6 Skills That Are Hard to Master but Come With Huge Payoffs

The world needs you at your best.

It’s time to admit you’re jealous. Most people deny it, but when everyone around you seems to have life all figured out, how can you not feel envy in your gut?

You’re hard-working, but you don’t make progress.

Nothing worthwhile comes easy, but you forget to work smart as well as hard. When you master specific skills, they have a huge payoff.

Imagine a future that sees you content and secure. Where you’re helping others, and people trust you.

Imagine loving yourself enough to take a risk.

1. Your day is made or broken by this one thing.

Even the wealthiest people in the world can’t buy more time. We all have the same 24 hours, but you squander them doing brain-dead activities like watching tv and lounging around.

You might have a vague idea of wanting to improve your life “one day,” but it’s just hot air, and you have no concrete plan.

Many people struggle with planning. Your entire day is made or broken by the effectiveness of the plan — or lack of it — you create. Make a thorough and detailed to-do list and schedule it to give yourself the greatest chance of success.

Take it steady. It’s tempting to dive in and commit to an unholy amount of work early on when the motivation’s high, but this is how you get overwhelmed and quit.

You might think you don’t need a routine. You think it’d make your life boring. It’s something “old” people do. But you need a routine to get on top of your most important tasks each day so you can make room for relaxation later.

No one’s saying you can’t watch tv. But do it after you’ve achieved something.

2. The power of listening.

A happy life is dependent on being able to connect with other people. Most of us have had a few occasions when someone really listened to us. Remember that feeling of being heard. That’s the power of empathy, and you want to create it for others.

To empathize, you must put yourself in another person's shoes and work hard to understand them. Not just their good bits, either. It requires hard work and emotional effort, and the other person feels when you go the extra mile. It’s something that can’t be faked.

I used to volunteer for the Samaritans — a group that takes calls and visits from people suffering. Some are suicidal, while others are at varying stages of misery and grief.

I was trained to talk to people suffering, but my training didn’t give me some special techniques. Instead, it taught me to listen.

You think you’ve been listening for most of your life. Why would an adult need special training in how to listen? Well, you’ve been taught how to hear, wait for the other person to shut up, and then get your part in.

Active listening is a powerful, life-saving skill. I had to concentrate on nothing besides what the person in front of me was saying. I had to put myself in their position as best I could to feel their pain and relay my understanding of their life back to them.

Done correctly, it can stop people from harming themselves. Learn this skill to make people feel amazing. In return, you’ll have their love and respect. Everyone wins.

3. What’s the point of having empathy if you hate yourself?

It’s no good learning how to listen and empathize with other people if you’re a tyrant to yourself.

What other people think of you doesn’t matter as much as what you feel about yourself.

My self-esteem used to be scraping the bottom of the barrel, which led to people being abusive wherever I went, whether at school, on public transport, or trips on a weekend. People’s hatred made me hate myself more in a never-ending spiral.

Finally, I decided to take control. For ages, despite not feeling it inside, I gave the image of a confident person. I faked it long enough that I slipped into the role. I became the person I had always dreamed of. At the same time, the abuse stopped.

4. Successful people have no problem doing this.

Successful people know how important it is to admit when they’re wrong. Mistakes afford you the greatest learning opportunities. If you bounce from one failure to another without assessing what went happened, you’re in danger of repeating the same old errors throughout your life.

Part of being honest means asking for help when you need it. Active listening can only work if the person struggling talks. Men, in particular, are bad at opening up, which is why the incidence of male suicide is so high.

Suicide is explosive anger turned inwards. If you suppress your emotions, they will find a way out. Do it for too long, and they’ll explode. Whether this explosion results in self-harm or harm to others depends on the person.

I suppressed the trauma I experienced as a police officer and hid my sorrow with alcohol and food. I have a problem with food that I’m addressing by working out, eating more vegetables, and limiting my portion size.

5. All we have is now.

The past is a memory, the future an idea. All we have is the present moment, yet our minds wander like unruly children.

Several religions and philosophies teach the importance of living in the present. Stoicism, Sufism, and Buddhism, to name just three, teach us how to notice our thoughts without becoming attached.

My favorite philosophy is Stoicism, which stresses focusing on the things you can control. This rules out war, disease, and even other people's choices in your daily life.

When you give up stressing about these things and concentrate on your sphere of influence, you’ll have more time to focus on your personal problems and find life more enjoyable.

Start by being mindful and noticing your thoughts as they occur. If you identify a worry beyond your control, observe and let it pass. Maybe you’ll struggle at first, so let your fear of struggling go too.

6. The biggest factor in success isn’t talent.

Discipline is the difference between success and failure. Even more than talent or motivation, you need discipline to reach the top and stay there.

Motivation is overrated. When you start something new, it has novelty value. You feel excited and dream of the possibilities. Then the novelty wears off without seeing the results fast enough. The realization sets in that you need to grind to achieve your dream. That’s when you quit.

Look at all the courses available online. Note how many are geared towards beginners compared to advanced students. The vast difference is that the people flogging their courses know that most people quit before they grow beyond the beginner stage.

To succeed when everyone else quits, you need discipline. Consistently show up and do your best regardless of how you feel. Boredom and frustration should be irrelevant. If pursuing your dreams were always fun and easy, everyone would live their dream life.

Stop being selfish and give the world your best.

You know the skills required to succeed in every area of life. You know how to make heartfelt connections with people and how to love yourself enough to demand more and push yourself when everyone else is quitting.

Eventually, you’ll find online courses too easy as you’ll have the discipline to stick with one subject.

If this feels overwhelming, notice your thoughts and let them go.

The world needs the best version of you, and you should demand nothing less.

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