7 Habits That Will Help You Fight Excessive Perfectionism
How to overcome your inner critic
Once you give in to perfectionism, you open a Pandora’s box.
On the surface, your perfectionism will seem healthy.
I need to demand more from myself. Why should I settle for mediocre results? And finally, the people who succeed in my field are on a different level.
These thoughts might motivate you at first, but the deeper you go, the more you’ll crash into a wall of self-criticism, excessive correction, and overthinking.
In other words, the will to improve is crucial to progress, but taking your desire for self-improvement to obsessive levels will accomplish the opposite.
Once opened, the Pandora’s box of perfectionism will unleash a myriad of progress-hindering forces, notably stress factors, self-defeating thoughts, and unhealthy comparisons.
That’s where perfectionism-containing tactics come into play.
By finding the golden mean between productive self-improvement techniques and excessive perfectionism, you’ll achieve gradual progress without beating yourself up for every mistake.
On this basis, here are seven habits that will help you fight excessive perfectionism.
1. Realize that perfection is a myth
First and foremost, realizing the impossibility of perfection is critical.
In this context, Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest scientists of all time, said the following:
“One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist. Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist.”
Consequently, there is no perfection in science. To fight negative everyday perfectionism, however, we need to go back down earth.
A few years ago, I was struggling with self-doubt and anxiety. I wasn’t sure whether my online career was going anywhere, and I was questioning my life choices.
Through journaling and self-reflection, I got to the root of my anxiety: perfectionism. I believed that in my first year as an entrepreneur, everything needed to be perfect. I demanded the absolute best from myself, and it nearly killed me.
One habit that helped me get through these rough periods was accepting that perfection is a myth.
One day, I came across an Egyptian proverb. It stated: “A beautiful thing is never perfect.”
I incorporated this proverb and Steven Hawking’s quote into my daily gratitude affirmations.
As such, every morning, I would get up and tell myself that beautiful things aren’t perfect and that without imperfection, I wouldn’t exist.
These two affirmations provided mental stimulants to overcoming perfectionism. Instead, I started to strive for real, tangible progress.
2. Set realistic goals
Goals are a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, well-defined goals can help you work with more poise and tenacity. Rigid goals, on the other hand, can fuel self-doubt and anxiety.
That’s why you need realistic goals.
In this context, setting realistic goals is more challenging than most people think.
First, goals need to be ambitious. Without ambition, they are just logical developments, not genuine improvements.
As an example, if you set a goal of making 3,000 dollars this month while already having a corporate salary of 3,000 dollars, you’re not chasing progress. You’re just counting on the status quo. Your mind shifts into mission-accomplished mode before you even start.
Setting a goal of 3,200 dollars, on the other hand, will have a different effect. Your mind will start to assess the possibilities of complementing your salary with a 200-dollar side hustle, for instance.
Secondly, a well-tailored goal includes a realistic deadline and the necessary tools.
As such, your 3,200 dollar goal would also contain the following:
- to make these extra 200 dollars, I will give myself four to eight weeks; and
- I will use my blog and a few hours of overtime to achieve my target.
By setting realistic goals with an achievable deadline and defining the necessary steps, your perfectionism will lose steam.
You’ll know that the goal is possible, and you’ll have a road map. By focusing your energy and efforts on these realistic elements, you’ll cut the root of your perfectionist thoughts.
3. Learn to master the art of saying no
In our age of uber-connectivity, endless distractions, and constant pressure, saying no is an invaluable skill.
The art of saying no is also a perfectionism-crushing habit.
In the words of Inc Magazine,
“Perfectionists often struggle with saying no to new opportunities due to their high ambition, however, setting healthy boundaries is the very thing that leads to sustainable energy.”
Consequently, saying no is a powerful way to define personal boundaries. And these boundaries will help you concentrate your energy on the right endeavors.
In my early days as a freelance writer, I accepted every gig. I adhered to the unhealthy idea of “more is always better.” In other words, I believed that the “perfect” freelance writer doesn’t say no to new opportunities.
At some point, I realized that more writing assignments prevented me from intensifying my relationships with the best clients. Worse still, this perfectionist mentality drained my energy and negatively impacted the quality of my work.
Instead of being the “perfect” freelance writer who doesn’t say no, I now aspired to find clients that suit my personality and help my career progress.
This newly-found progress mindset led to Paretoing my clients and establishing better relationships. Better still, those improved connections would ultimately increase my total income.
4. Take your foot off the gas
Another powerful habit in the context of countering excessive perfectionism is to slow your life down.
People with perfectionist tendencies often fail to realize that they want too much too quickly.
As such, they try to work more hours, find more opportunities, and meet more people.
In most cases, however, the pace of their endeavors reduces quality.
By working more hours without focusing on the actual output, you become busy but not productive. Chasing every possible opportunity will lead to half-hearted assessments of the merits of those projects. And trying to meet every person in your field will spawn lots of fleeting connections, but nothing intense.
That’s where taking your foot off the gas comes to fruition.
Work fewer hours while identifying the habits that make those hours productive. Explore a few vital opportunities properly instead of trying to juggle too many balls at once. And finally, focus on building long-lasting connections with the right people.
Once you grasp the power of slow, mindful actions, you’ll stop having too many irons in the fire — a common perfectionist impulse.
5. Worship progress
Worshipping progress is the opposite of perfectionism.
By trying to become a little bit better every day, you acknowledge the inexistence of perfection. And this acknowledgment will help you plan for consistent improvement, not perfection
Because you know that you’re improving — but not perfect — perfectionist thoughts won’t impede your projects.
In this context, Forbes’ Tracy Bower explains:
“Getting an idea out there, and releasing a project when it is good enough — rather than perfect — is acceptable when you plan to review, iterate, and apply new thinking.”
Consequently, by keeping in your mind that you are progressing, applying new methods, and learning novel skills, you’ll stop worrying about perfection.
You’ll focus on improving your craft by practicing it, rather than beating yourself up because your current results aren’t “perfect.”
6. Ask better questions
Questions are potent perfectionism breakers.
Here’s how it works: every time you feel like you’re “not good enough” or “unfit” for a particular job, ask better questions.
As an example, replace “why do I suck at writing?” — a question that presumes an abstract set of flaws — with: “where does my writing have problems, and how can I tackle those?”
By questioning concrete and decisive elements of your shortcomings, you’ll analyze potential solutions instead of chasing impossible perfection.
7. Eliminate comparisons
Finally, one of the most effective ways to eliminate perfectionism is to stop comparing yourself to others.
As Iyanla Vanzant once said:
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.”
Everyone’s journeys are different. Nobody will have the exact same strengths, weaknesses, goals, and fears as you.
That’s why comparisons will only lead to negative perfectionism and excessive self-criticism.
Of course, finding inspiration in the deeds of others can help your mental drive, but falling into the comparison trap will have a negative impact.
To conclude, learn how to find a happy medium between inspirations that fuel your progress and comparisons that feed your perfectionism.