7 Hidden Traits of Highly Responsible People
#1 They prefer to be honest than good
Within a month after completing my graduation, I have joined as a junior programmer in a startup for low wages.
I was forced to take more responsibility as always the first child in a family is the one who pays the bills and rents, clearing the debt, and takes care of family needs.
Go and sit before the computer, type the code, work really hard to fix the bugs, get the salary, and pay debts and bills. This was my usual routine since I joined a job.
I was not a deadbeat and not highly responsible too, but somewhere in between. You can name it as a mediocre or an average.
And the hardest fact is most of our population lies in this mediocre zone.
Slowly I realized that responsibility is not something that is forced on us but something we take with pleasure.
Responsibility is not in paying debts and bills alone but in finding a way to save your money.
It is not blindly fulfilling the needs of your family but in leading your family on the right path.
Instead of being a mundane programming guy who codes the same thing again and again, being a person who cares to upgrade himself by learning new concepts deliberately is responsibility.
It took almost 28 years for me to realize what responsibility actually means and how a responsible person should be.
There are seven hidden traits of highly responsible people that have the power to change your life if adapted.
They prefer to be honest than good
You can’t be good for everyone.
When you try to be good for everyone then you will please them with your lies expecting something from them in return, maybe a reward or an appreciation or a love.
And moreover choosing to be good for everyone is really a bad value that you don’t have any control over it because even though you are good, others decide from their perspective.
Instead of being good, practice being honest. Integrity and honesty are the two values that make you trustworthy among others in any situation.
Honesty is not only the first step toward greatness, it is greatness itself.
- Christian Nestell Bovee
When you started being honest, it will slowly generate goodness as a by-product.
Responsible people know this truth from their life experiences so they always prefer honesty and integrity over goodness.
They never think their values are perfect
No one is perfect and there is nothing called perfection in this world.
When you consider yourself perfect, your values are right always and others are wrong then you become self-absorbed and entitled.
Entitled people are not vulnerable to their mistakes and scars, so they avoid learning from their mistakes which stop them to grow further in their personal and professional life.
The thought of right always avoids you from accepting your mistakes so in turn avoids you from taking responsibility.
Investigating your own values often by bombarding with a series of questions is the only way to getting rid of entitlement.
Responsible people always doubt their value of being right, feeling good, and taking revenge.
They love to take responsibility for failures
Anyone can take responsibility for their success but only very few will take responsibility for their failures.
When you take responsibility for your failures, you admit the fact that you are the only one going to face it and no one will sort it out for you. This thought gives you an eminent power to accept and learn from your failures under any circumstances.
Life will not always give you a diamond, most of the time it throws the coal at you, only if you are willing to catch those coals you can process and transform the coals into diamonds.
Responsible people always embrace failures and learn from them.
They know to handle responsibility in any relationship
We think relationships are always complex but actually, that is not true. The truth is we are the one who makes the relationship complex without knowing our boundaries and limitations.
When it comes to responsibility in relationships we often misunderstand the terms supporting and acting.
Supporting your partner or children to solve their problem is totally different from yourself acting in place of them to fix their problems only to make them happy.
In the same way, expecting someone to bail you out from your problems makes you to dependent on others.
These things make your relationships complex creating weak boundaries.
Responsible people will never fall into this trap, they always take responsibility for their own values and problems and not taking responsibility for other’s values or problems instead they will support them to fix their problems.
They don’t wait for appreciation or recognition
Appreciation and recognition are the values that cannot be controlled by us. It depends on what others think about us.
When you wait for any reward for your work then you are automatically trapped into the feeling of expectation.
Expecting something in return will make you a slave and work for it. When you work for your expectations then your growth will stagnate.
Moreover, the expectation hurts.
Instead, if you work for your own curiosity then it will generate rewards, appreciations, and recognition as a side effect.
Responsible people always create an inner support system that generates self-appreciation and self-recognition. They reward themselves for every small success and appreciate themselves for accepting their failures.
Recognition within you for your work is more important than one which comes from outside.
They solve the problem instead of avoiding it
Problems are the seeds to grow your courage, improve your instinct, to make you strong mentally, and to grip you with emotional maturity. But most of them avoid it instead of finding a way to solve it.
The problem is not really a problem but it is the truth. If you avoid a problem then you're denying the truth. When you deny accepting the truth then you are fostering lies.
Lies always give you the illusion of feeling better in present but leaves you in vain not producing any result for the future.
A lie may take care of the present but it has no future.
— Croft M.Pentz
Responsible people know that solutions to their problems exist in accepting the problem and engaging with curiosity to solve it instead of avoiding it.
They are proactive instead of reactive
Most people are reactive in nature, responding to their problems or challenges only when they face them.
If you are reactive then you don’t have any plan or any alternative to solve the problem.
As you have no other alternatives, your confidence level to overcome the problem will reduce to zero and you will be forced to manage the problem or challenge without any idea to solve it.
A problem without any proper solution will breed more problems.
In this way, reactive people are often oppressed by endless problems in their life.
Life is full of uncertainty and it is often difficult to predict the future but if you plan things for the future then the future will plan things for you.
When you are proactive you react ahead of time on your future problems, needs, and changes. This gives a wider picture of your future and makes you be ready for uncertainties.
Moreover, proactive people are the one who creates opportunity instead of waiting for one.
I believe that everyone chooses how to approach life. If you’re proactive, you focus on preparing. If you’re reactive, you end up focusing on repairing.
― John C. Maxwell
People with high responsibility will always be prepared for surprises. They are the planners and anticipate crises rather than reel from them.
Final Thoughts
“I am responsible for everything that happens in my life and I will give my cent percent to change my circumstances, no matter the outcome” is a mantra that has the power to change your life completely.
This gives mere ownership for all that happens in your life
So celebrate your responsibility instead of abdicating it.