Summary

Six math teachers gathered for an end-of-year cookout, where they enjoyed camaraderie and discussed their profession, revealing their dedication to teaching despite the challenges faced during a pandemic year.

Abstract

The author, whose wife is a math teacher, attended an end-of-year cookout with her math department colleagues. Despite initial apprehension about the event, he found the teachers to be affable and sane, contrary to stereotypes. The gathering was filled with humor, good-natured ribbing, and discussions about teaching strategies, even amidst the relaxation of a social event. The teachers' commitment to their profession shone through as they exchanged ideas on how to improve their teaching methods for the upcoming academic year, despite the uncertainties brought on by the pandemic.

Opinions

The author initially feared the cookout might be dominated by math-related puns and behaviors, as exemplified by his concern over the Pythagorean Theorem applied to the drink selection.
The author was pleasantly surprised by the normalcy and sanity of the math teachers, acknowledging their resilience in dealing with the stress of teaching and the pandemic.
The teachers' dedication was evident in their informal discussions about work, where they shared experiences and sought advice on teaching challenges, even during a social gathering.
The author found the teachers' proactive approach to planning for the next school year inspiring, especially in the face of the unknown challenges posed by the ongoing pandemic.
The author's light-hearted commentary on the event, including the children's play with croquet mallets and the peculiarity of wearing sunglasses backwards, added a humorous tone to the narrative.

6 Math Teachers Went to a Cookout

A humorous, heartfelt tribute to our nation’s educators

The other night, I hung out with a bunch of math teachers. My wife is a high school math teacher. Her math department had their end-of-year cookout, and I was the +1. I know that my wife was hoping I’d decline the invitation so she could take the hunky French guy that lives down the street, and pretend that he was me.

No dice. I’ve been known to enjoy a good cookout.

I had no idea what to expect. I know a math teacher, obviously, but my wife is not normal. She doesn’t like pro-wrestling or hoppy beers. She likes to run, and only eats meat on one randomly selected day in August.

The meet and greet

We arrived fashionably late — that’s how it goes with two kids in tow, and I met six math teachers. They seemed pretty normal, but I was still wary: the array of wine, beer, and liquor followed the rules of a right triangle, per the Pythagorean Theorem.

“No! You can’t take that beer! It’ll upset the ratio of side A to side B! Wait for someone to take that wine cooler first!”

Nonetheless, there had to be some normal in them — after all, they did choose to (responsibly) mingle with others outside of work, and inside a pandemic.

It was a blast

Everyone was fun to be around, affable, and — though I am no psychologist — sane. Seriously, they like math, and approximately 180 days a year, subject themselves to verbal abuse from teenagers. Their sanity was a valid question.

The only odd thing was when the one big guy started wearing his sunglasses backwards. It was as if he was trying to protect some of his hair from whatever UV rays the sun had for the fading day. Nice guy though — and he has two very UV protected ovals on the back of his head.

We joked, laughed, and talked about normal people stuff. We even ate normally shaped food. I thought for sure that the burgers would be rhombus-shaped.

Our kids, in addition to two other children, somehow acquired croquet mallets. They spent their time clubbing any clubbable object in the host’s yard. There were lots of clubbable objects that the mallets were not designed to club.

The next time the hosts try to play croquet, I predict that a lot of balls are going to go in a random-ass direction.

But more than jokes…

Yeah, the group spent plenty of time yukking it up, asking about summer plans, and…

…talking about next year. In a meaningful way. Here these guys were, on a warm night in late June, safely celebrating the end of a very tough school year. And…they were talking about how to get better NEXT year. “How did you deal with ?” “How did you use ?” “What are you going to change?”

In the middle of light-hearted banter, a faculty meeting would emerge for a few minutes.

It was inspiring, to say the least. Only God knows what awaits our children next academic year. But, I know that there is a cadre of professional educators that are going to do their best to make the best of a sad situation.

That’s how they roll.

(I did manage to squeeze in a poop joke or two to stay in the mix.)