6 Hilarious Truths About Fitness I Learned From 12 Years In The Industry
Sex sells—to a point.
I started my first fitness job in January 2011.
Since then, it’s been a whirlwind that has launched a career that I love, taken me to incredible places, introduced me to amazing friends, and transformed my own health and lifestyle.
No, I’m not a world-record lifter. No, I don’t have a six-pack (although depending on the lighting… maybe?).
But I’ve trained many different clients, from pro athletes to celebrities to working Moms and more. I’ve worked at gyms, starting from the very bottom. I’ve become a go-to expert for several leading athletic brands.
And in those years, I’ve both loved and hated the industry. So without further ado, here are some of the most hilarious things I’ve learned over the past dozen years so you learn the truth and not get sucked into the lies.
Most Fitness People Have No Idea What They’re Talking About
Ohhh, if only you could’ve heard the things I’ve heard other “certified trainers” say.
I’ve heard enough horseshit to fill a football stadium.
The fact is it’s dangerously easy to become a fitness coach.
Worse, it’s even more dangerously easy to become a fitness writer.
(At least being a fitness coach requires a test and insurance.)
Most—yes, most—people in fitness have no fucking clue what they’re doing. It really is unfortunate, but it’s true.
My only advice is to look past their physique and analyze their training methodology, qualifications, experience, learning, passion, and more.
It’s one thing to listen to a teenager who lives at his parent’s home and has all the time in the world to get fit. It’s another to listen to someone who has worked at a gym for years, lectures at conferences, helps 100s of people get in shape, etc.
Many People Argue The Minutia
I used to be like this too. If you didn’t do “XYZ” training or “ABC” diet, you were doing things “wrong” and missing out.
Now? I could give a fuck less. If you like it and it helps you stay in shape and live an active lifestyle, more power to you. If a certain diet helped you lose 10kg (22lbs), great!
Ultimately, we’re splitting hairs about what exercise gives, like, 0.4% more effectiveness in a laboratory setting across three months of training.
Sure, some methods are pretty dumb. Sure, some of their “scientific claims” are pure bullshit. Sure, some of them are borderline unhealthy.
But aside from the egregious stuff, most things work and work well. And the more fitness professionals argue about these tiny details, the more we confuse and alienate people.
The key is just to do something, be consistent, and stop being so dogmatic.
Boring Is Best
When I was a trainer, I once got criticized because my workouts, according to him, weren't "sexy enough."
Huh? This isn't a porno; this is fitness.
It doesn't need to be sexy.
The funny truth is that the most basic exercises are the best. They’re timeless. They work better than virtually anything else. They have incredible bang for your buck.
Don’t fall for gimmicks.
Don’t try to reinvent the wheel.
And for the love of god, don’t watch training montages from pro athletes. (More on that below.)
Stick to the basics and you’ll get the best results.
Genetics Do Matter—To An Extent
Do you know your favorite IG fitness model with a chiseled body, huge muscles, a six-pack, etc.?
Many of them have insanely good genetics.
And the truth is, if you and I did the same exact thing and ate the same exact foods for the same exact amount of time as they did…
…we would NOT look as good.
This, my friends, is an unquestionable fact.
Certain people have very good genetics. In fact, certain ethnicities have much better (or worse) genetics for adding muscle than others. But guess what?
If you copied their same lifestyle, you would still look extremely damn good. You’d probably look good better than 98% of others. Just because you don't have "good genetics" is an excuse to just sit on the couch, eating a container of ice cream.
You can still do a lot and transform your body and look and feel amazing; you just won't look as amazing as this particular model.
Also, regarding professional athletes, a surprising amount of them do criminally bad workouts. (Yes, I’ve been inside these facilities.)
But the reason why they thrive is because they’re genetic freaks. To make it to that level, they are the 0.0001% of everyone else who tried. Either they’re insanely gifted with strength, speed, stamina, etc., or their bodies are hyper-resilient because everyone else’s body broke down.
I’m not saying their workouts are always bad; I’m saying that they are not a good example.
Look, I’m not blessed with “good genetics” for bodybuilding either! (An easy tell is the size of your wrists.) But I never let it become a reason to not train altogether; I just curbed my expectations and focused on what I could control.
But at the end of the day, who really cares? You and that IG model aren't standing side-by-side. All people will see when they look at you is a healthy and fit person.
Sex Sells
In one of the gyms I worked in, they once hired an attractive woman as a trainer. She, however, knew zero about fitness and was egregiously out of her element. She was damn near an insurance liability and the entire staff knew it.
Yet, in just a few weeks, she had a ton of new clients.
Why? Well, I overheard a lot of conversations from gymgoers and, well, all the male members wanted to train with her.
It was just that easy.
Sex sells. Why? A lot of people (not all, but quite a few) don’t pick a trainer like picking a doctor or a car mechanic—they pick with their eyes. Who do they want touching their body? Which body do they want to see in athetewear every time they come to the gym?
Now, does that mean you have to use sex to sell? Of course not. You can carve out a fantastic career in fitness without being “sexy,” etc.
Does that also mean sex is the only way to sell? Of course not. In fact, I would argue that using sex to sell is a “slippery slope” because you’ll be typecast—they’ll only know you for that one thing and it’ll be hard to be seen as something else. (Like Carlton Banks or Steve Urkel.)
“You’re no different from that movie star who let everybody look up her skirt in that film, and then did nothing but complain that nobody took her seriously as an actress… Have you seen that movie? Maris and I rented the video and, I don’t mind telling you, we pushed our beds together that night! And that was no mean feat. Her room, as you know, is across the hall.”
—Niles Crane, “Frasier”
But just know how the game is played. And watch your own biases.
There Are No Excuses
People don’t like hearing this because it puts responsibility and accountability on themselves.
But there are no excuses.
There are people with incredible physiques… and they have no legs.
There are people with incredible physiques… and they have no arms.
There are people with incredible physiques… and they’re missing key organs.
But the difference between them and everyone else is they realized the truth about fitness: There are no excuses.
If you ask any personal trainer what’s the biggest objection they face with their clients (or potential clients), the number one answer they get (assuming they can afford personal training) is time.
“I’m too busy.” “I don’t have the time.” Etc.
But that’s a crappy excuse. That’s almost as trite as a kid saying, “My dog ate my homework.”
Yeah, I get it. You’re tired. You’re busy. You have 5 kids. Your car is missing an engine. Your house is built on quicksand. You have to walk through a tornado to get to the gym. Okay, gotcha.
But there’s a saying:
“When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.”
Many people want to be coddled. Many people want to feel like they’re okay when they’re not. Many people want to hear how they’re right when they’re wrong. Many people want to shake their fists at the universe for making them whoever they are.
If you want to bury your head in the sand and live that way, by all means, go ahead. Keep arguing for your excuses. Keep telling yourself you’re right. Keep telling yourself I’m wrong. Keep making newer, more audacious excuses.
But once you read this, you’ll know. You can’t go back.
The rest is up to you.
Good luck.
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