6 Truths About Life You Probably Already Know

Why read? Because I’d bet my bottom dollar you need reminding

Dr. Seuss said:

“Sometimes the questions are complicated, and the answers are simple.”

And I wish the legendary writer was alive today, so I could ask him about those “simple answers.”

Because the reality is life is a category five tornado for most of us, and not only do we not have the answers we’re seeking, we don’t even have time to truly think about the questions.

And this is where the problem lies.

For instance, we know we’re unhappy, but we don’t know why.

We know our relationships are suffering, but we don’t know why.

We know our lives are not what we want them to be, but we don’t know why.

And if you’re hoping I can give you the “why,” I’m sorry to let you down.

Each of our lives is a maze, and nobody’s maze looks the same.

But what I can do is give you six fundamental truths that underlie all those complicated troubles you’re facing. And I genuinely believe somewhere in these statements, you’ll find a lot of valuable information on the reasons your life is not as fulfilling as you want it to be.

Truth one: Human interaction is everything.

Everything. Everything. Everything.

And yes, I’m talking about interactions with your lover. But really, I’m talking about all relationships. Family relationships. On-the-job relationships. Relationships with friends and relationships with strangers.

Every person you interact with has needs to be met, fears that haunt them, and desires they want to fulfill. And ninety-nine percent of the time, it costs you zero work to help with one of those things.

How do you start?

You try to see, really see, everyone you meet or come into contact with.

The old lady in the grocery store who wants to talk about which brand of chicken noodle soup you should buy? She’s probably lonely and desperate for conversation. Give her three minutes of your time and act interested. You may be the only person she speaks to that day.

The new co-worker sitting at their desk popping three Advil to kill their migraine? They’re probably stressed and overwhelmed. Ask them if they’re okay. Then, offer to grab them a snack or soda at the office vending machine.

The person who washes your car for twenty dollars in the drive-through when it’s ninety degrees outside? Tell them you admire them for being able to endure the heat. You may help “lower the temperature” for that person ten degrees just because you noticed their hard work.

Your lover who comes home and lashes out? Don’t lash back. Something has caused this emotional response. Ask them what’s wrong and try to lessen their burdens by sitting down and talking.

And when you create these positive, often effortless interactions with others, the wonderful thing is that the beauty comes back to you.

You feel important. You feel a sense of pride and joy that comes from contributing in some small way towards eliminating some of the anger, hate, and sadness that fills our world.

You begin to understand that filling someone else’s emotional gas tank often fills up your tank as well.

Truth two: You have physical and emotional limits.

We often get overwhelmed in our busy lives. Chaos is the music we dance to, and we continue to do so even when our legs feel like anchors and our feet are bleeding and bruised.

And how do we react to this fatigue and stress?

We do what everyone in our “go-getter” society recommends.

Take a deep breath, drink three cups of coffee, and tell ourselves not to be crybabies.

Oh, yes, and hustle. We must hustle.

And not only must we hustle, but we must also have “side hustles.”

Even if we’re already hustling by working fifteen hours overtime to feed our families.

Even if we’re already hustling taking care of three children who demand almost all our free time.

Even if we’re already hustling attending college and working a full-time job at the same time.

The truth is your body and mind can only handle so much.

Your emotions? They can’t always be suppressed.

Your fatigue? It can’t always be conquered by Starbucks and candy bars.

You’re a human — not a machine.

And trying to push past the limits of what a human being can handle actually stops you from achieving happiness and success.

So stop. Take a hot bath. Drink the glass of wine. Watch the shallow tv. Say “no” to things that sap the lifeblood out of your physical and mental health.

Then, when you feel rested, get back to work.

But if you ignore the times when body and mind are screaming for a break, you’re courting unhappiness, burnout, and potentially dangerous health issues.

So listen to the limits. That brick wall you’re facing is there for a reason. Don’t press on the gas when you should be braking.

Truth three: Money will not bring you happiness.

It will bring you nice cars. It will help you build a house people stare at in envy. It will allow you to buy name-brand clothes and pay for your child’s entire college tuition.

But it will not make you whole. And your kid whose college you funded? They’ll be deeply grateful.

But they’ll secretly wish you’d spent that time coming home at six instead of midnight to eat dinner with them.

For most of our lives, we slave away to get somewhere that’s supposed to make us look worthy in the world’s eyes.

And when we sit at our desks at the end of our sixty-hour work week, we’re pleased to see the dollars signs adding up.

I mean, we’re doing it, right?

Finally, we’re making our dreams come true and getting closer to acquiring the possessions that will supposedly make us happy.

So why is it we look at the free-spirited beach bum and envy them for their ability to only need the sun and the waves to make them happy?

Why is it we look at families playing in the park and married couples swinging on the porch and feel a pang of longing?

We feel this way because these people have something money won’t buy.

Peace.

And maybe you’re one of the talented few who can have the money and the moments. Perhaps you can rack up the cash and still walk blissfully on the beach, play at the park with your children, and rock on the deck swing with the person you love most in the world.

But for most of us, it’s a trade-off. It’s a decision to sacrifice one thing in the pursuit of something else we feel is more important.

Example.

Over my summer break as a teacher, the world was my oyster. I could make money writing and still spend time with my children, so I created a ritual called “fire time.” Every evening my children and I would light our cheap gas fire pit, rock in the rocking chairs on the porch, and just “connect.”

It was magical.

But now that school has started back, I come home exhausted. I have to work a forty-hour workweek and still find time to write. Today, I’m sitting at my computer, and my nineteen-year-old just finished a full day of online college classes. He tells me he’s going to take a nap but asks me to wake him up at six so that we can have “fire time” before he studies.

It’s 5:47. I’m not finished with the article I want to write. But it will have to wait because even on a teacher’s crappy salary, I’d rather sacrifice the money.

I want the moments.

And those moments? They’re what happiness is made of.

Truth four: Everyone has monsters.

There are people in our lives who make us angry. They belittle us or others. They’re cold. They spew venom. They’ve done or do things that we don’t approve of or don’t understand.

And though we can see the behavior, we can’t always see the “why” behind it.

But believe me, everyone has a “why” that’s made them who they are.

Low self-esteem. Abuse. A broken heart. Absent parents.

And that doesn’t mean you invite them into your circle, but it does mean you think before you act and seek to understand them first.

If they’re hurting you or others, be bold enough to speak up and tell them the effects of their behavior.

But always do so as gently as possible and try to keep their “why” in mind.

The wonderful thing is sometimes your softness towards them will break through the dam of negative emotions causing their behavior.

Truth five: There are times “goodbye” is the only solution.

You’ve tried to be there for someone, and they don’t return the favor. You’ve had the talks, and nothing ever changes. Or maybe you’ve found someone kind and loving, someone who’s everything you thought you wanted, but the spark’s not there.

It’s hard to let go of people and situations, even if they’re not making you happy.

But staying in relationships because they’re safe or because they once met your needs is wasted time.

It’s time you could spend forging new bonds that make you happy now.

And I know saying goodbye is scary, but if something inside you is telling you there’s nothing left to try, nothing left to do to improve the relationship, then that word needs to be said.

So free yourself to find true happiness, and free the people you need to leave to find their own happiness. It’s the kindest thing to do for everyone involved.

Truth six: At some point, you have to let go and be who you are.

Lada Gaga gives crucial advice to everyone who truly wants to live a happy life. She states:

“Don’t you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are.”

Life’s too short to play make-believe concerning your own personality. It’s too short to change your looks, opinions, beliefs, or behaviors to make someone like you.

Each of us is special. And each of us has a unique role to play in the universe.

So be yourself.

You are you, and your tribe is out there.

So don’t spend your life trying to gain memberships to groups who don’t mesh with your beliefs and passions.

It’s useless. Because no matter how much you try to hide who you are, the real you will eventually come out.

Instead, your efforts should be centered around using your time to find “your people.”

You deserve the right to be authentic. You deserve the joy that comes from being your true self, and you deserve people who love you the most when you’re not playing dress-up for the world.

So don’t settle for anything less.

The bottom line:

People, peace, and perspective.

These three words are as simple an answer as you’re going to get about how to be more fulfilled.

And yes, these answers aren’t earthshattering.

You knew them before you even read.

But that category five tornado we’re all living in? Sometimes we’re being whipped around so much that we forget what can help us survive the storm intact.

So think on these things. Often. And use them to guide your life.

The answers are in there somewhere. I promise.