avatarJessey Anthony

Summary

The article outlines six subtle signs to identify a disrespectful or problematic partner after a first date, emphasizing the importance of recognizing these red flags early to avoid future heartache.

Abstract

The article "6 Subtle Signs to Know He’s a Jerk After the First Date" provides insight into recognizing early warning signs when dating. It suggests that individuals often repeat patterns of dating similar, often negative, personality types. The author highlights behaviors such as acting like an overindulged adult, crossing boundaries intentionally, exhibiting potential predatory behavior, displaying a lack of empathy for humanitarian issues, expressing misogynistic views, and demonstrating a complete disregard for personal growth or respect for others. These signs are indicative of a partner who may be emotionally immature, controlling, or even dangerous, and the article encourages readers to trust their instincts and not ignore these red flags.

Opinions

  • The author believes that individuals tend to be drawn to the same types of problematic partners, such as the "bad boy" archetype, despite past negative experiences.
  • There is a critical view of men who exhibit childlike behavior reliant on their mothers, suggesting they make poor partners due to their indecisiveness and emotional dependency.
  • The article conveys that it is essential to be cautious with strangers, as they may have malicious intentions, such as drugging someone's drink.
  • It expresses disdain for individuals who show no empathy or interest in humanitarian efforts, indicating that this apathy is a sign of a self-centered personality.
  • Misogyny is highlighted as a significant red flag, with the author emphasizing that disrespect towards women is unacceptable and should be an immediate deal-breaker.
  • The author opines that individuals who are proud of their ignorance and show up to dates intoxicated or high are a complete waste of space and not worth one's time.
  • The article suggests that readers should prioritize self-respect and not tolerate disrespectful or embarrassing behavior on a first date.
  • It encourages readers to subscribe to a newsletter for more relationship advice and to consider becoming a premium member for access to additional stories on Medium.

6 Subtle Signs to Know He’s a Jerk After the First Date

If he’s any of these, stay far away from him.

Photo by Anna Tarazevich from Pexels

We’ve all been there. You meet someone, fall in love, and many years later, you ask yourself: “What was I thinking?” How could not see the signs earlier?

Then you recall, it wasn’t the first nor second time you’ve dated such a guy.

Though we would want to look for another ‘type’ of personality, more often than not, we settle for something similar in terms of the last person we dated.

Research suggests that there’s a tendency to continue dating a similar personality once the last relationship is over.

Unfortunately for many of us, we tend to choose the same set of bad boys repeatedly. Asshole, jerk, or douchebag — it’s always that bad boy type of guy that we are drawn to.

Assholes drive women nuts, yet when a perfect gentleman comes along, they let them pass.

If you’re dating an asshole, you’re unlucky. If you’ve dated three assholes in a row, you’re unlucky.

If you’ve dated more than five assholes in a row, it’s not luck; you are an asshole magnet. This means you are giving off an energy that attracts assholes, and you don’t stand up for yourself.

These guys don’t go around with a sign printed on their forehead saying, “I’m an asshole,” but sometimes, you can tell he is one after the first date if you are paying attention, saving yourself from future heartache.

He acts like an overindulged baby adult

If you’ve ever dated a mama’s boy, then you must be familiar with their childlike prowess.

These child-men pay attention to their mothers and what they think, then to their women. Such males are somewhat indecisive and emotionally castrated by their mothers.

They make very poor partners as they will consider their mother to be more important than anyone else.

It’s understandable when a child acts like a child. What’s not acceptable is when a full-grown adult behaves like a child.

My former colleague, 37, bragged to his date about his family’s wealth. He was so proud of what he did that he saw it humiliating when the girl walked out on him after hearing his proposal.

From his story, he told the girl that his family is very wealthy, and they will take good care of her if she was to marry him right away after her graduation.

The girl was a college student. He assured her there was no need for her to obtain a higher qualification or seek a job because his family was so rich that she wouldn’t lack a thing.

I applauded the babe for walking out on him even though I did not know her, which made him even more furious.

He walks over boundaries on purpose

My friend went on a date with one Hispanic she met online. They decided to visit the sports stadium, close to the restaurant they had booked for dinner.

She told him that she doesn’t drink, and he bought her a beer. She told him that she was a vegetarian, but he wouldn’t let her buy the snacks she likes and instead ordered two hot dogs for her.

She ignored the red flags and proceeded to get a seat to watch the game with him. After a few minutes, he noticed she had not touched her hot dog, and he shouted at her, “Eat the damn hot dog!”

My friends left the scene immediately, making up an excuse about an emergency.

He’s a potential rapist

You can’t be too trusting with strangers. Always prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario.

Back in the university, I went out with a douche in my sociology class. We got along fine just as I do with every other guy in the class.

When we got to the bar, I told him to order my drink and excused myself to take a call.

After taking two sips, I realized that he had drugged my drink. His excuse was that he technically drugged his own drink and just offered it to me to try, so it was my fault.

I was lucky my eyes weren’t so delirious. I quickly got out of there and rode it out home alone. I still look back at that night and wonder what could have happened.

He hates humanitarian works

One of the things I don’t like in assholes is their ungratifying apathetic nature. They think everything has to be about them.

They don’t care if you are suffering or dying before their eyes. Even when they say they care, you can count on them to play dumb during an emergency.

My niece had been flirting with this guy for a couple of days, before going on a date with him.

He was all sweet over the phone and texts but couldn’t hide his mask when my niece gave some money to a homeless person they met on their first date.

Dude flamed and started to rant about the poor fellow on the streets. Well, my niece didn’t need to be told to take a rain check. She left his sorry ass and never looked back.

He’s a proud misogynist

If you are going to be with a scum, you should at least have the decency to respect your body how it is.

Georgina proved me right. She thought he was a gentleman from all intent and purpose from their phone and video conversation until he struck the camel’s back.

Barely 15 minutes into their date, he whispered into her ears, “I like to eat pussy, lick feet, and if this is going to be serious, you really need to lose weight.”

What a horrible asshole!

Anyway, she made her way out immediately she got her emotions under control.

I felt ashamed for him when Gina told me he was 42, well learned, and traveled.

You would assume in this generation; men would have learned the ethics of communication.

There are things you just don’t say on first dates even if you have been chatting with the person months before seeing them in person.

He’s a complete waste of space

Assholes are too proud of their ignorance. I mean, who can you blame them for being a total waste of space?

She was set up on a blind date with some guy by her friends. You would think he would at least give an impressionable first appearance. Nope!

He showed up drunk and high on drugs. Fortunately, she has experience with addicts and could easily spot one in 5 minutes.

Ignoring the first red flag, she continued the conversation and told him about her profession. She was a teacher and a part-time marriage counselor.

He picked on her and proceeded to berate her profession and said that he always hated his teachers who tried too hard.

Of course, she was too smart to know where that relationship would end up. She finished her drink, paid for both of them and left.

If you run into guys who make you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable on the first date, do yourself a favor and leave the scumbag. Even if they seem nice and smart in appearance, they are usually a pile of trash and bad for you.

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Relationships
Advice
Dating
Psychology
Self
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