6 Harsh Realities of Life You Can’t Avoid as You Get Older
Everything you want to be is mental. If you can think of it, you can achieve it.
“Keep trying. One day you will make it.”
My mum told me this when I was struggling at my first paid job.
I didn’t believe her. I was barely hanging on, trying to get back to my old life after a traumatic accident. The future looked bleak. I knew who I wanted to be but didn’t see a way to get there.
My daughter was six then. I had no job, and the bills were piling up. I needed money, so I got a job at a pizza shop. It was exhausting.
First time at work, I messed up the orders. The shop only had three staff, Me, a guy, Jeff, and one other girl. I worked as a waitress, delivery girl, and cleaner.
It was a shitty job. I had no social life. I worked two shifts so that I could meet my monthly expenses. The pay wasn’t encouraging. And the nasty customers who made me feel less than I already felt about myself.
On my way to work, I often pass one five-star hotel. Every month I would go and ask the gateman if they were hiring. If I got a job there, I would have more opportunities than at the pizza shop. But that didn’t happen.
One day, while I was out for a delivery, I saw a model doing a photoshoot at a nearby park. I stopped to watch. She was beautiful. Elegant. Almost the same height as I was. But she looked very wealthy.
I was always a dreamer with big ideas and ridiculous plans, but I could not make those plans a reality because I told myself I wasn’t good enough.
I remained in that bubble and sabotaged any chances of a better life. As long as I believed I wasn’t enough, I stayed stagnant.
That morning, as I watched the model pose for the cameraman, I felt strong energy overwhelm me.
It was hope. I thought to myself, “I could be her.” “I can do this.” But what should I do? Who do I go to?
There were no browsing phones then, and social media didn’t exist. Models signed up through agencies. I didn’t know anyone to put me through. I didn’t know how to use a computer or browse the internet. I didn’t see a way to pursue a modeling career by myself.
Even if I know of an agency to sign up with, I may not be accepted since I’m Black in a racist country. With that, I gave up that dream. I went on to deliver the pizza to my customer and forgot all about modeling.
About eighteen months later, I was serving a customer, one of our regulars. She called me and asked if I would be interested in being a model for her new collection. I almost dropped what I was holding and leaped for joy.
She hired me as a contract model for three weeks. By the end of my contract, she introduced me to an agency, and she became my manager.
It was like a dream come true. Before I knew it, I started modeling for fashion magazines and beauty and cosmetic brands.
I got to travel the world. Shake hands with famous celebrities and attend events of prominent people. Life as a model is exciting, but it also has its cons.
Sometimes I felt depressed by the pressure to act out of my character. That’s why I quit using a manager. I started managing myself, so I could have more control over the jobs I take.
“When you feel positive, you become more motivated and inspired to go for your dreams and become successful.” — Gabor Cadman, Confidence
You are all you ever want to be. If you can reach deep and find yourself
What limiting story are you telling yourself? Maybe you are telling yourself that you’ll never find love or that you’ll never find your dream job.
These stories limit your chances of a better life. The difference between you and the people living a successful life is the stories you tell yourself.
Changing that history is one of the most important steps in changing your life.
I learned to change my story. I chose to seek out solutions rather than dwell on my problems. Life has taught me many lessons in my years on earth, but I will never forget five lessons that gave direction to my dreams.
Life is what you make it.
Life is full of ups and downs. We cannot control our struggles, but we can control how those challenges affect us when we can choose shame over fame or pain over victory through our thought process.
Some self-made millionaires and enlightened people suffered a lot before their success. Nelson Mandela became famous from prison, Maya Angelou was raped at a young age, and Franklin D. Roosevelt ruled the United States in a wheelchair. These famous people are a typical example of how life is what you make of it, regardless of what challenges you face.
As they say, 99% of your life is about how you react to it. So don’t wait for things to happen. You alone can determine your destiny and limit your regrets.
There is a reward for kindness.
Every act of kindness is like an endless ripple, one leading to another. If you are kind to someone, the world will also be kind to you.
Life can be difficult at times, and if we remember to help others from time to time, we will do our part to make life more pleasant for ourselves and everyone.
To live a happy and stress-free life, reach out to those who need to be uplifted. It is important to remain kind, forgiving, and respectful. These are characteristics you must maintain and cultivate.
Self-sabotage is toxic.
I used to think I wasn’t good enough. I would compare myself to others and think, “Damn, she’s so much better than me.” Modeling taught me not to compare myself to other people.
When your career depends on your looks, and you’re constantly losing jobs to women who look better than you, it can put you in a real bind. You become mentally and physically vulnerable.
It got so bad that I had to remove all behavior that encouraged comparison altogether. It’s a habit I’m so thankful I broke. Respect yourself. Learn to be yourself all the time.
Acceptance is hard, but it sets you free.
You have to accept that life is not perfect. The world we live in is far from perfect. There will always be unrest in nature, government, and society. The people around you are far from perfect, and neither are you.
Our weaknesses and shortcomings are often seen by others, others who can help us overcome them. But not before we replace our pride with humility and seek help from others.
So stop pretending you are perfect and accept that some things are beyond your control. Not everyone wants what’s best for you, and that’s okay. Learn to live with all kinds of people.
Start living an authentic and vulnerable life just like another person because it is in our weakness that we find our greatest community and fellowship.
No one will care more about you than you.
It may sound harsh, but it’s true. Of course, you have your family and some close friends. They will take special interest in different areas of your life and help you when needed. But they don’t care about you as much as you care about yourself.
Through meditation, you can learn to change your mindset from victim to hero and take back control of your life. You can realize that life happens for you, not to you.
You decide what happens to you and who stays in your life. Decide to live a full and meaningful life regardless of who cares about you or not.
Do something you enjoy. Put on your favorite song and sing as loud as you can. Remember that you don’t need others to feel happy.
The things that bring happiness in your life are internal.
I used to be very materialistic. But after going through depression and other personal challenges for six years, I realized that happiness resides with me.
I realized that having a cup of coffee on my front porch and watching the stars at night is more refreshing than a five minutes massage at Carillon Resort.
Happiness is not something you can achieve when everything around you is perfect. You can find contentment, happiness, and joy even amid failure.
The most important thing is that you have inner peace. Inner peace is joy and can be found within us at all times.
Final thoughts
Everything good comes with a big obstacle you much overcome. But that shouldn’t be an excuse to limit yourself.
Make a plan for yourself and follow your heart. Pursuing your dreams, and remember that success is not easy.
You must be grounded and have a strong mind. Never let fear or doubt get in the way of your dreams. Choose your goal, set a plan, and go for it. Please don’t wait until tomorrow, do it now!
Sometimes things won’t go as planned. So don’t focus on the plan but the results. If something happens, stay grounded, and life will show you the way.
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