avatarAshley Broadwater

Summary

Asking for help is a sign of strength and self-awareness, not weakness or inadequacy, and is a common need among people.

Abstract

The article emphasizes that seeking assistance is a natural part of the human experience, with nearly 70 percent of people needing help weekly but not asking for it. The fear of appearing weak, inadequate, or out of control often prevents individuals from reaching out. However, the author argues that asking for help is a courageous act that demonstrates intelligence and the ability to recognize one's limitations. It is noted that everyone faces challenges beyond their control or knowledge, making help-seeking necessary and admirable. The article encourages self-compassion, understanding that perfection is unattainable, and acknowledges that doing one's best is commendable. It also provides resources for improving communication skills when seeking help, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) techniques.

Opinions

  • Asking for help is a common human need, with a significant number of people requiring assistance but not requesting it due to various fears and societal expectations.
  • The societal stigma that equates asking for help with weakness is challenged, suggesting that it is instead an act of bravery and intelligence.
  • Recognizing the need for help is seen as a sign of self-awareness and the ability to acknowledge one's own limitations and areas for growth.
  • Perfectionism is viewed as an unrealistic and unfair standard, and self-compassion is encouraged as a healthier approach to personal development.
  • The article suggests that everyone's "best" is different and that recognizing and respecting individual efforts and struggles is important.
  • Resources are provided to assist readers in effectively communicating their need for help, highlighting the importance of interpersonal skills in the process of seeking assistance.

6 Reasons Why Asking for Help Doesn’t Make Us Weak or Inadequate

Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

When I ask for help, I often feel like there’s something wrong with me or that I lack something. I feel insecure and inadequate. I’m scared that the person I ask will make a decision I disagree with or that I won’t understand the situation well enough.

However, I ask for help nearly every day. I hate dealing with “adult” tasks like figuring out insurance. I struggle with depression and anxiety, in which daily tasks and positive emotions can be difficult to handle, especially alone. I also know I’m not the best car parker or math problem completer, and that while I have my strengths, I have my weaknesses too.

I’m not alone, and neither are you. Research suggests that almost 70 percent of people need help each week, but don’t ask for it.

The reasons why are understandable. We haven’t seen others ask for help, so we’re not sure how to do it. We’re encouraged to complete tasks on our own, or its easier to do them ourselves.

But the main reason why we don’t ask for help is this: We’re scared.

What if asking for help is wrong? What if asking for help takes away our sense of control? What if someone deems us weak or stupid?

But we don’t need to feel ashamed about that fear and anxiety — it’s totally normal and it makes us human. Asking for help is more than okay. It’s not wrong; it doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough.

Below are six reasons why asking for help doesn’t make us weak or inadequate.

We all need help sometimes.

We all make mistakes; we all have something to learn. We all find ourselves in predicaments we don’t know how to get out of; we all need a little extra support. Needing help is common and not worthy of shame.

Some parts of our lives are out of our control, making an ask for help necessary.

Sometimes we’ll have to deal with a lot at once or will feel emotional; sometimes we’ll have to deal with topics or problems we haven’t been taught or had experience with yet. We all have to ask for help in order to learn and complete tasks we don’t understand. That doesn’t mean we’re inadequate, only human.

Expecting ourselves or others to be perfect or all-knowing is unfair.

None of us is perfect; all of us lack knowledge about something and mess up sometimes. Being compassionate and understanding with ourselves and others is important, helping us realize that asking for help is perfectly okay and expected.

We’re doing our best, and that’s admirable.

Your “best” may look different on different days, and it’ll certainly look different from someone else’s. We’re all built differently with our own successes and struggles. Feel confident in the fact that you’re doing your best and that that’s amazing.

Asking for help isn’t easy; it takes bravery.

While we know that none of us is perfect, we still sometimes believe that showing our imperfections is a sign of weakness. Being vulnerable with others is scary. However, by acknowledging that fear and moving past it, we’re engaging in a courageous act. It’s not easy to ask for help, so when we do, it’s impressive.

Realizing we need help shows intelligence and self-awareness.

People don’t always realize that they need to ask for help in order to do something correctly. By realizing we don’t fully understand something, we show our awareness about our knowledge. We show that we know our understanding of a topic isn’t all-encompassing, that more aspects exist than ones we know.

If you need help figuring out how to communicate with someone, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), explained here, entails a module called “interpersonal effectiveness” that includes communication-based tools. To learn more, you can check out some examples of tools here and worksheets here. Both links include acronyms that can help you remember the steps to effective communication.

When you realize you need to ask for help, take a deep breath and do it, regardless of your fears. Know that you are not alone in needing support and that you’re brave for asking. Be compassionate with yourself, realizing that expecting perfection is unrealistic.

Mental Health
Self
Relationships
Lifestyle
Life Lessons
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