6 Benefits to Looking Stupid in Public

And some fun ways to do it.

Have you ever seen someone walking a hot dog on a leash down the street and talking to it like it was a real dog?

You’d think they’re crazy, right?

Well, there’s a good chance that person is actually practising social freedom.

Social freedom is the practice of intentionally and harmlessly violating societal norms in order to overcome social anxiety. It’s an offshoot of Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy, which was invented by renowned psychologist Albert Ellis in the 1950s.

Now I know what you’re thinking: less social anxiety sounds great. But you don’t want to be some weirdo who walks hot dogs down the high street, even if it might somehow make you more confident.

The good news is that you don’t have to! Walk hot dogs, that is. You’ll definitely need to look like a weirdo, I’m afraid.

However, the benefits of intentionally looking odd in public can be life-changing. And there’s a plethora of scientific research to back it up, as well as some simple case studies.

Imagine if you never felt fear or embarrassment in public again. What would you do with all that confidence?

Here’s 6 benefits you’ll discover when doing social freedom. Stay till the end for some hilarious exercises you can try yourself.

1. You’ll expose the truth about social pressure

What is that pressure we feel whenever we leave our homes?

The pressure that makes us worry about our hair, feel anxious about how we walk, and that tricks us into believing everyone is constantly staring at us.

This pressure is society’s “frame”. It’s the unspoken expectation of “properness” in public places. It’s a useful atmosphere of collective shame that prevents us all from walking around naked and sh*tting in the middle of the street.

However, it’s also all a bunch of made-up rules that make us feel insecure in our own skin.

It’s horrible. It’s claustrophobic. It’s why many of us prefer staying curled up at home in a blanket eating cookies on the sofa.

The only way out — without devolving into public defecation — is to gently push back against this “frame” and experience first-hand that nothing bad actually happens when you refuse to adhere to this societal pressure.

While in Munich I stood on a bench in front of the Rathaus and had a very loud telephone conversation while gesticulating dramatically. Literally hundreds of people stared at me. One mildly concerned German man even came up and informed me that benches are for sitting on. I politely agreed, but remained standing.

Was I terrified? Yes. Did I look like a crazy person? Yes. Was I causing anyone any harm? No.

And by god was I free!

When you choose to break the rules of how you “should” act in public, you realise there’s actually nothing there. You’re not breaking any laws, so nothing bad happens.

You don’t spontaneously combust. A demon doesn’t come out of a portal and swallow you. Almost nobody cares (or remembers) for more than a few seconds.

Social pressure doesn’t exist outside of your own head.

2. You’ll give less Fs all round

By which I mean fears, of course. When you know for sure that absolutely no one cares about you in public, your fears of being judged disappear.

You no longer have to worry about how you look or if you’re walking funny. That feeling of being stared at by everyone goes away.

And in place of this fear you feel a confidence knowing that you are the sole determiner of the way you feel.

It’s great giving less of a f*ck… I mean having less fear.

3. You’ll be able to get more of what you want

There he was, two places in front of me. He listed all the ingredients for his falafel wrap like he was reciting test answers at the front of the class. Then his eyes widened in fear as he turned to his wife and whispered, “I forgot the bloody tomatoes.”.

Rather than facing the modicum of awkwardness and asking the man making his wrap to go back and put tomatoes in it, he resigned himself to a tomato-less lunch. As they went to pay, it was his wife who spoke up and got the tomatoes added in. The sandwich maker didn’t give a damn either way.

Our social conditioning is strong, and I’m not judging the man in this example. But the limitations of even minor social anxiety are clear to see.

When you consciously choose to recondition yourself to not care about social pressure, you become more able to ask for what you want.

There are so many benefits you can get, if you’re willing to just embrace a little discomfort:

• You can get many late fees waived by just calling and asking
• You can get your current provider to give you bonuses and a discount by threatening to move to a competitor with a better offering
• You can maintain healthy boundaries in your relationship and just ask your partner to stop doing that annoying thing
• You can have the courage to ask your friend to pay you back the money they’ve owed you for weeks

4. You can find the love of your life (or just get laid)

Imagine if you never had to suffer on dating apps again.

No more hours of scrolling and swiping and feeling awful about yourself.

No more waiting and hoping for matches.

No more dumb, boring, and creepy messages.

You can free yourself once for all from the toxic dopamine addiction that dating apps force you into. And you’ll have a much better chance of finding that partner you’re looking for.

All it takes is having the confidence to walk up to someone and say “Hi, I know this is random, but you’re really cute and I just had to say hello. I’m [_____], what’s your name?”.

Naturally, this can make you feel like an absolute tool. But going out and being willing to get rejected and look stupid is one of the most effective ways to find a partner.

This practice, when done effectively, is called daygame. But you don’t need to be a pickup artist to do it. This skill is less about indiscriminately targeting women for sex, and more about having the skills and confidence to go and meet the people you’re attracted to.

All you need is a little courage and a big willingness to sometimes look stupid. I won’t lie, it’s f*cking horrible at the start. But like with all things, the more you practice, the easier it gets.

5. You’ll prove to yourself that you’re strong

I’ve said it multiple times already, doing social freedom is scary. It takes courage and a willingness to act in the face of fear.

Yet being able to feel you’re afraid and to do the thing anyway is a very powerful trait. And it’s one that you can learn.

I can think of no better to prove to yourself that you’re awesome than by conquering your fears.

6. You’ll have fun

Doing social freedom exercises alone is pretty terrifying. Doing social freedom exercises with friends is a hilarious way to spend an afternoon.

It’s that simple, really.

And speaking of social freedom exercises…

Exercises and Best Practices

At last, the bit you’ve been waiting for: the exercises.

But first, quick and important word on social freedom best practices:

• Do not harm, harass, or otherwise cause any damage to people or property
• Do not harm yourself or put yourself in danger
• Do not break any laws
• Do be mindful of your actions and your surroundings. You’re consciously choosing to break social norms, not ignorantly neglecting them. Some places are more suitable for social freedom exercises than others.
• Do have fun — remember that no one actually cares!

Instructions: Identify what makes you anxious and choose or design specific exercises to target this. Spend about 90 seconds doing the exercise.

Beginner Level

• Send an email full of grammatical errors and typos to a work colleague you respect
• Stand in line without moving forward when there’s space
• Walk backwards
• Ask employees where items right in front of you are
• Wear a silly-looking hat in public
• Ride a crowded elevator standing backward (facing the rear)

Adept Level

• Lie down for a rest in the middle of a busy pedestrian area (but don’t block the pavement)
• Ask hot dog stands if they have a bathroom
• Go around asking where the nearest STD clinic is
• Go up to someone and say “Hi, what’s your name?”, then stare at them and go “uhhhhhh” until they leave

Crazy Person

• Tie a banana on a string and run with it down the street saying “come on boy!”
• Stand somewhere noticeable and dance like you just don’t care
• Walk around singing loudly and out of tune
• Yell out five successive stops in the subway or on the bus

Disclaimer: This article is for entertainment and informational purposes only. It should not be considered medical or psycho-therapeutic advice. By reading and applying this advice you agree to take 100% responsibility for all consequences.