Managers Find This Out Too Late

Production Tanks Because of It

I started in the military as an officer learning about leading people and educating soldiers in a classroom.

Yes. Teaching was a part of my officer's training just like a school teacher runs her classes, so did I.

Then I became a manager in the private sector and practiced Situational Leadership for 5 years. From then onwards I have been mentoring teaching and leading other people since it is fun and rewarding.

But now I will tell you what many managers think after they get into the position of becoming a manager.

The role is not very glamorous. It is the opposite.

Realization #1: Higher Social Status Comes With a Hefty Price!

I have written about this previously in that women and men have different sexual reproductive strategies according to David Buss at the University of Austin Texas.

Women, regardless of religion or equality seek men with equal or higher social status, that is, have money or the potential to earn money. Men on the other hand, regardless of level of equality or religion, choose younger and lower-status women with symmetrical faces.

Since women date men with resources.

Men seeking managerial positions

Men that want to date, seek those positions in work life to attain resources and social status.

A Position as a manager usually comes with a bump in salary. But that does not mean you either have the personality or qualifications to handle that job. I wrote a few other articles on what is required of a person to be a great leader and manager.

The social status that also comes with being a manager is attractive to women and that is one of the lesser good things about men seeking that role.

I speak from experience since I know how my female employees behaved towards me as a manager. Even in other jobs when there were rumours I was about to be promoted to becoming a manager. I sort of got a harem of women at my office door wanting to chat and do lunch. I turned down a managerial role twice in that agency simply because I knew I could not stand the rest of the managers there.

I know what the allure of becoming a manager is. This is also how male managers get into trouble if they do not have strong values and understand sexual harassment.

Zero tolerance is the baseline for the managerial position if you are wondering. You see how you now are starting to regret becoming a manager.

Women seeking managerial positions

As you recall from the research on female sexual reproductive strategies.

Women seek men with money or the ability to make money. As a woman, you will not date a shorter man with no job or resources. TLC wrote a song about “No Scrubs” that all women can attest to is a truthful song.

The problem with women seeking managerial positions is often due to:

• Attention
• Social status
• Resources aka money
• Helping others
• Working with people
• Building relationships
• Surviving on her own
• Becoming independent
• Influence

As you might see. These are not all good things for the company or the employees.

Realization #2: Being a Manager is Not Coaching According to the Company

Nowadays I always ask as many managers as possible about their job roles what they do not appreciate and what they think would be different.

Many of these managers think that as a manager they get to interact and work closely with people and build magnificent relationships.

Yes and no.

The company will not give you the time to do that since there is no time left after all the meetings you will be in.

But your employees are expecting it to stay happy and outperform.

I wrote about Task and Relationship leadership as being the most important skill as a manager in my article “The 2 Leadership Styles You Need To Master As a Manager or Leave It Alone”.

To succeed as a manager you need to be fluent in these two styles or you will not succeed and good employees will leave or complain to your manager.

As many people are accepting a job offer as a manager, without these skills. They will never be great managers or leaders. They will be seen as the opposite. Imagine that feeling every night when you go to bed that everyone thinks you are bad at your job.

Now imagine the regret of being stuck in that role as a manager and hating it.

Realization #3: Your Employees Drain Your Energy

I said that you would not have the time to coach and lead your employees as you wished to get into that role as a manager.

This is something many managers realize too late. Your employees are relentless in trying to gain your attention and help for many reasons.

• To make sure you see their performance
• To get the pay raise they think they deserve
• To lower their negative emotions
• To feel safe
• To solve their problems
• To repeat the task boundaries
• To resolve their conflicts with others

And the list goes on and on.

That is the point when they realize that they were given a bunch of people to manage who do not have the same or similar personalities.

The very next thought is that they wished they had done the recruiting themselves.

Realization #4: Dealing With Other People's Problems is Hard

I have written about personality before and how important it is that people are relatively the same in personality in any relationship.

This is important to minimize negative emotions created by cognitive friction due to personality.

Diversity Equity and Inclusion (DEI) all sound good. But in reality, it does not work. The entire field of psychology knows this since it creates conflict. Just look at Ecuador, Sweden, and the Middle East or Africa. You see this between a husband and his wife since the brains of men and women are NOT alike.

We know that for people to understand diversity they have to be high in openness to exploration which is artistic people and nature-loving people. But understanding is not enough. We also know that it requires people who are agreeable to accept diversity in the workplace. That means female personalities that are agreeable and anxious.

Since DEI is introduced in all Western countries you are set up to fail and have to deal with conflict day in and day out. You can forget about moving forward and producing things.

Or coaching and dealing with all the fun things that come with happy employees.

Realization #5: Is It Worth It?

Once a manager is knee-deep in the job as a manager he or she realizes that they have the social status and all the perks that come with it such as:

• Social status
• More money
• More attention
• Power

They also realize that the cost of getting out is lower social status, money, attention, and power.

So the probability that any normal person would resign as a manager on their own is slim to none. And that my friend leads to resentment and bitterness.

That will then be felt by the employees and then you get kicked into survival mode.

Being bitter and resentful with employees hating you for it is not a good place to be in. It is almost certain your manager will get the information from one of your employees which in the end terminates your employment.

That is then the end of your social status.

Was it worth it?

Realization #6: Higher Social Status Comes With a Hefty Price!

Higher Social status does not always have a happy ending.

I resigned myself after 5 years as a manager.

Promising myself never to hold such a position again. I love people and I have the recommendations to prove it from my employees and managers. But it is not worth the high blood pressure or sleepless nights.

Higher Social status is not always the better option and that is why so many managers regret taking the job as a manager.

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