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ving goals, especially when other people around us seem like they’re succeeding more than we are.</p><h2 id="793a">Symptoms of perfectionism include:</h2><ul><li>Having high expectations for oneself.</li><li>Putting too much pressure on oneself.</li><li>Setting unrealistic goals.</li><li>Taking years over projects because no matter how long it takes, work must always look immaculate.</li></ul><h2 id="94d5">The consequences</h2><p id="5904">This mindset is that people become stressed out, lose motivation since they’re often unsure if their work is good enough to achieve anything with it, and waste time on unnecessary tasks for them to look perfect when there’s no reason why it needs to be so thorough or long-lasting.</p><h2 id="a1b7">The Solution</h2><p id="af33">You can prevent these issues by speaking up at the right moments — whether you have an opinion about something being done wrong or disagreeing with a choice someone else has made, trying not to get too involved in other people’s business unless invited otherwise.</p><p id="9504">In addition, take some time for yourself every day (even if only 15 minutes) where you do nothing but relax without distractions like technology nearby.</p><h1 id="1d82">4. Victimhood Mentality</h1><p id="8235">This mindset involves the sense of entitlement people have when they feel like other people are always to blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives.</p><h2 id="ca35">The Cause</h2><p id="0b37">This can happen, especially if someone has experienced something traumatic and it’s led them down this route — such as having a bad break-up or getting fired from work, etc.</p><p id="aeea">You may often think along these lines because you’re constantly searching for reasons why negative things happened even though there wasn’t necessarily anything you could do about them.</p><p id="50ad">Some circumstances might be out of your control due to timing issues with outside forces (like not finding love during specific points in life), but this type of thinking will still make you believe otherwise since no one wants to face reality at times like this.</p><h2 id="c412">Symptoms include:</h2><ul><li>Feeling depressed — especially when something goes wrong.</li><li>Putting yourself down because you feel like it’s your fault for everything that happened.</li><li>Always seeing the negative side of things and getting upset about every little something.</li></ul><h2 id="62f0">The consequences</h2><p id="d88d">This mindset is that people will often end up stuck in a rut since they’ve given up on trying to make changes to improve their own lives, depression (and other mental health issues) gets worse due to stress brought upon by these thoughts.</p><p id="8c45">Anger may get directed towards others who “don’t get what you’re going through,” becoming more self-destructive with habits like smoking or drinking too much alcohol, etc., and eventually not caring anymore whether life continues.</p><h2 id="cc22">The Solution</h2><p id="e193">You can help prevent these circumstances by staying away from toxic relationships where someone might be taking advantage of your feelings for them.</p><p id="f6bc">Learning how to be alone with yourself and spending time doing things that make you feel good about yourself, even if it’s something small like going out with a friend or considering searching for help from a professional — or whatever keeps you positive instead of in a state of depression.</p><h1 id="5f61">5. A Mindset Lacking Self-Worth</h1><p id="62fb">People who have this mindset lack their own self-worth because they’re constantly comparing themselves to others based on how much money they earn, the type of car they drive, what kind of house they live in or where someone went to school.</p><h2 id="6e4b">The Cause</h2><p id="7e54">This is especially common with people who are struggling financially and feel like there’s some sense of prestige that comes along with having more than enough wealth so you can do anything you want at any time without feeling limited by your budget.</p><h2 id="925c">Symptoms include:</h2><ul><li>Envying other people for things that probably won’t make them happy later on down the road; always wanting more even if it means taking out loans or spending an outrageous amount each month just for a new luxury item.</li><li>Not being satisfied until everything looks perfect — this includes having the ideal home or job, etc.; constantly thinking about people who are better off than you financially.</li><li>Feeling insecure when someone brings up something that makes them seem more successful in life than your accomplishments have been lately.</li></ul><h2 id="4fa1">The consequences</h2><p id="65d9">This mindset involves financial instability. These thoughts lead to reckless spending habits and not being able to stick with a budget, which can eventually lead to bankruptcy if debts keep piling on top of each other without any way for them to be paid back in full.</p><p id="d16c">Other adverse side effects include never feeling good enough — even if money isn’t an issue anymore, the constant drama surrounding friends or family members because they’re trying too hard just so they won’t feel inferior next time around, losing track of priorities in life because you’re too caught up with trying to “keep up”.</p><p id="c86c">Eventually putting yourself in a position where you’ll

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never be happy because someone somewhere will always have something more than what you do.</p><h1 id="171e">6. Fearful Mindset</h1><p id="72e2">This mindset involves constantly anticipating the worst possible outcome when it comes down to making decisions since this is typically how things go for people who are stuck in their own fears.</p><p id="c165">This restricts them from doing anything new or different — they assume that if they fail, then no one will like them anymore (or they’ll end up broke like before) so why even try?</p><h2 id="114c">Symptoms include:</h2><ul><li>Not wanting to take any risks.</li><li>Sticking with familiar situations instead of venturing out into unknown territory.</li><li>Assuming negative feelings whenever there’s some sort of conflict or disagreement that might arise, even if it’s just with family members.</li><li>Putting yourself down constantly — this can include telling someone you’re not good enough for them or believing your best attempts at something will never be as good as what others are doing.</li></ul><h2 id="d6f7">The consequences</h2><p id="b9b0">Having a mindset like this one includes constantly feeling stuck in the same place without any sort of forwarding momentum to push towards bigger and better things (unless they happen by accident).</p><p id="5456">These types usually don’t have many friends because no one wants to put up with their pessimistic view on life, which also means there isn’t much support when times get tough.</p><p id="3266">It becomes increasingly difficult for these people to achieve anything worthwhile since nothing ever seems like it’ll work out in the end anyway, so why bother.</p><h1 id="56d1">7. A Mindset of Over-Dependence on Others</h1><p id="2cdf">This mindset is all about being comfortable enough with being so reliant on other people that you never bother to try and do anything for yourself because if it wasn’t meant to be, then someone would have stepped in already, right?</p><h2 id="22b9">Symptoms include:</h2><ul><li>Always letting friends or family members take control over your decisions because they know better than what you could come up with;</li><li>Not having the confidence necessary to make some sort of choice without asking for advice first (whether this takes place online or face-to-face);</li><li>Feeling lost whenever there isn’t anyone around who can tell you what’s going on;</li><li>Getting bored quickly when doing things by yourself — even if those activities turn out to be fun at first, they’ll eventually lose their appeal once you’ve managed to get through them on your own.</li></ul><h2 id="6934">The consequences</h2><p id="f4a7">Having a mindset like this one is that these people never feel content with what’s going on in life since there’s always someone else who is supposed to take care of it — even if all the direction given by others doesn’t seem helpful at first.</p><p id="9b8b">It can be difficult for those who depend too much on other people (whether online or offline) because they don’t ever want to go against whatever has been suggested previously and sometimes end up feeling stuck when trying to figure out which path should be taken next.</p><p id="ee64">A positive aspect about putting yourself into this type of situation would simply involve not worrying anymore whether something will work out or not since someone else will always be there to take care of it.</p><blockquote id="e06a"><p>“Mind is a flexible mirror, adjust it, to see a better world.” ― <b>Amit Ray, <a href="https://amzn.to/3km1Viw">Mindfulness Living in the Moment — Living in the Breath</a></b></p></blockquote><div id="b179" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/fixed-vs-growth-mindset-4dd2c572fd65"> <div> <div> <h2>Fixed Vs. Growth Mindset</h2> <div><h3>The two sides of the coin — find out which side is controlling you</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*KgUbwl2CDBh_gpj1i01eEQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h1 id="136e">Final Thoughts</h1><p id="f365">Having a mindset that is comprised of any one or all of the characteristics mentioned above can be detrimental in many ways.</p><p id="eb2d">It’s essential to figure out which situations you’re likely to encounter and what types of things may help you get through them instead.</p><p id="5c97">By realizing these destructive mindsets exist within your life, the hope is that the next step will be figuring out what changes need to take place to live a better life.</p><p id="ba33">Thanks for reading! If you haven’t joined Medium but would love to,<b> <a href="https://medium.com/@John_Cooper/membership">click here</a>. </b>By signing up for Medium through my referral link, I will receive a small commission. This article includes affiliate links as well.</p><p id="07ca"><a href="https://implementationofwisdom.com/7-destructive-mindsets/"><i>Originally published at <b>implementationofwisdom.com</b></i></a></p><p id="9f0e"><i>This content was not created to be a substitute for professional guidance, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a professional or a mental health specialist.</i></p></article></body>

7 Destructive Mindsets that Ruin Relationships & Lives

I wish I avoided them sooner.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

We all have destructive mindsets sometimes in our lives that can negatively impact our lives and relationships. It’s important to recognize these and change them, so we don’t live a harmful lifestyle.

It’s no secret that there are many destructive mindsets. In this blog post, we will discuss these seven most common destructive mindsets and how you can change them for the better.

Contents

  1. Entitlement Mindset
  2. Superiority Mindset
  3. Perfectionist Mindset
  4. Victimhood Mentality
  5. A mindset lacking self-worth
  6. Fearful Mindset
  7. A Mindset of Over-Dependence on Others

“Happiness depends on your mindset and attitude.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

1. Entitlement Mindset

This is a mindset that involves the belief that you’ve been given everything in life and should therefore get whatever it is you want or need without working for it.

The Cause

This often results from being spoiled as a child, which then carries into adulthood, where people don’t have to work for what they earn because their parents provided so much while growing up.

In addition, the entitlement mindset may result from having easy lives or “easy” jobs.

This is because when you struggle, your character strengthens, and it’s easier to appreciate what you have rather than expect everything should just be given to you.

The Solution:

If this sounds like something that describes yourself. In that case, there are a few things you can do to change the way of thinking:

Start working hard for what you want in life so that whatever it is — whether big or small — means more to you; limit social media time since many people exaggerate their lifestyles on platforms such as Instagram.

Look at the positives around every situation instead of focusing on all negatives; consider gratitude lists where people write down three positive things they experienced each day.

These are only some suggestions but hopefully, give you an idea on how to change the way of thinking.

2. Superiority Mindset

This mindset involves arrogance, where people believe they are better than others for no reason other than being or believing themselves to be superior in some shape or form.

The Cause

This often stems from low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in oneself, so, therefore, attempting to boost these by putting down those who seem weaker/less intelligent.

Furthermore, this could come about when someone has been told all their life that they’re “better” at something — whether it’s because parents have repeatedly said so much throughout childhood or due to winning competitions as adults.

In either case, though, constant praise almost always causes issues with the image since there will inevitably be someone better than them at it.

The consequences

This mindset can result in negative consequences such as a lack of empathy, being envious and arrogant towards those around us, and the constant need for external validation from others to boost our self-esteem.

People suffering from this type of mindset also tend to look down on others and treat them poorly in an attempt to “make themselves feel better,” even in situations where they know it’s wrong and will hurt others.

If you recognize any of these signs when it comes to yourself, a few things can be done: take some time out for self-reflection; consider keeping a gratitude journal since this forces people to look at the positives instead of all negatives.

The Solution

Practice humility by letting other people speak first or allowing them to go before you during a conversation without interrupting; make an effort with your appearance so that you’re always looking well put together and presentable — no matter the situation.

The idea is that we need to work on our own confidence and show respect towards those around us who may seem less advanced than ourselves.

3. Perfectionist Mindset

This mindset involves the belief that everything you do has to be perfect, or else it’s not worth doing at all.

The Cause

You may often think this way since perfectionism is usually taught by parents who constantly tell their children, “If you don’t do things right, then what’s the point?”

This thought pattern continues through adulthood and can involve relationships — whether personal or professional — where people become obsessive about achieving goals, especially when other people around us seem like they’re succeeding more than we are.

Symptoms of perfectionism include:

  • Having high expectations for oneself.
  • Putting too much pressure on oneself.
  • Setting unrealistic goals.
  • Taking years over projects because no matter how long it takes, work must always look immaculate.

The consequences

This mindset is that people become stressed out, lose motivation since they’re often unsure if their work is good enough to achieve anything with it, and waste time on unnecessary tasks for them to look perfect when there’s no reason why it needs to be so thorough or long-lasting.

The Solution

You can prevent these issues by speaking up at the right moments — whether you have an opinion about something being done wrong or disagreeing with a choice someone else has made, trying not to get too involved in other people’s business unless invited otherwise.

In addition, take some time for yourself every day (even if only 15 minutes) where you do nothing but relax without distractions like technology nearby.

4. Victimhood Mentality

This mindset involves the sense of entitlement people have when they feel like other people are always to blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives.

The Cause

This can happen, especially if someone has experienced something traumatic and it’s led them down this route — such as having a bad break-up or getting fired from work, etc.

You may often think along these lines because you’re constantly searching for reasons why negative things happened even though there wasn’t necessarily anything you could do about them.

Some circumstances might be out of your control due to timing issues with outside forces (like not finding love during specific points in life), but this type of thinking will still make you believe otherwise since no one wants to face reality at times like this.

Symptoms include:

  • Feeling depressed — especially when something goes wrong.
  • Putting yourself down because you feel like it’s your fault for everything that happened.
  • Always seeing the negative side of things and getting upset about every little something.

The consequences

This mindset is that people will often end up stuck in a rut since they’ve given up on trying to make changes to improve their own lives, depression (and other mental health issues) gets worse due to stress brought upon by these thoughts.

Anger may get directed towards others who “don’t get what you’re going through,” becoming more self-destructive with habits like smoking or drinking too much alcohol, etc., and eventually not caring anymore whether life continues.

The Solution

You can help prevent these circumstances by staying away from toxic relationships where someone might be taking advantage of your feelings for them.

Learning how to be alone with yourself and spending time doing things that make you feel good about yourself, even if it’s something small like going out with a friend or considering searching for help from a professional — or whatever keeps you positive instead of in a state of depression.

5. A Mindset Lacking Self-Worth

People who have this mindset lack their own self-worth because they’re constantly comparing themselves to others based on how much money they earn, the type of car they drive, what kind of house they live in or where someone went to school.

The Cause

This is especially common with people who are struggling financially and feel like there’s some sense of prestige that comes along with having more than enough wealth so you can do anything you want at any time without feeling limited by your budget.

Symptoms include:

  • Envying other people for things that probably won’t make them happy later on down the road; always wanting more even if it means taking out loans or spending an outrageous amount each month just for a new luxury item.
  • Not being satisfied until everything looks perfect — this includes having the ideal home or job, etc.; constantly thinking about people who are better off than you financially.
  • Feeling insecure when someone brings up something that makes them seem more successful in life than your accomplishments have been lately.

The consequences

This mindset involves financial instability. These thoughts lead to reckless spending habits and not being able to stick with a budget, which can eventually lead to bankruptcy if debts keep piling on top of each other without any way for them to be paid back in full.

Other adverse side effects include never feeling good enough — even if money isn’t an issue anymore, the constant drama surrounding friends or family members because they’re trying too hard just so they won’t feel inferior next time around, losing track of priorities in life because you’re too caught up with trying to “keep up”.

Eventually putting yourself in a position where you’ll never be happy because someone somewhere will always have something more than what you do.

6. Fearful Mindset

This mindset involves constantly anticipating the worst possible outcome when it comes down to making decisions since this is typically how things go for people who are stuck in their own fears.

This restricts them from doing anything new or different — they assume that if they fail, then no one will like them anymore (or they’ll end up broke like before) so why even try?

Symptoms include:

  • Not wanting to take any risks.
  • Sticking with familiar situations instead of venturing out into unknown territory.
  • Assuming negative feelings whenever there’s some sort of conflict or disagreement that might arise, even if it’s just with family members.
  • Putting yourself down constantly — this can include telling someone you’re not good enough for them or believing your best attempts at something will never be as good as what others are doing.

The consequences

Having a mindset like this one includes constantly feeling stuck in the same place without any sort of forwarding momentum to push towards bigger and better things (unless they happen by accident).

These types usually don’t have many friends because no one wants to put up with their pessimistic view on life, which also means there isn’t much support when times get tough.

It becomes increasingly difficult for these people to achieve anything worthwhile since nothing ever seems like it’ll work out in the end anyway, so why bother.

7. A Mindset of Over-Dependence on Others

This mindset is all about being comfortable enough with being so reliant on other people that you never bother to try and do anything for yourself because if it wasn’t meant to be, then someone would have stepped in already, right?

Symptoms include:

  • Always letting friends or family members take control over your decisions because they know better than what you could come up with;
  • Not having the confidence necessary to make some sort of choice without asking for advice first (whether this takes place online or face-to-face);
  • Feeling lost whenever there isn’t anyone around who can tell you what’s going on;
  • Getting bored quickly when doing things by yourself — even if those activities turn out to be fun at first, they’ll eventually lose their appeal once you’ve managed to get through them on your own.

The consequences

Having a mindset like this one is that these people never feel content with what’s going on in life since there’s always someone else who is supposed to take care of it — even if all the direction given by others doesn’t seem helpful at first.

It can be difficult for those who depend too much on other people (whether online or offline) because they don’t ever want to go against whatever has been suggested previously and sometimes end up feeling stuck when trying to figure out which path should be taken next.

A positive aspect about putting yourself into this type of situation would simply involve not worrying anymore whether something will work out or not since someone else will always be there to take care of it.

“Mind is a flexible mirror, adjust it, to see a better world.” ― Amit Ray, Mindfulness Living in the Moment — Living in the Breath

Final Thoughts

Having a mindset that is comprised of any one or all of the characteristics mentioned above can be detrimental in many ways.

It’s essential to figure out which situations you’re likely to encounter and what types of things may help you get through them instead.

By realizing these destructive mindsets exist within your life, the hope is that the next step will be figuring out what changes need to take place to live a better life.

Thanks for reading! If you haven’t joined Medium but would love to, click here. By signing up for Medium through my referral link, I will receive a small commission. This article includes affiliate links as well.

Originally published at implementationofwisdom.com

This content was not created to be a substitute for professional guidance, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a professional or a mental health specialist.

Mindset
Mental Health
Relationships
Life
Friendship
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