7 Things You Do That Don’t Matter That Will Ruin Your Life Quietly

Illuminate the areas of life that are hidden in plain sight but missed by so many daily.

Every day you must unlearn the ways that hold you back. You must rid yourself of negativity, so you can learn to fly. — Leon Brown

We only have one life and though the days may seem like they go slow, the years go by fast.

Life is going on right now and if we aren’t connected to it, it will happen right in front of us. Be in the moment and get plugged in.

If you’re not careful this world can suck you in to place that can make you unproductive and possibly even depressed.

Focus on the right things. Only you can really determine what those are for you at the particular season of life.

Try different things, even when you think that might not work. Its good to mix things up but always be mindful of the things that don’t align with your true self or your long term goals.

If you’re not careful you could fall prey to some of life’s pitfalls that will slowly and quietly ruin your life.

1. Trying to be right all the time

“Nothing so obstinately stands in the way of all sorts of progress as pride of opinion. While nothing is so foolish and baseless.” — J. G. Holland

There’s no way you can always be right, even when you think you are and can justify every action. I know because I’ve been there. Still am. I at times, honestly feel every action, every comment is on point but the results often don’t fall in my favor.

That may resonate with you. And It’s probably a good sign you’re not in the right place (whether thats referring to your job or mindset). You may not be able to change what’s needed at the moment but you can add grace.

Being right all the time over time can begin to make an environment toxic. Adding grace to the situation or conversation is a great way to soothe any toxicity that may arise.

Even when you know your right, don’t rush to it and find ways to add grace to the situation.

• Listen better
• Consider a new perspective
• Add more grace to the situation

2. Being worried about things you can’t control

“If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.” — E. Joseph Cossman

Stress is normal and small amounts can be very positive but when it starts to consume you then it’s time to recheck your priorities.

Procrastination is a blessing for some and a curse for others but over worrying about stuff doesn’t add benefit. What you need to do is figure out what can get you into that flow state of quality work without having to rely last minute deadlines.

Some tasks just need to get done. Once done, let it ride and move on to the next priority.

• Worry can quickly progress to anxiety, which if left unchecked can posibbly create a number of health related issues
• Focus on the little things you can control
• Relish in the unknown as this life is an adventure

3. Checking your phone for no reason

“How terrible would it be if I didn’t read the text right away?” “How terrible would it be if I looked at all the texts or emails in an hour, or in two hours, or at the end of the day?” — Sharon Begley

Are you a slave to your phone? Well, do you instantly check it every time it dings? (Kinda reminds me of Pavlov’s dogs.)

A July 2015 Gallup poll (link is external)of 15,747 adult smartphone users found that half check their phone a few times an hour (41%) or every few minutes (11%).

When they examined 18 to 29 year-old smartphone owners, those figures increased to 51% checking a few times an hour and 22% checking every few minutes.

Don’t miss out on life that is going on right in front of you; odds are you ARE in the exact place you need to be right now. Don’t over worry about what’s going on elsewhere.

• Relax and be in the place you are
• Find a new hobby (maybe even make a business out of it)
• Set BIGGER goals

4. Being easily annoyed

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” — Barbara De Angelis

If you get to a point where you (or someone else) noticed yourself getting easily annoyed or irritated at even little stuff, it’s to check yourself.

For many, if you’re hungry, tired, or even alone too long, you might find your self becoming more easily irritated. When that happens it’s time to take corrective actions.

Stay in control so you can find the real raw emotion hiding behind the outburst and take the corrections actions to get your life back into balance.

• Find the root causes and learn to let go
• Learn the art of meditation
• Turn that emotion into motivation

5. Always trying to get more

“Contentment is the greatest form of wealth.” — Acharya Nagarjuna

I think everyone goes through these seasons of aggressiveness toward the hustle. I know I have. And, to be honest, when I push too hard my results are not as great as when I hustle from a state of flow and balance.

It’s like running. There’s a sweet spot that is just a little faster than what you think you can do but when you find it, you’ll actually be running faster more efficiently and with less effort.

Find your sweet spot in life, in your hustle, and in your heart. Focus on the why’s and find contentment in the here and now.

• Become aware of the motives
• Set boundaries and practice self-discipline
• Contentment will never leave you empty like chasing greed will (ex. after you work and get that next shiny object, you still seem to fell a little empty after the novelty wears off and you’re on to the next.)

6. Being too introverted

Often, the most extraordinary opportunities are hidden among the seemingly insignificant events of life. If we do not pay attention to these events, we can easily miss the opportunities. — Jim Rohn

Neither extroverts nor introverts are better than the other. Personalty types are a gift but seek out where the fear lines lay. You probably have traits in both categories anyway!

My only concern for this is from being overly introverted. I moved to a new town and didn’t make any new acquaintances for a full year. As I look back now, I often wonder what my life my could’ve looked like if I took advantage of that lost year.

Being introverted is not bad. Just don’t let it consume you and limit your possibilities out of fear.

Regardless of where you are, don’t feel discouraged and hopeless about who you are. Own it and always focus on growth.

• Be a selective introvert and seek discernment in situations where you might need a little extra courage to step up
• Build up your self-image and self-worth
• push yourself for the sake of growth not because this is a bad trait

7. Being a people pleaser

“I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” — Ed Sheeran

Helping others is great and often comes with a rewarding feeling of satisfaction. However, relook at your tendencies and determine if you are doing things out of love and a genuine heart.

Also, assess the heart of the person you are doing something for. This is difficult but can often be figured out with a measure of quantity.

How often are the asking things from you? And is your first thought, “It’s just easier to do it and not have to deal with the situation” (often heard from a spouse followed by the excuse, “but I have to live with this person”).

Just remember to keep an eye on your attitudes and make sure the people pleasing traits don’t get out of hand. Keep your life in balance.

• Consider if you’re being manipulate and set boundaries
• Don’t forget to reward yourself
• You can’t please even one person all of the time, so learn to live with a little negativity at first but resetting those expectations will mostly likely change the situation for the better in no time.

Wrapping up

You are an individual. So do you.

Don’t worry about the stuff you can’t change or too much of the stuff that’s going around where you are not.

Begin accepting what you can’t change (and who you can’t change) are important and humbling lessons for everyone.

Get going after your goals while having gracious heart for what you do have. Then when negative arises (and it will) let it fall like water off a ducks back.

Next Steps

• Check yourself
• Get feedback from people you trust
• Find your blindspots
• Become focused
• Bonus: Consider creating a personal mantra

Remember, regardless of what season you are in, every season can be your season of growth.

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