SATIRE

5 Spammy Ways to Get Attention for Your Writing on Facebook Groups

Gain unrestricted access to link drop secrets.

I know what you want.

More attention for your stories.

You have spent so much effort changing the structures of other people’s content to pass it off as your own. It is only right that these stories get what they deserved.

As an owner of a Facebook writing community group, I see an endless stream of attempts by genuine paraphrasers struggling to make it big. I get so emotional that my laptop reboots because my tears of sorrow seep into the keyboards.

What have they done to be tormented by such a cruel fate of low readership? Writing an original story is tough enough, I cannot imagine the horrors of trying to make someone’s work seem original.

Today, you are in luck.

Find below, tips on how you can get more attention for your stories. This is the result of my extensive research work done while moderating the group.

Leave your story link on every post made by others

Ease of execution: Easy | Effectiveness: Average

This is the most basic of all tactics to gain attention. People like their posts to be read and commented on. Therefore, fire away and leave the link to your story as a comment. This gives them a sense of appreciation that someone is noticing their work.

It doesn’t matter if you did not read. How will they know? After all, we are giving them the best of support, a hope that we read their work!

Their eyes will be wet, and it is only right that they click on your link as a show of gratitude.

There are other writers who waste their time reading, interacting, and posting their links. Ha! The idea is to blend in among them.

Leave your story link on every post made by others, telling them you have read their story

Ease of execution: Average | Effectiveness: Good (While it lasts)

It is time to move up the ladder. Besides leaving your story link as a comment, boldly claim that you have read their story. This is more than giving them hope. You are giving them the affirmation that their stories are worth reading.

Ok. I can hear the lot of you groaning away. Do I really need to read every single story? Of course not, you fool! Your time is better spent searching for more stories to rehash as your own.

Will your cover be blown? Well, based on statistics, eventually you will meet one irritating nerd who checks and discovers your secret. But hey, at least you got some attention already, right?

Here is a bonus tip. To show that you are a person of unique perspectives, leave your comment unchanged even when it is not fitting. This creates an impact and draws them in to read your revolutionary story.

Example: Writer: Hey community! This is a story about how I tried to cope with the loss of my cat. Hope it resonates. Your carefully crafted comment for maximum emotional impact: Hi! I read and love it. It is inspiring and refreshing. Check out mine at xyz.xyz!

If the above did not work, they may not like the topic. Post another link

Ease of execution: Tough | Effectiveness: Great

So here's the thing. Your carefully selected story did not get their attention. Those losers don’t know a fine work of plagiarism when they see one. It is ok.

As writers, we must write for our readers.

Select another story that you think will connect better. If you are spoilt for choices, choose one at random. You know they always say; the universe responds when you put in your best. Trust that a fitting story will be chosen.

Go back to the same post and leave the link to your next story. Do not change your comment as consistency is key for success. Just replace the link!

Strategically choose posts where the writers say to not leave links and leave yours

Ease of execution: Tough | Effectiveness: Fantastic

This is difficult. You do not get posts that specifically state that they do not want links so often. Hence you have to be patient.

But I promise you, the impact will be phenomenal.

Why? Because this will upset the writers and force them to look at your comment before they try to report you.

Here comes the important part. If you choose the right article, it will touch them as it is obvious you did extensive research on their preferences.

Instead of reporting you, they will click the link, read your story 5 times and follow you for more.

Oh, what? You want more? Now you know I wasn’t lying when I said these are great tips.

Alright. I am feeling generous today so I will share with you my ultimate tip to get attention for your story in a Facebook group. I must warn you, it is not easy to pull this off, but it will be a blast!

When the administrator posts an announcement about spam, you place your link right there in the center stage

Ease of execution: Worse than plagiarizing | Effectiveness: It is like you invented electricity. (One-time use only)

There you have it. I kept it a secret for the longest time, but your sincerity moved me.

This is almost impossible to execute. Administrators do not see the need to post such announcements unless there is a spam problem or they have nothing better to do.

You need to strategically place your chess pieces for this. Either spam so much in the group while remaining below the radar or make the administrator really bored.

When the administrator finally posts that announcement about spam, you fearlessly leave your link right there and then!

While you will be banned without a doubt, your link gets maximum visibility before that occurs as it rides on an announcement. People will admire your can-do attitude and visionary action to seize the day so much that it compels them to read your story.

After the ban, simply find a new group. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Take Away

Obviously, this is satire.

These are some of the worst ways to participate in a community of writers. If you find yourself doing this, I urge you to re-look at your purpose for writing.

My meaningful interactions with readers and other writers have brought me so much joy!

Why didn’t I start writing earlier?!

So if you are a spammer, you are definitely missing out on a big chuck of what writing is really all about.

I hope you enjoyed reading and laughing as much as I did while writing.

If it pleases you, it will be my honor for you to visit my group.

But please, kindly do not spam. It will not work here.

Life can be stressful at times, and a little laughter can help.

I write full-time for you as it gives me purpose in life. Your support helps me to worry less about putting food on the table. Find out why.

If you can’t get enough of this ground-breaking content, read this:

Disclaimer

The above tips do not work unless you need help getting banned from a Facebook writing community group. I am not responsible for any situations arising from reading this article! All done in the name of fun and love. No disrespect meant to anyone.