5 Ways to Not Mean Girl Yourself in 2020 and Finally Be Your Own BFF

I’m sorry, what did you say? What is the voice in your head saying to you all day that no one can hear?

Is it possible that you are actually Mean Girling yourself?

If so, I want to give you a hug because I know why you’re doing it.

First, let’s just get clear on what a “Mean Girl” does. They harass, criticize, shame and ostracize others. Research shows that being targeted can have devastating, long-lasting effects on happiness, self-concept and success.

So what if you are actually doing this to yourself? Those mean words in your head are having more of an effect on your life than you realize.

By consistently criticizing yourself, you are sabotaging your own greatness and blocking all of the magical opportunities that are trying to flow your way. Every time you say, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m so stupid,” in your head, you are subconsiously creating a reality that will reflect that.

Let’s get that Mean Girl out of your head and find that Inner BFF that is waiting to slather self love all over you.

First, let’s take a quick inventory to see where you are with the top 3 habits that I have found as a Master Coach which influence people’s lives the most. Be honest with yourself here. We’ll keep this between you and me, because I completely understand why you are doing this (I’ll tell you in a minute.)

In my 18 years of helping clients find the breakthroughs they are searching for, one of the main things we work on is self-talk. What they are saying to themselves will always come out in the way they talk about their lives. I can pick up on their self concept within a few short minutes because women tend to to tear themselves down. This usually falls into the following 3 categories.

Which ones do you practice more?

Mean Girl — OR — Own BFF

1. Self doubt — or — Self trust?

2. Self criticism — or — Self confidence?

3. Self shame — or — Self love?

If you leaned to the left up there, you are not alone, and you CAN create change immediately. It’s time to not only be your own BFF, but be your own Mental CEO and take control of that voice inside your head.

Believe me when I tell you that this will be the MOST POWERFUL shift you can make in 2020.

It is my firm belief that YOU are an insanely powerful creator and that whatever you believe to be true and speak as truth, will, in fact, become true . . . especially when it comes to yourself.

Let’s take a moment to understand WHY you are so hard on yourself, because what you need first is COMPASSION for what created these habits.

You weren’t born believing any of it. This was created by something outside of you.

Strong negative self-beliefs usually come from four life experiences:

1. Being raised by a parent(s) that did not offer you unconditional love and possibly abandoned, ignored or abused you.
2. Being raised by a Mom who always belittled herself (and tolerated being belittled), and so you learned to do the same.
3. Being raised by a narcissistic or controlling parent(s) who constantly shamed you.
4. Experiencing a painful relationship or break-up with someone who caused you to doubt the essence of who you were.

This is where I give you another big *hug* and tell you that I am so sorry if you went through any or all of these scenarios. I did too, and I know the painful effect it can have on how much we love ourselves.

We learn as children by what we witness in our homes, especially when it comes to relationships and self-concept. We subconsciously become wired to repeat those same patterns, even if they cause us great pain.

These beliefs about self-love, self-confidence and self-trust become a part of our cognitive and emotional imprints and get played out in our daily lives, largely affecting our relationships and work success.

It’s time to stop that Mean Girl in her tracks and evict her from your head because she is seriously getting in the way of all that you really want — love, vibrancy and amazing happiness. When you remove all of those limiting beliefs that are blocking your love flow, you will find yourself leading a life that is easier, positive and more productive than anything in your past.

Let’s get this party started.

Here are 5 Ways Not to Mean Girl Yourself in 2020 & Finally Be Your Own BFF:

1. Trade the words “should” and “need to” with “want to.”

This is a simple practice that will have tremendously positive effects on your mindset. It releases shame and brings in clarity.

For example, instead of saying, “I really should stop eating so unhealthy,” say, “I really want to stop eating so unhealthy.”

Instead of self-judgment, you create a choice. Powerful.

2. Be your own Comparison Cop.

Stay in your mind’s watchtower. When you hear your inner voice comparing you to others, blow the whistle because you are instantly blocking your own greatness. Guard your self-esteem and stop attaching it to other people.

Instead of giving into feeling ‘less than’, say, “What they are doing has nothing to do with me. I am doing the best that I can and am growing every day.”

3. Acknowledge the why and let it float by.

When you hear negative self-talk pop up in your head, take away its power by giving yourself compassion and simply acknowledging why it is there.

Say, “Oh, there is that thing I think again. I see it and know where it came from. In this moment, I choose not to let it overtake me. I will let it float on by.” And then visually see the words float through and past you.

4. Keep a Feel Good File.

Keep a file of glowing remarks and messages that people have said to you and about you. Each time something makes you feel proud of yourself, record it here.

During moments of self-doubt, click on your Feel Good File, believe what it says and absorb the positive energy. To start this file, ask your 3 besties right now what they see as your most positive qualities and let all the love sink into a permanent place.

5. Become a “What If” Girl.

Every time you feel insecurity creeping in, decide that you are going to play the What If Game with yourself. Smirk at that old voice in your head and say a “What if . . . “ sentence that shifts your mindset to positive curiosity. This will change outcomes.

For example, when you think, “I could never ask for a raise — I am too afraid of my boss,” play the game and say,

“What if I let go of doubt and walked into her office with happy confidence and clarity? What if my request made perfect sense? Then what if I let go of the outcome and trusted that the Universe has my back?

And, what if I got what I really wanted?”

In the words of Willy Wonka, the answer is, “You’ll live happily ever after.”

Now, go and BFF yourself right into the Best Year of Your Life.

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If you are struggling with self-doubt and letting go of your past, Dr. Karin is offering a FREE 5 day virtual BREAK FREE BOOTCAMP (Feb. 3–7, 2020) to get you unhitched from the pain of your past and linked up with the potential of your NOW. Click here to sign up for FREE!