5 Ways Twin Flame Love Is Different
Traditional dating advice doesn’t apply to twin flames.
Dating coaches will tell you one thing and your therapist might tell you another. Spiritual coaches talk about the divine feminine and divine masculine energies. But all of this is irrelevant when you’ve met your twin flame. Normal psychology doesn’t apply to twin flames and it feels like you have no idea what’s going on. Human behavior isn’t usually like this!
You’ve been sucked into the black hole of twin flamery. Your twin flame will be someone you’re incredibly attracted to, who also drives you nuts, and who you simply cannot seem to forget. No matter how you try, they’ll always be on your mind. (This applies to the runner and the chaser, you’ll be happy to know — and I explain more below.)
I hear a lot of stories in my journey as a twin flame expert. People of all walks of life have told me about their twin flames and their wild adventures with them. There’s no way to make total sense of it except to surrender to the fact that it will never make sense. But there are a few things I’ve noticed by listening to countless twin flame clients’ stories, and it is worth explaining to the world how twin flames can’t fit into a “normal” mold of dating and relationships — or even the widely-accepted concept of love.
Twin flames are here to wake us up to the fact that there is a higher form of love.
There’s love. And then there’s unconditional, eternal, pure, earth-shattering, soul-level love — that’s twin flame love.
1. The Twin Flame Runner and Chaser Dynamic Fits No Dating Standard
Chasers are usually the ones who seek my advice as a twin flame coach, and I’ve heard many stories. I’ve heard many times how the runner was thinking of the chaser the whole time they were away. This is one example of something that simply makes no sense to most people — why would a person who is obsessed with you ignore you for days, weeks, and even years? Why would they pursue other relationships when they know you’ve always been in their heads?
I can give you an answer to this: it’s because you terrify them and at the same time, they’re madly in love with you. Their egos are keeping them in fear of accepting your love while their souls see the connection as clear as day. it’s a constant struggle between head and heart.
When you tell your friends about this person who is running from you because the intensity of love scares them, they don’t get it. People living in the mundane world — in the matrix — just don’t have the ability to grasp such things. they’ve never experienced this level of true and eternal love. It isn’t something we normally talk about. Dating coaches, social media, and friends will all encourage you to have boundaries and play the dating game on a certain blueprint, but there are no standards like this with twin flames.
The flames are drawn together and yet repel each other at the same time. It’s wild. And there’s always the chance that when they finally figure out how to come together in union, one of them will die. They don’t usually consider that in books about relationship advice!
2. Love At First Sight Happens
People will keep trying to convince you that you can’t love someone till you get to know them. They’ll tell you that it’s a red flag for someone to be madly in love with you — obsessed, even — upon first meeting. This is probably good advice for most people in the mundane world. But when you meet your twin flame, this is normal stuff!
You don’t need to “get to know” this person. They’ve been with you for all of eternity. Your soul knows their soul through and through. “Getting to know” people is a human-level activity. That’s what we do in this physical existence. But a twin flame smacks you in the face with the realization that there’s more to existence than meets the eye.
When you’ve met your twin flame, you can’t deny that there are souls. Some souls already knew each other before they ever met. They’ve lived thousands of lifetimes together. “Love at first sight” is just an experience of one lifetime, and it’s very real.
3. Gender Doesn’t Matter
Twin flame love is different. In normal relationships, sometimes we have to balance the feminine and masculine energies. I am always trying to figure out how to get out of my more masculine side and embody the divine feminine energy. It’s a battle. But it also works in relationships, and I’ve seen it.
However, with my twin flame, it was just natural how we were drawn to each other. And he could have been a woman. I could have been a man. Surely, in previous lifetimes, we have incarnated as many things! So, the balance of yin and yang isn’t as crucial. We have a lot that transcends this human form.
Your twin flame love will seem like a natural, easy, comfortable attraction — and a dance that has little to do with your actual bodies or genders in this lifetime. I know it sounds weird to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but it is true — we see past the physical and into the soul-level truth of who we are with our twin flame.
4. Normal Dating Mind Games Don’t Work
With twin flames, you won’t follow any normal dating patterns you’ve ever encountered before. You’ll be so drawn to them in the beginning, and they’ll be all over you, too. Then, there will be a period of separation. But it won’t make sense. It won’t be for any textbook reason.
You can’t ignore them to make them come back. You can’t wait three days and then call to make it work. You can’t use jealousy to bring them back to you.
All you can do is work on yourself.
This is probably how most relationships work on some level, but with a twin flame, they mirror you so strongly that your inner work will help them heal too. So do your journalling, your meditation, your self-care, and spending time alone. Do the work. They’ll be back. They will heal simultaneously along with your healing — even if you’re miles apart.
5. The Soul Connection Is the Main Thing
Just know that you have to get out of your ego with twin flames. It’s about coming back to love and oneness. It’s not about struggles and mind games. All the struggles you have with your twin flame are on the ego, human level. The love is real and it’s always there on the soul level. You feel it strongly and it is at odds most of the time with your ego-level thoughts.
Being human is hard. Being a twin flame on the soul level is perfect and easy.
It’s all a lesson in releasing your ego and giving in to divine love.
Hi, I’m Emily. I’m the author of the book Twin Flames and the Love Story Within. In addition to writing, I also teach meditation, read tarot, create podcasts, and offer spiritual coaching. I am a twin flame coach and I run a twin flame support group. If my writing helps you, you’re always welcome to buy me a coffee.
The divine in me recognizes the divine in you.
More of my posts about twin flames:
