50 Amusing Things Women Have Said To Me

Expressions that make you wonder what women really think and want!?

Women are the most fascinating creatures on this planet. There exist much wonder and mystery about them, and the things they usually say. I have been a herald to such events and happenings that have sometimes caused me to feel enlightened by the many comments, compliments, and statements received by the many women that have walked into my life or me theirs.

“…For like a rugged tree you are hard and sound at the core.” ― H. Rider Haggard

As much as I hate to admit, I can definitely say these moments were the definitive points in that time that I was blasted with humorous slurs, insults, and even the strangest compliments that were never my intention to receive.

While some were very kind, and most were very discerning, to say the least.

But yes, in life if you want to understand a woman, let alone anyone, you need patience and resilience. Thus, that’s what I did, and thus received many amusing commentaries that I believe you would love to read, share, and reflect upon.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. — Milton Berle

Here are 50 amusing things women have said to me over the years, that have a story, philosophy, and deep connotations connected to each one of them as they were engraved in my existence and soul.

1. Why do you never talk about sex?
2. Are you religious?
3. Haww, you’ll go to hell if you don’t pray to God?
4. Are you trying to (having a soft voice/copy my voice)belittle me?
5. You’re so cute but we can’t be friends!
6. Why do you have a poker face?
7. Do you remember me?
8. Hey, remember the time when I sent you a letter?
9. You talk stupid, but are really hot!
10. You seem to have a way around with words, so I’m interested lol!
11. That’s some next-level flirting(I never did), you should write a poetry book. I’m sure it will be a best seller.
12. Are you a writer? I think you’d be good at it.
13. Are you a writer? Your words made me blow off some steam.
14. Are you a writer? I’m sure as heaven you’ll get love and appreciation.
15. You talk a lot, I can’t understand you, I have poor English meanwhile writing the entire sentence in perfect grammar.
16. We have the same initials, zodiac, and same age. Call it a coincidence, Haha!
17. Are you some kind of shaman or psychic? It felt like you read my life path.
18. What is HMU 😜 😜??
19. So you’re a photographer, do you photograph models?
20. Ask me a question, I asked, and she replied, “I’m confused”.
21. My week has been full of passion, how did you guess??
22. Are you a poet? You made me long for a sexual connection and a deep intimacy for you but you’re too far.
23. You’re getting fatter, women won’t really like you when you’re fat?
24. I loved your foreplay, it is actually much more passionate and vivid than the actual foreplay I’ve experienced in my life.
25. I’m excited by your intelligence, as a mental caress is more pleasuring than a physical. It got me more excited than anything.
26. I enjoyed the way you described human connection, perhaps I will hit you up, you just have to wait and see. 😜
27. Intimacy is something I do enjoy experiencing with many people, in a nonsexual way.
28. You type like a Boss and talk like an Idiot.
29. Don’t make me lose interest in you!
30. Isn’t it enough I approached you, Idiot?
31. Where are you going?, Stay here and speak to meh, I like privacy more.
32. “I’m sleepy, come pat my head” to which I replied, “I’m sure some people would be delighted to do that” to which she said, “You’d be too” to which I exclaimed, “Nah, I’m cool 😅”
33. Heylo? Sup? Lets Date? On your next Birthday?
34. Well for starters, you’re intelligent, having a good personality pretty unpredictable and say many things but don’t say why!
35. Do you really aspire to become a writer or a poet? I’ll be the first one to buy the books you write!
36. Every time you tell me something, it just sounds so funny! You are so dope, man, you seem pretty cool tho.
37. You’re freaking deep dude, who might expose people’s fears! You’re a good guy, I won’t like spreading shit to you, my dude!
38. Her: Well, I’m a girl interested in dudes but I’m sure you’re beautiful the way you are. There are 7 billion people in this world. Someone will love you girl ❤️ Me: But I’m a Boy 😜 Her: Oh shit, sorry someone will love you boy 😆
39. What’s the problem? Don’t you find me attractive 😜? Tell me, don’t talk in riddles!
40. Your life seems like a videogame, all but obstacles, challenges, defeats, and failures. I love your perspective on it!
41. Listening to you itself sounds like you’re a very enthusiastic individual, with a multitude of thoughts and expressions. It would be interesting to imagine the spontaneity your brain has to cope with, during the emission of all these.
42. What a gentleman you are, you have perhaps lived pretty difficult life, but the way you write it so humorously tells me that you’re definitely glad about it.
43. Will, you really take me on a date? No man has ever asked me that.
44. You were very charismatic and gentle. Your parents raised you right!
45. You have a very soothing voice, the kind that I could sleep while listening to on a record forever — never waking up.
46. You have a very sad, gloomy tone at times, but it’s so peaceful.
47. I just feel myself with you, and never have to sugarcoat myself when I’m around you.
48. There is no filter with you, I like that about you; you’re at times too wise and smart for your own good.
49. I would marry you within a heartbeat if I wasn’t your best friend or far.
50. You are a good man, will be a great father, and a charming husband. Any woman who falls for you will be lucky to have you, knowing that you will always be someone who will be there for the people he loves — sadly I’m a celibate.