6 Reasons Why You Should Be More Mindful With Your Grind Mindset
I eat, sleep, and breathe the grind… except I don’t sleep… or eat…
Burnt (and I cannot emphasize this enough) Out
Here you are again. You’ve worked a 12-hour day. You’ve missed lunch. You’re groggy because you only got 4 hours of sleep last night. It’s fine though.
It’s all for the grind babyyyyyyy!
At least that’s what you keep telling yourself. “It’ll all be worth it when I’m ahead in life and then no one can tell me anything!” Right?
I’m not so sure anymore. I think what I’m doing is right for me. I’ve recently made some decisions that people have told me were outlandish.
I moved to Brooklyn in New York City during the pandemic when my office for work is an hour and a half away (one way 😅). I decided to stop teaching as an adjunct professor at my old college. I decided I didn’t want to have 14 side projects inside and outside of work. (I only have 13 now and it’s great) Lately, I’ve been making more decisions for myself. I have to say, it’s been pretty great.
My friends often would describe me as an overachiever. When we go on vacation I organize the trip and make sure there will be something to appease everyone. I scour the listings for the perfect AirBnB. I plan meals and activities. I cook for my friends. I try and make sure everyone is happy and having a good time. I DD. I make the beer runs. I do it all.
Now, I’m saying this to get the point across that my obsessiveness isn’t only with work. I’m not trying to convince you to come on vacation with me, I promise. My friends do help too, we have a system. Back to the matter at hand.
Back to all of the things that I stopped doing. I was in that pit. I’d imagine if you’re reading this you’ve been there too. “I just have a month of misery, then this project is over and I’ll be fine.” Some weak justification, gaslighting myself saying the next time will be different. That’d be true if there wasn’t always another project or thing to do. I feel like I have to be running at max capacity, probably more. 120%, 150%. On the verge of burnout at all times or I feel like I’m behind. I could be better.
I’d be a liar to say that I dropped it all and picked up nothing else. Me writing this is a new endeavor. One could argue my writing this blog post is me overachieving again. They’d be right. It’s different this time. Here’s why.
A Happy Accident
My roommates and I had a plan, we’ll go month to month on our lease knowing we didn’t wanna commit to living together for another full year.
Our building said no.
We won’t get into how they promised us we’d be able to do that before this point. Story for another time. What’s important is that we had a decision to make. A career change for one of us, a life change for another, and a crisis for me. Where am I gonna live?
Here, the outlandish thought of moving to NYC peeks its little head into my brain. After some introspection. I tell myself, “Why not?” I’ve spent the last 5 years at work grinding. I’ve convinced my job that I should be the model employee that they should send out to recruit and interview. I’ve become an adjunct college professor at my alma mater. I’ve gotten 3 major promotions in 5 years at work. I deserve to do something for me for once.
So, I moved. I also tried to do everything that I was doing before… and it was miserable.
I was teaching 3 nights a week. I was on 2 projects that were both high priority at work. I was asked to do a few recruiting visits. Now with 3+ hours of driving on top of all of it (yup, I didn’t switch offices. I just moved). Somehow, I didn’t regret the decision, not for a second.
Living in the city made me happy. That’s something that I wasn’t prioritizing before.
This was my aha moment. I got through my last semester of teaching and knew 2 years was enough. I throttled down my side projects and decided that putting some of that energy into my happiness was a more worthwhile endeavor. Going to more concerts, hanging out with friends, and going to brunches, I started dating, learning how to DJ, more vacations, and trips with friends. Less grind, more time for me.
What did I do next you might ask? I’d love to tell you.
I told my higher ups at work that I wanted to become a technical executive.
What?!?!!?
You were just on your high horse about doing less work? What are you even talking about? Why would you ask about becoming an executive!?
Hear me out.
A Couple Steps Backward, Then a Huge Leap Forward
The thing about having a grind mindset with no time to pick your head up out of the weeds is that you may stray off course. Not in a major way, or in a way that’s life-ruining. Just ever so slightly. Now compound being off course for years at a time and you’re on a completely different path. The interest adds up. Fast.
I thought that I wanted to be a professor. An authority on what Computer Science is. I thought about getting a Ph.D. instead of entering the workforce right outta college. I quickly learned I didn’t like grading assignments. Tests and quizzes were just as bad. There’s so much work outside of the classroom. Like, so MUCH. (I appreciate all of my teacher friends out there so much more. It’s a thankless job)
On the other hand, it did wonders for my status at work. I was seen in a grander light. If I had chased that light, although it made me unhappy, I’d probably be fine in the short term. Long term, I guarantee I’d turn into that bitter and seemingly unhappy professor that we all had to deal with in college. No thanks.
Taking a step back, I did like teaching. I just didn’t like all the extra work. I’m learning that trading time for money in all scenarios isn’t the best choice. Was it possible? Yes? Does that mean that I should do it? No. That answer is for me. Maybe you decide otherwise. I do want you to see that just because you can doesn’t mean that you should though.
Onto my “questionable” work decision. Taking the time to take a step or two back and look at what I thought would make me the happiest at the moment. I settled on aiming for a technical executive position. The difference this time is that I’m focused on my happiness instead of the grind. Same with this blog post. Writing makes me happy. I like telling stories. I like helping other people. I like helping people avoid the mistakes that I’ve made. I’m trying to use my grind mindset as a tool and not the primary strategy.
Key Takeaways
Since I moved to NYC my work life has gotten so much better. My personal life is doing better too. The decision to focus on being happy has made me better when it’s time to lock in because I’m refreshed and motivated. Grinding is great. So is happy hour with friends. Find a balance.
Here are 6 things that you should be mindful of when it comes to your Grind Mindset:
- Focus on your happiness. You don’t want to miss out on life because you were grinding the whole time.
- Take care of yourself! Sometimes we’re so obsessed with the goal we sacrifice our well-being to get there.
- Don’t stop grinding. Just stop grinding 24/7. It’s a tool, not the entire solution.
- Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Is this going to be worthwhile for you and your mental health long term?
- Don’t be afraid to make an outlandish decision. It might pay off. That potential is worth more than you know. The so-called “right” way might not be the best.
- Take a step back every once in a while. With your head in the weeds, it’s hard to see the cleared-out path. Effort doesn’t always equal success. Time doesn’t always equal money.
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