5 Ways to Transform Worry Into Wisdom
Easy-to-use self-help techniques for calming worry
Do you worry a lot? I used to be a big worrier.
For example, I would be on pins and needles whenever my former partner flew until he touched down safely.
Why? Did I truly believe my worry would keep him safe?
Eventually, I realized: Worry never helps. It only harms me.
Since that “aha” moment, I worry far less. I haven’t extinguished worry entirely, but it’s no longer a prominent force in my life.
The Downsides of Worry
I’m glad I was able to change my relationships to worry because spending too much time in this unpleasant mental state can have a wide range of consequences.
According to WebMD, worry can adversely impact your relationships, job performance, and your ability to get a restful night’s sleep. Worry may cause you to neglect healthy lifestyle habits, reach for addictive substances, and may even throw you into high anxiety.
WebMD also says:
“When worries and anxiety become excessive, chances are you’ll trigger the stress response.”
If worry turns into chronic stress, you can experience symptoms like headaches, insomnia, and muscle aches. Chronic stress can contribute to major problems too like immune issues, digestive disorders, and heart disease.
We don’t want that, do we?
“Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not.” ― Ana Monnar
5 Simple Antidotes to Worry
These are five antidotes I’ve used to successfully subdue the worry-prone part. of me. See if one or two might feel workable to you.
1. Tell Yourself: This Isn’t Happening Right Now
Worry usually means you’re caught ruminating in the past or anticipating the future. Instead, when a worry thought or feeling arises, come back to the present moment. Remind yourself:
“This isn’t happening right now. It’s just a thought moving through my mind.”
Embrace the Dalai Lama’s advice:
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
In other words, if there’s a solution, take action. If not, let go.
2. Change the Channel
When your mind drifts to worry, use your senses to help bring you back to the present moment.
Notice what you see, hear, feel (physical sensations), smell or taste right now. For example, “I see a yellow wall and hear birds chirping and a weed whacker in the background.”
You don’t need to announce it to yourself out loud. Just be aware of what your senses are receiving without creating thoughts about it. If thoughts do arise, just let them go and return your attention to your senses.
This is a simple form of mindfulness practice.
3. Use an Affirmation
Create an affirmation to replace the worry thought. Craft one that goes to the core of your fear.
For example, “I feel safe.” Or “I have everything I need in this moment.”
Then, whenever the worry thought comes, immediately apply the affirmation in its place. You’ll need to do this repeatedly to change the worry patterns because they have been engraved in your mind. But it is possible.
Or, as the quote below suggests, count your blessings.
“Turn your attention for a while away from the worries and anxieties. Remind yourself of all your many blessings.” — Ralph Marston
4. Love Yourself, Worry and All
Tapping is a method of gently and repeatedly touching specific acupuncture points on the body to release emotional patterns, unhelpful beliefs, and stuck energy.
Most people repeat a phrase when they tap related to their issue.
I love this phrase, one that’s commonly used in Tapping: “Even though I_______, I completely love and accept myself.”
When worry comes to your mind, fill in the blank in with “worry” and repeat the phrase to yourself.
“Even though I worry, I completely love and accept myself.”
If you’re curious about tapping, another great tool for reducing worry, give it a try. Watch and tap along to this live demo with Nick Ortner, author of The Tapping Solution shows Business Coach, Marie Foleo how to tap.
5. Set Aside Time for Worry
According to Psychology Today, several studies have shown setting aside a specific time to worry is an effective way to reduce it.
Follow this simple protocol.
- Set aside a specific time each day — 30 minutes — to think or write about your worries and explore solutions. Make it the same time each day, but don’t schedule it close to bedtime.
- Intentionally avoid thinking about worries at other times of the day. If a worry arises, it probably will at first, remind yourself you’ll focus on it during your special worry/solution period.
Most people who use this technique notice a positive shift in two weeks’ time.
Living from Your Wise Self
You transform worry into wisdom when you consciously take steps to quell it. You begin to live from the wise place in you who knows:
- Everything changes—it’s the natural way of the world.
- Resisting change or worrying about it only harms you.
- Change sometimes comes unexpectedly. It can be shocking but still requires your acceptance.
- There’s very little that we can control in this world aside from our own minds and emotions.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” — Lao Tzu
Closing Thoughts
I would never make light of worry given all the challenges we face in this life—from the coronavirus to financial hardship to health problems and more. It’s completely understandable that someone would fall into worry.
If you do, I want you to know, there’s a way out. Try one or more of these antidotes to worry and see if you find relief.
- Tell yourself: This isn’t happening right now.
- Change the channel
- Use an Affirmation
- Love yourself, worry and all
- Set aside time for worry
Be patient. It takes time to rewire your brain.
Celebrate every time you let go of a worry thought. Consciously enjoy the sense of relief you feel instead. This will help reinforce the change.
Look forward to living from your wise self, more and more each day.
[Note: If you can’t shake worry or suffer from anxiety, be sure to get support from a trained mental health professional.]
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I appreciate this piece from Biliz Maharjan on the “two-minute” rule of habit change. It gives me hope I can develop new habits in places I have been stuck. Wouldn’t that be awesome!
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