6 Things my Parents Told me that I Wish I had Realised Sooner

Even though my parents are long gone, I still hold those valuable insights they instilled in me as a child and teenager

I see myself in my daughter’s eyes.

Whenever I tell her to “take a jacket” or “to study a bit more,” I think of my mother.

I would get so annoyed with the repetitiveness of her words — every time I’d go out or do anything for that matter.

That never stopped looking out for me, by the way — she kept on going right up until her death last year.

I treasure those words of concern that will never pass by anyone’s lips ever again.

The most valuable thing I can do is carry those lessons my parents taught me and mirror them through my life — in my way.

Then, perhaps one day, my daughter will look back on what I have told her and smile — just as I am.

One: If you have to say something nasty, don’t do it because you won’t be able to take it back

My parents never picked my faults, even though I had a lot. Don’t we all?

They were the type of people who tried to see the good in others, to bring out the best in them.

They always told me not to say nasty things to people — because once it’s said, you can’t ever take it back.

People tend to remember the bad things you say, even though you might have done so much to smooth it over.

Apologies don’t mask the pain you inflict on others.

It’s just human nature for people to forgive but not forget.

So before you pick the faults of others, check out your reflection in the mirror — because it’s never going to be perfect either.

Two: Take care of your baggage, before you look through other peoples

Being nosy and meddling in other peoples affairs was unheard of in our family.

I still stay away from sticking my nose into other peoples business — it’s inconsiderate and an invasion of privacy.

Plus, we all have our baggage to deal with — why increase your stress levels by adding other people on top of your own?

Some people get off on seeing the pain of others. It might take their own pain away for a moment.

All humans suffer to a degree — some more than others.

It’s important to be nice to others as we don’t know their life story.

So silence on their part doesn’t mean anything — but perhaps the pain is too much to speak of — and it’s best we don’t remind them.

Three: You have to work hard to get the things you want

Mum and dad always worked hard.

My dad would work 2–3 jobs most of his life to look after the family.

Mum would do some sewing work at home on her machine. So that’s pretty much how we all grew up.

Dad would have his day job, come home, shower, and rush out the door to another job. So I don’t see much of him growing up.

He did this for many years, never complaining about a thing.

It was the one thing he knew how to do.

Both my parents immigrated from Greece at a young age and fended for themselves. They learnt to read and write English by reading magazines!

Being in their late 50’s still meant they had some hard work to do.

They would experience setbacks and have to start again. But the funny thing was, that motivated them to do even better!

Dad was the one who always said that you have to work hard and focus on getting the things you want.

He told me that you must put all your effort into what you are trying to achieve and never stop. So don’t let anything stop you — keep going.

I still hold this so close to my heart.

It’s what makes me work hard too. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever stopped working hard. So you do mirror what you see often.

The vision of my parents fighting strong and hard despite adversity drives me forward when my circumstances are challenging.

Four: When you’re a parent, you will understand

When I was a teenager, I never understood why mum insisted I take a jacket with me, get home at a specific time, and know my whereabouts every hour.

It was so frustrating, and I’m sure if we had mobile phones, she’d be calling me all the time.

Every time I’d ask her, she would say this: “Angel, I’m your mum, and you are my daughter. So when you have children, you will understand the depth of my love.” And as usual, she was right.

The depth of love, the insatiable need to protect and nurture your child from anything and anyone that will harm them — it becomes an obsession.

But, unfortunately, the concern you have is only a nuisance to teenagers — until the tables are turned around one day.

Five: You will remember what I’ve said and done when I’m gone

When dad was very sick, they discharged him from the hospital for one final time.

He had a blue beanie he wore to keep his head warm.

The radiotherapy left his body without any hair to keep warm.

It was the middle of winter, and we were watching the news.

The twin towers collapsed — In complete shock, we looked at one another.

How could anyone forget that it was September 11th, 2001?

After what happened sunk in, he turned to me and said;

“Angelica, you know the next time I go back into hospital, I’m not going to come back home. That will be it for me.” I was in complete shock — but I tried to hide it.

To that, I said, “Dad, don’t worry at all, you’re strong, you’re going to live forever.” He just shook his head and let it go.

I don’t want him to die — and I wasn’t ready to face it. I was only 22 at the time.

I needed my dad, but I didn’t want him to see how petrified I was at the thought of losing my tower of strength — just as the buildings collapsed on TV.

But he was right.

The last seizure he had left him in hospital. He passed away on November 2nd.

I will never forget the day, & I won’t forget mums either — dad visited her in a dream to say he was coming to get her soon. That was before she became ill.

Finally, after 19 years apart, these two souls met again on August 29th, 2021.

Six: No one will love you as your parents do

My dad would say this all the time — especially when I would bring out that teenage bitch inside me.

Remember the days we got angry at how loving our parents were towards us?

We teenagers just needed space and privacy to be miserable.

Love from our parents didn’t even come into the picture. We’re all too busy having fun with friends and obsessed with boys.

Despite dad mentioning these words to me all the time, I don’t think he needed to, as I knew my parents loved me a lot.

Of course, it didn’t compare to anything else in the world, but I was happy to keep on taking it for granted, as all kids do.

Then, of course, the day comes when you grow up, and as youth diminishes and wisdom takes over, I can finally understand the truism of this statement.

No matter how much time you spend externally looking to replace parents love — you won’t find it.

It’s not apparent in any person or anything. It’s here today and gone for a lot longer.

As I have reached the ripe old age of 43, going onto 44, I miss that love terribly.

Isn’t it ironic that you only realise the meaning of those wise old words when you come of age?

I hold onto those valuable memories whenever I’m lonely or miss my parents and our family unit.

Despite how little we had, it was always a sunny & happy day in our home.

I wish I knew then what I know now — don’t we all?

I thank them from the bottom of my heart & ask for forgiveness for what I didn’t know — until we meet again.

Thank you for listening

If you would like to read more articles like this or start writing your own, please sign up via my link. I’d love to see you on the other side.

Sign up here for your medium subscription.

I get a portion from your monthly fee at no extra cost to you, and it will go a long way in supporting me as a writer.

If you would like to express gratitude with coffee, send the love via this link