain, be prepared for the fact that personal space may be limited. Unlike in London or New York City, in places like Andalucia, Spain, people tend to have a small-town mentality, and neighbors are likely to become a part of your daily life.

You will have to accept them as an extended family, especially in small towns and villages.

However, even in cities, it’s still possible to hear your neighbor taking a shower if they have an open window. This is because, in Spain, it’s common to have windows in the shower.

Walking instead of driving

For me, it is easier to walk through Granada than to drive to Granada because Spanish cities are made mostly for walking than driving. And I appreciate this but if you aren’t a big walker, you will be in trouble in Spain. Walking is the number one activity, here.

But think about it this way:” Hey, no need to for a gym membership.”

I can do 20 000 steps in Granada easily in a few hours.

Language

In Spain, Spanish isn’t the only language spoken.

Can you tell me how many languages are spoken in Spain?

Just for your information, there are five different languages spoken in the country which include Aranese, Basque, Catalan, Galician, and Castilian.

And on top of this every region, city, or village has a dialect of Spanish. For example, in my village which is only 25 minutes away from Granada, the Spanish dialect is different than in Granada. And Granada Spanish is different than Malaga, or Madrid Spanish. In Granada, they don’t pronounce s’s and d’s.

Andalusia has 8 different Spanish dialects.

Imagine, you stop a taxi and each time the taxi driver has a different accent, it feels like you arrived in a different country.

Good luck learning Spanish!

You must be loud to be heard, extrovert, and dirty mouth

Spain is one extroverted country, it is difficult to be quiet here or stay quiet. If you come to the restaurant, you better shout your presence or make intense eye contact with the waiter, otherwise, you will be waiting for a long time. The same goes if you stay in the line, they will always ask who is the last one.

Spaniards love talking and swearing. They definitely have dirty mouths.

All of them from little kids to the elderly, from people on the streets to professionals, including teachers and your own doctor.

It is funny how laid back they are. Professionalism isn’t strong virtue in Spain. Instead of a robotic, nice, smiley voice, you get a piece of authenticity.

Granada is called malafolla city which means bad mood.

So rather than being surly, sour, or ill-mannered on purpose, granaínos are simply predisposed to irony and black humor.

“As everything is going to end badly, we think at least we’re going to turn it into a joke’,” Granada Law Professor Nicolás López Calera told local daily Ideal, showcasing that predisposition to live in a constant state of pessimistic conformism.

Since I am from Eastern Europe, I find people from Spain to be friendlier and more optimistic compared to people from my home country, Slovakia.

80' music

I live here long enough and I need to tell you Spaniards love the 70–80' music meaning ABBA, Queens, and Tina Turner.

You won’t hear hip-hop or rap as much on the radio, at festivals, or night clubs. Even the beach plays 80'. Which I love, it is nostalgic having a feeling you live in 80.’

Even the bus driver has 80' music. Yes, bus drivers listen to the radio on the bus.

It is quite a lively atmosphere.

I enjoy it.

Public nudity is legal

Get used to naked people, on the beach but on the streets or lakes, too. I live next to the lake and it is an adventure to walk in the morning with my dogs to find a bunch of naked people hanging out.

Once, my dog got excited and jumped on a naked man’s penis to play with his hair. Too bad, I didn’t have a camera with me.

It is legal here to be naked in public places.

So, if you are moving to Spain, don’t be surprised when you will see a bunch of naked people wandering around in the park or the beach. But of course, it would be better to respect their privacy.

Conclusion

As you can see, Spaniards are lively; with their love of irony, 80s music, and public nudity. It is amazing to visit or live in! So don’t hesitate to explore what Spain has to offer.