Thank You SO Much For Saying I Don’t Look My Age. I Feel So Much Better Now
Then I did five minutes ago
You’re at a party. People around you are from all over the place. You know some, you don’t know most, you don’t give a shit, you’re busy dancing. Not to brag, but you’re a great dancer, and you feel amazing on the dancefloor. The music is pumping through your veins, you’re hypnotized with your own movement, and then you suddenly hear a voice in your ear:
Random Dude: Hey, you’re a great dancer!
I know.
You: Thanks!
RD: What’s your name? Where are you from?
Get lost, I’m dancing.
You: Agata, Poland.
RD: How old are you?
Is this information going to change something in our meaningful relationship? You’re going home alone anyway, Sweaty Shirt.
You: I’m 30!
RD: What?! I mean... WHAT?!?! Seriously? I’d never guess! You don’t look one day over 22! Show me your ID! Ahaha… I mean, no, I’m joking. But wow, you really look so YOUNG!
You feel that your heart is warming. This is exactly what you needed. You were dancing there, depressed and filled with all these thoughts about your fading youth, but fortunately, The Random Dude came to the rescue! His well-chosen and not-at-all stupid comment saved your self-esteem, which is obviously based on other people’s perception of your supposed age.
Does anybody actually like to hear that phrase? “You don’t look your age.” Well, what do I look like then? Do I look like 11? 74 maybe? And what is the correct reply to that dumb statement? Should I fall on my knees and give fervent thanks to my savior? Just to think that a second ago, I was old and 30, but there he came and made me 22 again! I almost feel like snorting vodka shots and wearing shorts that show half of my butt.
And what does it even mean to “look some age”? My mom is 59. Courtney Cox is 59, too. I can promise you, they don’t look anything alike. For one, my mom can actually move her face. Yet, they’re both 59, and they look 59. So what the hell does it mean to look like 59?
You’re living your life, hopefully, without giving any importance to anybody’s age (cause, let’s be honest - time is an illusion, and age is just a number), and suddenly, some shallow bastard appears and makes you go through a creepy moment, just because he wanted to decide if you’re a mating material.
I don’t ask people their age simply because I think it’s irrelevant. Plus, you never know what to say when they tell you. You can’t just say “Cool” because most people expect you to say they look younger. But maybe there are individuals among them who, like me, would feel like spontaneously sending you off to Mars if they heard that answer. And you obviously can’t say, “Really? You look much older!”
Our society has officially become too obsessed with age. I mean, it’s been happening for decades, but I’m just starting to be aware of it now since I entered that moment in my life when most of my female friends started to talk about baby botox. The sheer sound of these two words put together gives me the creeps.
The funny thing is, most of them are younger than me. Apparently, I should have started a few years ago! I probably missed my chance for a baby botox and will have to take an adolescent botox instead.
I’m 30, and I’m happy to look like 30. When I’m 50, I’ll be happy to look like 50. And when I’m 80, I want to feel equally happy to look 80.
And I will if our stupid society finally accepts we are humans.
P.S. After showing this story to my Mom, she added, “I’d love to look like you when I’m your age!” to the list of things people should never say. If anybody tells you that, please feel free to force them into eating the whole jar of their antiwrinkle cream.
Agata Szymula is a travel addict with an impressive 11$ writing income a month. She spends it all on coffee, even though she’s been trying to quit for five years now. Agata’s biggest dream is to become a better writer and one day be able to buy food as well. She hates writing about herself in 3rd person, but she made an exception this time cause she saw cool people on Medium do it. If you want to support her addiction, you can buy her the next coffee ❤