5 ways to better handle your disappointments
When they come, you’ll be prepared.
If you have ever experienced a major disappointment you probably felt like you were in a tower collapsing in on itself. Sometimes it feels like a sting from a bee, not on the skin but in the heart.
These happenings are not inevitable and from time to time we may experience disappointments of some sort.
A few years back, I got the opportunity to work in a fairly huge company and I was more than pleased to know this. I have a background in engineering and this particular company was a reputable one in my field of engineering so I thought. . .JACKPOT!
After a week of orientation, I was informed that I was not going to join the engineering department. I was put in the sales department.
Real bummer if you ask me.
But I had to be in the role assigned me for a year as I had no other option due to circumstance. To be honest, it’s been one of the biggest disappointments I have ever had to face.
Surprisingly, I managed it quite well. I’m positive that the tips I am about to share can help you too in the face of disappointment.
Things you can do to manage your disappointment:
- Stay calm: I’ll admit that this isn’t an easy thing to do when punched right in the face by something you thought would do so well. But at that point you cannot overreact or allow yourself to be frustrated. This is because quite often than you think, these letdowns are temporary. Your reaction towards it could cost you an opportunity to get out of it.
- Ask questions if applicable: In certain situations where you can ask questions why you were denied an opportunity or why your friend stood you up, go for it. The answers have tendencies to make you feel better should you find out it was not even a “you problem” to begin with. If it’s something you need to work on, at least you now know what it is hence you can make informed decisions moving forward.
- Manage your expectations: You cannot always tell what’s going to work out for you and what isn’t. It’s best to assume almost everything has a 50% chance of working or not. Yes, even if you know for sure that it’s a 99.999% probability of being a success. I’d describe this as building a shield just to protect yourself from the kind of damage that could be done if things don’t go as expected. The more attached you are, the bigger the blow and vice versa.
- Feel: It’s a disappointment so treat it as such. You need to know exactly what you are feeling. Give yourself some time to feel it but not too much. You should not wallow in it forever. You should definitely not try to numb it with whatever is capable of numbing emotions. This is important because it allows your body and mind to register what disappointment feels like for you. Afterwards, you know what it feels like and once you do, you are able to make the necessary, productive effort to get you out of it since it’s a feeling you do not relish.
- Keep learning: As you may have heard before, a disappointment is not the end of the world. In my case, I saw it as an avenue to learn something new. Of course I’m not going to trade what I love and specialize in for something else just because I was redirected. You should not do that either but it becomes an added advantage because you have a wider band of experience. On some occasions however, what you find out after a disappointment could turn out to be the better option. . . who knows. Just keep an open mind when required.
I’m glad you made it to the end of this article. If you found it helpful, do leave a few claps and comment your thoughts. You could also take a look at two other stories of mine:
