Short Fiction, Micro Monday

A Day in the Life of a thirty-year-old Virgin

I thought I must have got it wrong, after all, why would a cute redhead like her, flirt with me?

When I say I am still a virgin, I mean I’ve only ever climaxed alone. The most intimate I’ve been with another person has been making-out — which consisted of a bit of a kiss and a grope when I was eighteen. I’ve never given or received oral or been lucky enough to be gifted a hand job from anyone other than myself. I think you get the picture!

At nineteen, I got glandular fever and that ruled my life for the next couple of years. Whenever I thought I was better, it would return. In the end I lost my job, social life, friends and as a result — my confidence.

Last year, I was approaching my thirtieth birthday and decided the best thing to do would be to find a job in a different town and start a-fresh. My mum was sad to see me go, but I was known as a mummy’s boy, and that is not conducive to pulling a babe.

I landed a job as a farm hand in Cumbria, starting three months ago, and would you believe that elusive first shag has been right on my doorstep? Under my nose, for a good few weeks now — here in the village.

This chick fastened onto me whilst I was waiting for a Chinese takeaway. She couldn’t have been more blatant. I had just moved to the area, and I kinda wasn’t interested. Well, to be honest I thought I must have got it wrong, after all, why would a cute redhead flirt with me? So grouchily, I just batted her away.

But I kept catching sight of her ginger locks when out and about. I was a little unnerved, never sure how to react. Sometimes I simply blanked her and at others stopped and had an awkward conversation, my body language closed. However, her body language was very open, indeed, her eyes lit up whenever she saw me. All the signs were pointing to the fact that if I gave her even a modicum of encouragement, she would be all over me like a cheap suit.

Anyway, I was in my local shop tonight, and up she popped. I was a little less gruff, less awkward, and she started talking. To be honest at first I wasn’t really listening, anxiety took over, but I offered her a lift to wherever she was going, and she didn’t hesitate. Then in the car, she nodded her head approvingly as loud, grungy, rock music roared from the stereo; although she was slightly unnerved by my aggressive, bravado, driving. I dropped her off and without me even asking, she gave me her number straight off...

Guess it’s up to me now.

I could blast the monkey on my back into outer space if I decided to light the touch paper. I expect there would be a few minutes of initial apprehension from me, but I think that would soon dissipate, and the hot redhead might get more than she bargained for. There are 15 years of sexual rage waiting to come out.

Things are looking up!

I rock… and I probably won’t even have to ask nicely — if at all.

But just to recap, at this present time I am thirty years old and still a virgin. Yet my mind — and hand — are keeping busy knowing that is all about to end…

May More Read more of my — A Day in the Life — Stories…

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