7 Habits of Extremely Insecure People

#4. Don’t speak up for themselves.

A decade ago I struggled with a certain type of insecurity - the inability to accept feedback. Being told I was wrong about an assignment or something I had said caused a sting of discomfort within.

I hated the feeling. It took a while, but eventually, I overcame it.

I also learned that insecurity never discriminates. It has a way of casting its shadow on the very best of us and infusing us with a shade that is difficult to whitewash.

Whether it’s models with gorgeous faces and figures, professionals with impressive resumes, or the leaders with the biggest personalities, we all struggle with insecurity in some way.

It's also difficult to discern insecurity because it never imprints itself on the forehead of its victim. It doesn’t say, “Hey, look at me! My name is insecurity, and I control this person’s life.”

However, it’s not impossible to figure out. These are the telltale habits of insecure people:

1. Are Trapped In A Loop of Fear

“Fear is an idea crippling, experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor inflicted only by yourself.” — Stephanie Melish

Whilst it’s normal and healthy to acknowledge the fears that lurk somewhere deep within us, it’s unhealthy to dwell, stew, or fixate on them.

And yet, this is precisely what insecure people do.

They spend a huge chunk of their lives fumbling in the dark, preoccupied with the fear of the present and the future, always on the lookout for the negative element in every situation.

By worrying about events and circumstances beyond their control, they only exacerbate their fears, and, in the end:

a) Give up too easily and

b) Fail to deliver on their full potential.

2. Shoot Themselves in The Foot, Again and Again

“Relationships fail when people take their own insecurities and project them as their partner’s flaws.” — Steve Maraboli

Once insecurity is ingrained in the fabric of one’s consciousness, it’s difficult to see themselves as worthy of happy and loving relationships. This is why they attract the opposite of confident and wholesome partners.

The insecure person is incapable of harnessing healthy relationships because the insecurity always festers like manure and toxifies the relationship.

The person then walks away from the relationship and plunges themselves in another one, but the same fate befalls the new relationship.

And the cycle continues.

3. Fixated On Perfectionism

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.’’ — Anne Lamott

The insecure person waits for the perfect moment before making a move in any aspect of their life. Everything has to be just right before launching a side gig, making an investment, or even asking a girl out on a date.

This wait for perfection not only freezes them but also makes them doubt themselves because they end up demanding more from themselves, far beyond what’s realistic.

This dissatisfaction then morphs into a shield and keeps them trapped in a life that’s less than ideal because they end up not taking any action at all.

4. Don’t Speak Up for Themselves

“Speak up for yourself. No one will stand up for you. Because fakeness might attack anytime and demolish the relationship you shared.” — Nikitha Parmar

Insecure people take injustices lying down. They bury pieces of themselves and drown their voices instead of speaking up or even throwing a punch.

They say nothing even when the promotion they were promised six months ago gets handed over to someone else — sometimes even less qualified. They think to themselves, “Why bother saying anything? I probably wouldn’t do a good job anyway.”

Failing to enforce their boundaries and speak up for themselves only hurts them in the long run and makes them a dumping site for everyone else.

5. Judge Themselves Too Harshly

The voices in their heads sound like this:

· “Am not good enough.”

· “Am not smart enough.”

· “Am not worthy.”

· “Am not capable.”

· “Am not lovable.”

. “ No one likes me.”

. “ I never do anything right.”

Perhaps to silence these voices, they need to hear Louise Hay:

“Remember you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise Hay

6. Showcase Their Accomplishments

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.” — Confucius

Real worth is found within. Unfortunately, many insecure people are unaware of this truth. This is why they attempt to build their worth by showcasing their wealth and material possessions.

But this fix is always short-lived. Over time, the glamour wears off and the insecurity starts to simmer all over again.

What do they do to combat this feeling? They borrow more money to buy additional stuff and eventually end up sinking in deep holes of debt just to prove a point.

7. Don’t Accept Feedback

“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” — Ken Blanchard

We all have little demons tucked away in the darkest crevices of our hearts. We deal with them by taking ownership and responsibility for our actions and accepting feedback from others.

However, for the insecure person, accepting feedback is hard, just like it was for me because they don’t perceive feedback as helpful and progressive but as judgmental and castigatory.

It's this inability to accept feedback that creates an impenetrable wall and prevents them from improving themselves and moving their lives forward.

In Conclusion

Insecurity doesn’t float on the surface because we’re often so deeply intertwined in the hustle and bustle of life and some of us are experts at concealing insecurities behind curated images and narratives on social media walls.

However, hiding behind the veil doesn’t free anyone from the distress of feeling insecure. It’s always lingering. What truly frees one from insecurity is owning up to their power as an individual and not what the society or childhood upbringing dictates.

This involves creating a new positive narrative about themselves. Let’s say a person feels unworthy. The way to change this is to cultivate friendships with people who see their worth.

Writing down one’s strengths also eliminates insecurity by creating change at a physical and psychological level. It not only raises awareness of the qualities and capabilities that the individual normally overlooks, but it also stirs up a certain degree of confidence.

And gradually, insecurity begins to fade into the background.

Mind Cafe’s Reset Your Mind: A Free 10-Day Email Course

We’re offering a free gift to all of our new subscribers as a thank you for your continued support. When you sign up using this link, we’ll send you tips on how to boost mental clarity and focus every two days.