5 Ways to Generate Success in Your Relationships

A relationship is as successful as what is in it

The secret to creating sustainable success in life sorely depends on the quality of your relationships. It goes without that saying that you become who you surround yourself with. There is substantial evidence to back up this theory ranging from personal testimonies to scientific research.

The psychology of mirror neurons confirms this belief. Adi Jaffe, Ph.D., founder of the IGNTD Hero Program and author of The Abstinence Myth, fluently elucidates:

Mirror neurons allow us to learn through imitation so that we respond not only to our own internal states or environmental stimuli but to actions, movements, and emotional states of other people.

Consider the grooming of a newborn, the child matures and learns basic life skills by emulating the attitudes and behaviors of the parents. The first seven years of a child are enormously pivotal. During this period, the child is learning the written and unwritten modus operandi of societal constructs.

Throughout my life, I have had to relocate numerous times for a variety of reasons. Whether it was school-related, personal, or family-driven, it did not matter because it implied that I had to start over in mending new friendships or relationships.

It can be exhausting after a while. I have learned five principles that have enabled me to transcend the multifaceted aspects of human activity. Allow me to elaborate.

Be you and do what you do best

Authenticity is your credit line. Can we all agree on one simple truth: nobody likes a fake. I think we often lose touch with ourselves when we try hard to impress others. In most instances, we become consumed by regret because we either find out that our preconceived notions led us astray or the other person showed us their true colors.

One simple fact is that your birth was an undeniable confirmation. You have already won. The sperm that fertilized the egg won the race. You are a whole and magnificent creature. Learn to appreciate that phenomenon, and you will come to understand that your existence is not an accident.

Nobody can be you or outdo your presence, for that matter. Even if they tried, they would repeatedly fail because they do not possess the greatness that lies within you. You have unique gifts specifically tailored to you; learn to embrace them. More importantly, learn to refine them.

It is by being you that you bring out the best in others.

Generosity will make room for your gifts

“The good earth is rich and can provide for everyone” — Charlie Chaplin

Not only is generosity a noble act, but it shows you have a vested interest in the success of others. Take: a moment to reflect on someone who has had a profound impact on your life and specifically on the moment it happened. Perhaps, you were going through a difficult, and that person inherently knew what to say to liberate you from self-pity.

No amount of experience or social skills can independently insulate you through a crisis. You are eventually going to need help whether you like it or not. You never know when tough times are going to come. But, having those loved ones you can rely on always makes a huge difference.

One other thing to consider is to stop keeping score. That mindset breeds the gloom of manipulation. No relationship has ever succeeded when one party was manipulating the other.

Ain’t no such thing as self-made because that would also imply a humble beginning is nonexistent. Each person plays a role in the success of someone.

Value your time

Our world of distractions is ever-increasing. Attention has become the most valuable commodity. Perhaps, could it be that our desperate need for it has fostered its foothold in our modern society?

Perplexing questions fester in our midst, yet no one can provide solutions.

In this day and age, learn to value your time and peace of mind. The time you squander aimlessly chasing fleeting instant gratifications, you are never going to get back. However, if the latter point suits you and you find it fulfilling, then by all means, digress.

At this point in my life, I will rather be concentrating on things that nurture my soul. I prefer to engage in activities that refine my gifts so that I can abundantly serve others. The world is in dire need of it.

Do you ever consider that finding time to learn from others or build with like-minded people may conceivably be what you are missing? Who knows what benefits are to be reaped from such labor? The only way to find that out is to make that decision for yourself.

Integrity is non-negotiable

The key to ensuring sustainable growth in life is to remain true to yourself. Despite how long it may take to get there. A goal achieved by overcoming hardship reaps better benefits than a goal half-assed. When building genuine relationships, you must be reliable and trustworthy. You have to say what you mean and mean what you say. You cannot leave any room for interpretation.

You cannot allow the environment to dictate what kind of attitude you emit. Simply put, that would be counterintuitive. The latter would imply that the environment essentially rules your life.

“The last of human freedoms — the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances” — Viktor Frankl

Leave impartiality out the door when building with others

You must treat every person accordingly and never show contempt to anybody. We share a common likeness; we are beautiful humans. You cannot uphold a haughty spirit by feeling superior to others. That same defective nature you see in others is also in you.

What you may excel in may be extremely hard for another. But I am certain of this as well that what may come fluently to another may be a challenge for you.

“No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same” — Viktor Frankl