Kicker has more than 5 letters

6 Reasons Why I Hate Wordle

🟩⬛⬛🟨⬛🟩 6/6

1/6 — My dog ate my Wordle

That’s why I can’t play.

2/6 — It’s popular

So popular, I purposely took a contrarian perspective to make you click and read this article. Now that I revealed my trick, will you keep on reading?

What if I told you to share this article on Twitter and add some nicely colored squares; would that help?

Don’t forget to share the number of reasons your read. If you stop at the next one, it’s 3/6.

3/6 — I lose all the time

My vocabulary is limited. I don’t know all the fancy words you need to master the Wordle algorithm. Some people recommend starting with the words SENOR and DUCAT to tick off as many common letters as possible.

Who the gerbil knows what these words mean?

4/6 — I like to complain

I don’t like the green color. I don’t like the orange color. I don’t like colors. The game is silly. It’s a waste of time.

I prefer numbers anyway.

That would be a great idea. Wordle but for numbers.

5/6 — It’s a plot to track my data and sell it to big Corpo

I know the creator said Wordle is “not trying to do anything shady with our data,” but that’s exactly what I would say if I were trying to do something shady with your data.

See what I mean?

6/6 — I don’t want to be a laggard

By now, everybody around me plays. I laughed at the 90 innovators that started playing in October last year. I laughed at the early adopters in December. I missed the early majority. I didn’t want to be part of the late majority, and I certainly don’t want to be a laggard.

Only one possibility left. Be against it.

I’m against Wordle.

There.

I said it.

What about you? Tell us what you think of Wordle in the comments — no worries, I won’t read them.

Smillew is a Medium artist who writes about testicles scratching tools, his Medium newsletter, and his Medium referral link. No need to follow him; he’ll show up in your feed.