50 Cent — Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter

I’ve finished listening to Hustle Harder and Hustle Smarter by Chris Jackson, also known as 50 Cent. I enjoyed listening to him talk about his highs and lows and wins and losses. I’m not going to spoil it for you if you are going to check out the book/audiobook.

However, I want to share one concept that stuck with me: the Deposit/Withdrawal method 50 Cent uses to audit his circle. I liked that analogy, and I applied the same to my circle after finishing the book.

Over time, I’ve handpicked my circle and weeded out the Withdrawals. It’s made a significant difference in the way I vibe with my tribe.

Let me explain the concept in a bit more detail below.

The Deposits

I’m not solely talking about money but also emotional/physical support. These are people who add value to your journey in some shape or form. Maybe they’re friends or family who want the best for you.

Or you enjoy hanging out with them and doing fun stuff. Instead of bringing you down, they bouy you up, and you have great conversations/discussions with them. You feel energised by meeting them and look forward to seeing them.

There’s no awkwardness, resentment or bitterness. What do they want in return? They want the same from you, too. These are the depositors I’d invite you to treasure because they can be hard to find these days.

The Withdrawers

The withdrawers always want something, whether it’s monetary, physical or emotional. They might play the manipulation game to get you to help them. Watch out for these people because it’s always a one-way street for them and not a two-way avenue.

They’re the types who grudgingly might help you when you’re in need, but it’s never on your terms, only theirs. You’ll likely feel drained by their energy when you meet up with them. You might also feel miserable afterwards because you’ve unintentionally taken on their ‘mental baggage’.

What are the traits you should watch out for? Manipulation, psychological games, victim mindset, heavy energy, or negativity. They find it hard to watch others succeed. God forbid if someone surpasses them.

Imagine The Following:

Beth and Toni have known each other since their College days. They both went to different colleges but had a mutual friend who connected them. They would meet at mutual social events but weren’t friends until they both relocated to London.

Beth contacted her friend to get Toni’s details because she wanted to visit her in London. That’s how the friendship developed. In the beginning, things were fine. Both got married and had young families, and it was natural for the families to hang out together often.

However, the cracks started to appear in the relationship over time as Beth experienced life’s challenges. She increasingly relied on Toni for emotional and moral support and frequently ‘cried on her shoulders’ when things started getting challenging for her or her family. Beth frequently blamed others for her predicament but rarely took accountability for her actions.

The friendship started becoming a one-way withdrawal, with Beth relying too much on Toni, but it wasn’t reciprocated at the same level. Toni was oblivious to the relationship change but was happy to help when possible. She thought she was doing a good deed for a friend.

As the children grew up and the families spent less time together, the friendship continued, primarily over the phone between the two friends. Beth would phone Toni whenever she felt like it, even late in the evening. The conversations were never less than an hour.

Beth would often turn up at Toni’s house late in the evening, sometimes unannounced. Yet, Toni felt she couldn’t do the same.

So, why didn’t Toni stop the one-way street friendship? Toni didn’t pick up the ‘red flags’ because she always felt sorry for her. Beth and Toni are still ‘friends’, but Beth resents Toni and her happy life.

As you can see, Beth is the Withdrawal party in this friendship. She’s been ‘dumping’ her energy on Toni. It doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship because Beth hasn’t sorted out her emotional baggage, leading to her unhappiness within herself.

If Toni had audited her circle often, she would have picked up on the red flags long ago, but she didn’t. Instead, she made allowances and brushed them ‘under the carpet’.

What should Toni do? She shouldn’t cut Beth off entirely because it’s an old friendship, but she started to reduce the time and energy she invested in Beth.

Regular Audits

Auditing your circle should be an ongoing process. As you evolve, review your relationships to ensure they align with your growth and well-being.

You might find the following helpful checklist to help you audit your circle.

1. Self-Reflection: Understand Your Needs

2. Identify Your Inner Circle — Who’s your tribe?

3. Assess Emotional Impact — Deposit/Withdrawal

4. Evaluate Support and Encouragement — Who is batting on the same side as you?

5. What’s Their Outlook Like? Positive or Negative?

6. Align with Values — Your values may be similar, which leads to deeper connections and understanding.

7. Review Communication Dynamics — What’s the Communication like online and offline?

8. Identify Negative Influences — Identify relationships that bring negativity, criticism, or stress into your life.

9. Gradual Transition — Gradually eliminate those not conducive to your growth. This doesn’t necessarily mean completely cutting ties but reducing the time and emotional energy you invest in them.

10. Cultivate New Connections — keep building bridges with new connections.

11. Prioritise Quality Over Quantity — not the size of your connections that matter, but the quality.

Parting Comments

I believe you will meet many withdrawers and depositors in life. Some come in many guises, but it’s essential to audit your circle because it is a journey of self-care, growth, and empowerment.

When you surround yourself with individuals who inspire and uplift you, you create an environment supporting your personal and professional aspirations.

Remember that you have the power to shape your inner circle, and by doing so, you’re taking a significant step towards a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

Thank you for your attention.

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Pervin

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