6 Methods To Better Handle Emotional Overwhelm
Backed by real science, these are better than most generic self-care tips.
The pandemic, the war in Ukraine, as well as general feelings of loneliness, frustration, and sadness, have driven many of us to go through an insane rollercoaster of emotions. In the attempt to find some ways to deal with all these emotions, self-care positions itself as an appealing possibility. After all, buying feel-good consumables seems like a sensible thing that can help us process our emotions.
But the reality is that this industry often exploits individuals and is designed to keep you in a perpetual loop. It creates the impression that your solution to these emotional problems is to have more crystals, nice-smelling bath bombs, or to take some other generic advice from someone making way more money than you.
We’re reaching a point where a lot of us are experiencing something called emotional plurality. It’s an emotional state where the world is rapidly changing and developing that our emotions can’t even keep up. We experience emotional whiplash and have to tackle multiple emotions all at once.
Yes, tackling emotions one at a time and doing some self-reflection can help, but these are band-aid fixes in the face of being presented with several emotions. Some of the methods I’ve suggested in the past aren’t the most effective solutions to these problems.
But one thing is certain is that the usual self-care advice or products are definitely not going to help you. Having strong support networks, talking to a therapist, and finding genuine activities that you enjoy are much better solutions. That and turning to science that could provide some viable solutions.
Fortunately, I managed to find some. It was published in the academic journal Canadian Psychology and it looked at how to handle a particular subject: emotional dysregulation — an inability to manage your emotions at all.
This research is pretty new when it comes to mental health, however the researchers of that study believe it can help in various ways. The biggest is that this research can reveal emotional dysregulation in a few scenarios such as:
- Emotions triggered at the wrong time.
- Emotions triggered through the intensity of moments.
- Or emotions triggering and lasting much longer than usual.
This is a start, but it’s still pretty important for the simple fact that our brains and bodies aren’t perfect. And when that’s combined with various emotions, especially multiple at once, it’s easy for us to be blindsided.
Not only that, but this study reveals that emotional dysregulation isn’t just us experiencing a flurry of negative emotions. Positive ones can be put into the mix as well to add further confusion.
The study mentioned above is a pretty important tool as it explores emotional dysregulation, but also how to process overwhelming emotions and how we can keep them in check.
1. Make Time For Your Emotions
In our fast-paced society, we struggle to dedicate time to things that actually matter and are important to us. Over time, the more disconnected we feel, the harder it becomes for us to deal with emotional problems when they present themselves.
By simply taking a few minutes out of your day just sitting with your emotions and processing whatever is going on, we can begin to normalize our emotions.
This is crucial because the self-care industry has thrived off of the fact that people aren’t taking time to process their emotions. In a sense, self-care has become just another way to smother your emotions and keep them bottled up.
And all of this comes back to that generic advice of avoiding bottling up your emotions. It’s simple, but we fail to realize just how often and in various ways we can do that.
2. Notice The Physical Sensations
Our emotions are predictable in that it also brings some physical sensations too. The obvious ones are that when we’re happy, we smile, and when we’re angry our heart rate spikes.
Part of understanding our emotions is a result of identifying our specific tells for these emotional states and finding ways to better deal with them. It’s simple in the context of one emotion, but when you’re dealing with multiple, it becomes more nuanced and the usual methods might not work.
3. Giving The Emotion A Name
Our brain likes categorizing things and an easy method to categorize is to give things a name. It also serves as a coping mechanism and provides further understanding for ourselves.
The only problem with a naming system is that it’s a lot harder to do this than it seems. Again, emotions are complex. And if you’re experiencing multiple at the same time, it can be tricky to determine whether it’s one emotion that has many facets or it’s actually two that are melding together.
Not only that, but of course with some emotions being similar it can be tough to distinguish between the two. There is a difference between being happy and joyful for example or frustrated and irritated.
4. Reflecting On The Emotions
Specifically in the context of whether the emotion was a justified response to what you are dealing with right now. That or whether this emotion stems from someplace else.
Regardless of which one it is, reflecting in either or both of those contexts continues to add refinement to your emotions and gives you a better understanding of what it is and what it does to you. The best way to handle our emotions is naturally to know as much as we can about our emotions.
And this particular method is a good headway since it allows us to develop curiosity about ourselves and what we experience. This in turn can also help us to figure out how we can process and handle those emotions better than any self-care advice out there.
5. Let The Emotion Tell You
If the emotion you experienced is justified, this method is to allow your emotion to communicate to you. The idea is to frame this as a question and follow it up with what action you could be taking next.
These actions could take the shape of giving yourself some self-compassion, or maybe talking to someone else about what you’re going through.
6. Reframe The Situation
When emotions we’ve experienced are not justified for the situation, it could mean that you’re looking at a situation in the wrong light. This happens all the time as again we’re not perfect and our emotions can make us say, think, or do things we otherwise wouldn’t be doing.
Our mind is a mess of things and when you throw in a flurry of emotions and people generally struggling to process these things, there will be problems. This will happen even for you who is reading this as you might just be starting to regulate your emotions and process them — a task that I think is a lifelong pursuit.
What’s helped me, and what these scientists have uncovered, is that when we recognize our emotions are making us overreact or behave in a way we truly don’t think is right, it’s worth looking inward and reframing the situation. Who we are and how we react to things is all based on our personal experiences and how we process things.
So if you want to change yourself and your emotions, it’s a matter of looking at the situation and trying to reframe it into something more satisfying. How to reframe situations would be thinking abut how a friend would look at this situation or someone else you look up to.
Even with these methods at your disposal confronting emotions are never easy. But it’s much better to do this than to turn to the various alternatives that we’ve seen. In defence of self-care, while there are a lot of misguided practices and products, there are some that are truly helpful.
Specifically journals.
Mood diaries or using emotion wheels are proven and are quite popular and these are healthier methods of self-care that do make a difference if you’re not eager to shell out money for therapy. On the other hand, having a strong support network to turn to can also be helpful.
But the big thing is making a conscious decision to allow yourself to move forward. That can start by considering those methods I mentioned above or buying a few of the products I mentioned. Those will have a much bigger impact on your mental health than most other products that self-care has to offer you.
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