5 Ways to Find Your Core Self

Our lives changed in March 2020. Our cities mostly shut down and our homes became our workplaces. Our own breath became dangerous to others.

During this time, you’ve been good. You’ve taken the pandemic seriously, stayed at home (except for the occasional Target run), and told yourself you’re keeping everyone safe, your own family, and others you come across.

Of course, you haven’t been busy, not really. Your social life has been diminished to sporadic Zoom calls or Facetime chats with friends, and you stopped going to the gym and restaurants.

It’s been tough. Life feels lackluster — there’s something missing, but it’s not just in life, it’s in you. You feel different; you’re not really yourself.

Some of you might find it difficult to recognize the gift of time that has been given to us during this forced slow down. We have been provided a respite from the expected constant productivity that capitalism demands and the relentless race of everyday life. Although we feel like we’ve lost ourselves, we have the time to find ways to reconnect with our core selves and reconfigure what’s important in our lives.

Alone Time

If it’s possible, find some time to spend by yourself. What is it that you gravitate towards doing or watching or thinking? Where does your mind go? Follow the thoughts that come, and trace their origin. Reflect on the activities you participate in and why those pursuits are important to you.

Reading

Spend time reading! Chugging through a book helps you focus your mind on a new perspective and builds knowledge and connections. Although “self-help” books are often looked down upon, many of them can help you uncover things you value (or don’t) and can help you find new ways of thinking about the struggles or successes in your life.

Individuation

This is a new word I learned recently, as I continue digging into the ways in which my childhood and past have influenced me. Our parents and guardians impact us in ways we don’t always realize; they affect what we find important in our lives. Think about what your parents or guardians told you was important — is that what you still value in life or are there other aspects of life that have become more salient?

Your Ideal Day

Take some time to plan out your ideal day or week — not a vacation, but your actual daily life. What or whom would you include? What or whom would you leave out? What does this plan tell you about what you want out of life and who you are?

Meditation

I know meditation is mentioned in many articles on various topics. It’s something that is crucial for so much of our own self-development and yet, it’s a practice that is tough to build. When digging into who we truly are, calming our mind helps us get to the core — that unmoving center that stays static despite our circumstances. The nucleus of our identity.

This is, of course, not an exhaustive list of ways to identify and get back to who you are. In a world that is constantly changing, where life does not look like what we have deemed “normal”, it is important to reach into the recesses of ourselves and ground our lives in what we hold dear and who we are when no one’s looking.

These 5 starting points are ways to begin exploring how to return to your core. And this year is the time to do it when the world is still somewhat at a standstill and you have space and time to figure yourself out. Then, you’ll have a foundation to build on as the world reopens and we all reimagine what our lives can be.