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Abstract

ell me it’s not fake news. I am so sick of that term!</p><p id="16e6">I’m confused. Was there a rock I was supposed to look under? An underground cavern? Do any of you have a tan?</p><p id="9749">I think not.</p><p id="a188">The twenty of you faithful followers, I applaud your suntanned faces and earnest dedication. You (sorry!) are abnormalities.</p><p id="3093">I have fished all my life. Now I find myself dipping my pole into a dead sea. What, do you, 59,999,980 readers, want as bait?</p><p id="62d7">Is it sex? Drama? Relationships? I can give it to you! Sheesh! Just tell me!</p><p id="7d28">A cavernous echo says, “Tech! Tech! Tech!”</p><p id="8fd1">Sigh … certainly there is something else you want, right? I’m not good at tech.</p><p id="3245">Coding? That to me, means hand signals and wild facial expressions.</p><p id="5471">But I’m great at charades. Practically a master!</p><p id="67f7">No? You’re into Hide and Seek? I love the game!</p><p id="3d7e">I tried to lure you out … begged for trolls … counted to twenty. Come out, come out, wherever you are!</p><p id="b5d0">I think you’re elusive, beguiling creatures set out to torment wri

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ters and give them the hope of a green circle, claps and comments. Twisted, devious souls!</p><p id="30fb">Did I tell you I’m related to a psychic? A magician? And a detective?</p><p id="b446">Do I need to hire my cousin to find you?</p><p id="5753">I will, ya know … you might not like it. He’ll find you in the deep recesses of this universe and find out why you are paying $5.00/month and not reading.</p><p id="0e4c">If you actually read this, thank you! You are the .001 percenters! Many thanks! Want to really make my day? Try this one:</p><div id="3ba3" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-do-i-have-to-do-to-get-a-troll-around-here-1cc42b71ecd6"> <div> <div> <h2>What Do I Have to Do to Get a Troll Around Here?</h2> <div><h3>I’m Getting Discouraged</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*Jj_LgpvwpPNPLsuH)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

60 Million Readers On Medium? Oh, Whatever!

What’s a girl gotta do?

I’ve been a writer, plying my trade for over fifteen years. I’ve been published in several literary magazines. My short stories have been up for awards. My work has been in major presses. Admittedly, I am not pop-culture or tech-savvy. I have diligently padded my resume and relied on my writing to speak for itself … certainly I would be “discovered”.

Hesitantly, I joined Medium. I spent over fifty hours in a week learning the ropes that entailed hair-pulling, Dorito-devouring and a ton of moans and sighs.

Sixty million readers?

Hell, yeah! It was supposed to be worth it.

Where are you all?

Please tell me it’s not fake news. I am so sick of that term!

I’m confused. Was there a rock I was supposed to look under? An underground cavern? Do any of you have a tan?

I think not.

The twenty of you faithful followers, I applaud your suntanned faces and earnest dedication. You (sorry!) are abnormalities.

I have fished all my life. Now I find myself dipping my pole into a dead sea. What, do you, 59,999,980 readers, want as bait?

Is it sex? Drama? Relationships? I can give it to you! Sheesh! Just tell me!

A cavernous echo says, “Tech! Tech! Tech!”

Sigh … certainly there is something else you want, right? I’m not good at tech.

Coding? That to me, means hand signals and wild facial expressions.

But I’m great at charades. Practically a master!

No? You’re into Hide and Seek? I love the game!

I tried to lure you out … begged for trolls … counted to twenty. Come out, come out, wherever you are!

I think you’re elusive, beguiling creatures set out to torment writers and give them the hope of a green circle, claps and comments. Twisted, devious souls!

Did I tell you I’m related to a psychic? A magician? And a detective?

Do I need to hire my cousin to find you?

I will, ya know … you might not like it. He’ll find you in the deep recesses of this universe and find out why you are paying $5.00/month and not reading.

If you actually read this, thank you! You are the .001 percenters! Many thanks! Want to really make my day? Try this one:

What Do I Have to Do to Get a Troll Around Here?

I’m Getting Discouraged

medium.com