7 Effective Nonverbal Strategies That Will Positively Change How People Look at You

Learn the body language rules that will help you succeed in life.

• Have you ever felt lost while communicating with a new person due to a stressful situation or simply by your own awkwardness and anxiety?
• Have you felt a nervous chill flow through your body that can’t focus on a conversation?
• Have your movements ever become so messy that you start to struggle with your own thoughts?
• Have these above situations ever filled you with a deep embarrassment, leading to fear and social withdrawal?

Self-confidence is the key to success in many areas of life but educating yourself requires time that you may not be able to afford at the moment.

So how can we effectively boost self-confidence and our image in the short term?

Body language.

Body language is a powerful force that, when used properly, can help you build stronger personal or professional relationships wherever you are. People will perceive you as a confident, determined person, even if you are not.

It is a game of appearances which directly involves those who you are trying to influence. Check out these quick strategies for mastering your body so that people only see the image you want them to see!

1. Face A Situation Just Like A Superhero Would

Wonder Woman is a well known superhero from comics and action movies.

However, have you noticed how her body is poised against adversity?

She often stands in a specific way: with her feet quite wide apart and with her hands on her hips. This body posture caught the attention of psychologist Amy Cuddy, a lecturer at Harvard Business School. The specific pose was discovered to exude confidence by increasing focus and creating calm. After 2 minutes of posing in this way, the level of cortisol (the stress hormone) would be lowered and the increase in testosterone would increase focus.

Try it out:

• Stand firmly.
• Distribute your weight over both feet (do not balance between one leg and the other).
• Straighten your back.
• Slightly lift your chin — not in a self-righteous manner.
• Look straight ahead.

By following this assertive posture, you will automatically gain more control over your body. You will be noticed as professional, self-aware, cooperative, and ready to take action.

There are, of course, negative body postures you should avoid:

• Transferring all your body weight to one leg can show that you are not a leader but a follower.
• When sitting during a discussion, the cross-legged position may look like a “professional position” but it actually increases stress. The weight of putting one leg on top of the other creates tension as it is not a natural physical position.
• Crossed feet can show insecurity or indecisiveness.
• Crossed arms can display an attitude of being threatened, being defensive, or being a non-agreeable type.

2. Getting Love Drunk Off Your Hump?

This is where we don’t want to take the advice of The Black Eyed Peas.

A person’s upright posture is the first step to show one’s confidence and courage to accept challenges. There may be times when you get so absorbed in a conversation or maybe even other body language practices that you just forget about your own tendency to slouch.

To avoid yourself from becoming the next Hunchback of Notre-Dame, follow this unconventional yet creative method:

• Find some muscle sports tape or kinesiology tape.
• Straighten your back.
• Pinch both shoulder blades together.
• Place a strip perpendicular to the spine and over the joined shoulder blades while your back is straightened.

The tape will hold and be a physical reminder to keep your posture straight, which in turn will present you as a person of confidence and dignity. No one will ever doubt that you are the right person for the situation at hand.

3. A Firm Hand Shows A Firm Mind

During official and formal greetings, the usual gesture in most cultures is to shake a person’s hand out of respect. The power you put into this can tell the other person a lot about you regarding your confidence and emotions.

There are two types of handshakes you want to avoid:

• The Limping Fish: if your hand is weak or slacking like a dangling dead fish, it will mean that you are introverted, of low self-esteem, disrespectful, and uninterested in building a key bond.
• The Smashing Hulk: if your hand is literally crushing the other person’s bones too tightly with an overtly strong grip, this can show too much aggression or negative overcompensation.

The success of the right handshake is to imagine that the person you meet is the most important person in your life at the moment. Put yourself in the internal mindset that you are bursting with joy by meeting them (even if the situation is actually the biggest nightmare of your day). Expose a strong, firm hand to greet the person and don’t be afraid to hold it for a moment around 3 seconds, while making direct contact into their eyes with a gentle but comforting smile.

Let your resolute handshake guarantee that the other person can trust in your positive attitude, willingness to talk, and responsible character.

4. Success Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

What do you think of when you hear the name James Bond?

The first few words that probably come to your mind are charming, sophisticated, and determined. His character in past movies was known to be mesmerizing and could capture a woman’s heart with just his eyes.

Making a connection with our eyes shows that we are giving the other person our full attention and interest. Of course, as in any case, moderation is the key to success. If you are just intensely gazing or staring at your counterpart, then you may create an awkward and precarious situation.

Try to maintain eye contact while listening and speaking but as naturally as possible. If it seems troublesome to constantly keep your focus on the other person’s eyes, then use the entire face of the person you are talking to. For example, you can set your eyesight specifically — it can be on one of their eyes and then smoothly focusing on the other eye. Or you can make it a point to set your eyes slightly above theirs between their eyebrows.

Remember that the opposite is also true. If you are looking around too much, then it could indicate boredom to the other person. Also, looking down to the floor can convey an attitude of defeat or submissiveness.

If you are able to keep your focus and maintain eyesight, you will radiate calmness, openness, and determination. In other words, the next James Bond.

5. “Slight” Of Hand

Sometimes our hands can do small habitual things that may give off the wrong impression.

It may sound strange, but did you know that we tend to touch our body when we feel threatened? It is also caused by a new situation where we may feel insecure or confused.

Playing with hair and constantly combing them behind the ears, rubbing the neck and ears, picking at nails, scratching oneself — the list goes on for what can indicate a nervous disposition. Most of us have such habits, so it’s worth remembering to keep your hands naturally on your lap and prevent such movements as much as possible.

While speaking, some people also tend to cover their mouth and rest their cheek on their thumb. While it may be due to one’s hard thought process, usually this action can portray uncertainty and insecurity to another person. So take precaution to speak clearly without covering your mouth.

Our hands are sometimes not even showing our true character by simply touching ourselves but perhaps even touching an object. Drumming your fingers on a desk, for example, can show a sense of anger, restlessness, or impatience. Try to avoid this so that you can show that you are listening and not lost in your own thoughts.

6. The Box and The Ball Method

No matter how much we may try to control them, hand gestures and movements can even get the best of the most prominent people in the world.

At the beginning of his political career, former United States President Bill Clinton made sudden, sweeping movements with his hands. It showed a lack of control so his advisers prompted him to imagine a box in front of him, at chest and stomach level, shoulder-width apart.

Clinton’s job was to move his hands only within the box. This way, he was viewed as more credible and trustworthy. This idea was called The Clinton Box.

Another trick was often used by the late Apple founder and visionary Steve Jobs as he never formally trained as a speaker or communicator. He would always gently rest his elbows to the side of his body and stretch out both hands in front as if he were either holding an invisible basketball or baseball when speaking. This type of position not only helped him focus on his words but also portrayed him as a confident CEO who was in control at his infamous keynote speeches.

7. Don’t Be Interesting — Be INTERESTED

Face it. People love to brag.

When we look honestly at the human condition, the majority of people want to give others a reputable image of who they are and what they represent. They want to show that they are interesting and worthy of recognition. Many people seek this attention. And most of the people you will interact with are wanting to bask in achievements and interests that are personally important to them.

Let’s set the scenario. You are at a dinner party and a long conversation about specific methods of orchid care is about to begin by an important person. Or maybe a passion for bee breeding is starting to fill your ear. While these topics may have no interest to you personally, politely listen to what they have to say. Even more so, show them interest by asking a question in line with the subject matter.

“You are in control of [the message] you are sending out,”

Barbara Pachter writes in her book The Essentials Of Business Etiquette.

“I believe that if you project a confident, credible, composed image, people will respond to you as if you are all those things. Who cares what you are feeling on the inside?”

If you want the person to be interested in you and give you an ounce of attention, you first need to make them feel understood and appreciated. By fully directing your focus to that person, you will make them bloom towards you. Thus, you gain control over the conversation, which will make you a confident and trusted person in their eyes.

By following these strategies and knowing that your body language can transmit signals that you can actually control, you will increase your chances of imprinting a strong and memorable impression on others, even if in reality you are just a shy, quiet person.

The body can do more than you can imagine.

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