6 Stoic Exercises to Help You Achieve Inner Peace
These ancient nuggets of wisdom are now research-supported.
Stoicism has changed my life. It has improved my self-control, taught me how to deal with suffering, and reduced my anxiety and stress.
The first time I stumbled upon this ancient greek philosophy, I was fascinated by how simple yet profound its principles and ideas were. The best part is that anyone, irrespective of their standing or situation in life can embrace Stoicism.
Irrevocable proof of this fact is that the Stoic masters themselves came from different walks of life with a Roman emperor, a playwright, a senator, a water carrier, a merchant, and a slave being the prominent ones.
Anyone, irrespective of their standing or situation in life can embrace Stoicism.
Practicing Stoicism doesn’t have to be hard. I want to share 7 simple exercises that have helped me and can help you become more stoic.
Pessimistic Visualization
We, humans, are a discontent lot and this has only gotten worse with time. We want better looks, bigger homes, hotter partners, fancier cars, and higher paychecks. And nothing ever seems enough — if there’s someone dreaming of buying a car, there’s someone else looking at his Ferrari with disdain and lusting for a Bugatti.
Nothing ever is enough. This is because of our hedonistic adaptation. As William B. Irvine explains in his book A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy:
“As a result of the adaptation process, people find themselves on a satisfaction treadmill. They are unhappy when they detect an unfulfilled desire. They work hard to fulfill this desire, in the belief that on fulfilling it, they will gain satisfaction. The problem, though, is that once they fulfill a desire, they adapt to its presence in their life and as a result stop desiring it — or atleast don’t find it as desirable as they once did. They end up just as dissatisfied as they were before fulfilling the desire.”
Luckily, the Stoic arsenal has a nifty exercise called negative visualization for just this — basically flexing your pessimistic muscle and visualizing everything that could go wrong. As Marcus Aurelius said,
“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness — all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil.”
Through negative visualization, we are able to appreciate and be grateful for the positives in what we already have. When we imagine losing what we have and our worst-case scenarios, we connect to how much the things we currently have mean to us.
Furthermore, this exercise can help build resilience against adversity. Since more than 99% of our life is out of our control, things can go wrong when we least expect them to. Just yesterday, I woke up ready to conquer the world and ended up having one of the worst days of my life.
But when you expect the worst, no matter what life throws at you, you’ll be able to stomach it.
So, before you start your day, think about and visualize all the things that could go wrong. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could possibly happen?” and be brutally pessimistic and honest when you answer. You’ll feel uncomfortable the first few times but it’ll really pay off in the long term.
The Dichotomy of Control
The Stoic concept of the dichotomy of control has been the biggest gamechanger for me. The premise is simple — identify and focus only on the things that are in your control. Don’t bother about the things that aren’t. As Epictetus said,
“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions.
The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others.”
As simple as it sounds, it’s something very few of us truly implement in our lives. A mean comment, a rejection, a failure, someone’s behavior, unexpected adversity, and other things outside our control become a cause for worry.
We aren’t to blame, the way we are wired is. As psychological research shows, we have a deep-seated desire to be in control — of ourselves, our environment, and others.
But by practicing the dichotomy of control, we can break the illusion of control and be more aware of the things we can control. So, in every situation, try to practice the dichotomy of control. Calmly analyze it, identify the things that are in your control, and focus only on them.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
At first, you’ll have to be deliberate about doing this but with practice, it will start to feel more and more natural.
Practice A “No-F*cks Given” Attitude
For most of my life, my identity and happiness revolved around what others thought of me. If someone said I looked good, I did. If someone said I didn’t, I didn’t. I was a sock puppet controlled by others and I was unhappy.
Wired with a strong urge to conform, we cannot help but care about what others think. Some of us, like my past self, take this to such an extent that our own opinions cease to matter. As Marcus Aurelius said,
“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”
But no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to please everyone and in the process of trying, you’ll often end up sacrificing your own happiness. Moreover, this comes back to the dichotomy of control — other’s opinions aren’t in your control and as a result, aren’t worth worrying about.
What do I want to do that I am not doing solely due to what others would think?
So practice a “No-f*cks-given” attitude where you don’t care about what others think. It doesn’t mean you don’t heed the opinions of others at all but just that you put your own opinion first.
I like to ask myself a simple question, “What do I want to do that I am not doing solely due to what others would think?”, answer it honestly and do just that. It could be expressing unconventional opinions, talking about my “uncool” habits, discussing taboos, or openly disagreeing with someone.
Journaling
Meditations, the famous book by Marcus Aurelius was never meant to be published. It wasn’t even meant to be shared with others. This is because it was Marcus’s personal diary. Every other Stoic also practiced some or other form of journalling. As Seneca said,
“When the light has been removed and my wife has fallen silent, aware of this habit that’s now mine, I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by”
Journaling is introspection in disguise but with the added benefit of being able to record and “track” your reflections. Research has found journaling to have a host of benefits —reduced anxiety, higher self-awareness, improved mood, boosted creativity, trauma healing, better communication skills, etc.
So at the end of every day, reflect on and record the day’s events, your thoughts, and actions. Think about the ways in which you could’ve done, said, or reacted to a situation better.
Memento Mori
The recent death of a friend of mine was a stark reminder of the shortness of life and the inevitability of death. But when we mindfully go about our lives, understanding the importance of every single second we have, life is never too short. As Seneca said,
“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.”
Memento Mori is a Latin phrase that means “Remember that you have to die”. It’s only by being aware of the sheer inevitability of death that we can truly live.
Being reminded of death puts things back into perspective. Every second becomes much more valuable and what matters vs what doesn’t becomes clearer.
It’s only by being aware of the sheer inevitability of death that we can truly live.
Every day, remind yourself that your time on earth is limited and it’s getting shorter with every fleeting moment. Don’t waste it by doing things you don’t like, caring about things that don’t matter or entertaining people that make you feel miserable.
Amor Fati
The Stoics believe that the universe is deterministic and that everything that has, is, and will happen is already determined. But you don’t have to share their worldview to be able to use and reap the benefits of this exercise.
Because one thing is certain — since more than 90% of our life is determined by external factors that are outside our control, things rarely turn out the way we want them to. And since we cannot change what has already happened, the best way forward is acceptance and this is exactly what Amor Fati or “The love of fate” advocates. As Epictetus said,
“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that whatever happens, happens the way it happens: then you will be happy.”
Despite us not being able to control our circumstances in life, we can always control how we choose to perceive and react to them. As Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl says,
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
So irrespective of the situation you find yourself in, learn to accept it and look forward.
Final Words
Stoicism summarized in one sentence is — focus on the things you can control, accept the things you cannot, and live mindfully. But this is something easier said than done and that’s where the Stoic exercises come in. To summarize:
- Negative visualization: Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”, be brutally honest when answering and visualize just that.
- The dichotomy of control: In every situation, recognize and focus on the things that are in your control. Accept and don’t worry about the ones that aren’t.
- A “no-f*cks-given” attitude: Remind yourself that your own opinion of yourself matters much more than those of others. Don’t let the fear of what others think hold you back from doing or saying things you want to.
- Journaling: Every night, reflect on the day’s events, your thoughts and actions, and record them in a diary. The key here is being brutally honest.
- Memento Mori. Remember that you are going to die. Be aware that every new day could be your last and live accordingly.
- Amor Fati. With the majority of our lives dictated by external factors outside our control, things rarely turn out the way we want them to. Instead of lamenting or cursing your fate, love it.
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