Summary

The author reflects on the evolution of their personal faith during the pandemic, emphasizing the need to separate community practices from individual spiritual beliefs and the importance of broadening perspectives on religious practice.

Abstract

The author describes their journey through faith during the pandemic, which began with a strong commitment to their Islamic community but shifted as they grappled with the community's silence on social issues like racial injustice. This disenchantment led to a period of introspection and a reevaluation of the role of rituals and community in their personal faith. The author found solace in prayers and began to see faith as a personal relationship with the divine, independent of community expectations. They also explored other religious traditions and forms of meditation, recognizing the value of service and the shared messages across different faiths. The pandemic has thus prompted a redefinition of their faith, focusing on personal growth, ethical living, and interfaith understanding.

Opinions

The author feels that community leaders were out of touch with current social issues, particularly after the murder of George Floyd, and failed to address systemic racism.
There is a critique of the community's attachment to rituals and physical places of worship, which the author believes can overshadow the core ethical teachings of their faith.
The author believes that faith should be a personal and evolving connection with the divine, rather than a rigid adherence to community-prescribed practices.
They advocate for creating personal meanings for rituals and embracing a more inclusive and mindful approach to religious practice.
The author values service to others as a fundamental expression of faith, suggesting it can be as important as traditional rituals.
They see the benefit in learning from other religious traditions and believe in the power of interfaith dialogue to enrich one's own faith.
The author emphasizes that faith is not a one-size-fits-all experience and that each individual must find their own path to spiritual fulfillment.

5 Ways My Faith Has Changed During the Pandemic

And why we need to broaden our minds around religious practice

People’s faith varies in terms of how it develops throughout life. In my experience, it has been similar to mountains and valleys — at times, strong and supportive and at other times, weak and struggling.

In 2018, I was on a mountain. I was committed to the faith of Islam, I was offering much of my time to serving my faith community, and my faith gave me joy. Despite this strength, I still felt as though much of my community and its leaders lived in a bubble of privilege and security. How we supported other members of the faith was not equally applied to those in our physical communities.

In 2020, when George Floyd was murdered, I yearned for the leadership to make a statement, to help members of the community be a part of the racial awakening and understand their potential roles in systemic racism in the country. Nothing was said or acknowledged.

I began to feel disenchanted with the many councils and institutions that were a part of our community and took a step back to give myself a break.

As time went on, I started falling into a valley. My faith was changing and I was reeling from it. I was angry and bitter and sad, but I knew I still had a connection to the broader messages of the Qur’an and the ethics that I believed were part of the faith.

Through the pandemic, I continued to explore, ask questions, feel feelings and try to figure out how to reconfigure a new sense of what faith is to me.

“In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was ‘Help me.’ Sometimes a prayer was ‘Thank you.’ What I’ve discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away.” — Iyanla Vanzant

Community Vs. Faith

I am still frustrated with some of the community leaders and members, who often seem to be stuck in tradition and unwilling to be open-minded to the ideas and thoughts of young people. Through conversations with others, I was able to begin separating community from faith and recognizing my faith and what it means to me.

The community does not dictate my relationship with God and I am allowed to create that relationship in a way that works for me.

“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.” — Swami Vivekananda

Are rituals faith?

With our places of worship being closed for almost a year, connections with the physical building were lost. We learned how to pray on Zoom or in our own homes.

Rituals are symbols to help us remember our faith, but I began to feel less of a connection to them than I previously had.

I remembered a conversation I had had with a mentor during graduate school — she had mentioned how she creates a personal meaning for rituals. She might send love to a specific person through a specific prayer or find ways to connect with God through other rituals.

Many faithful people rely on crystal clear answers without any gray area. However, faith is as complicated as each individual practicing it — it can’t be a one size fit all method.

What about being a good person?

Last year, I was in a place where I wondered why we even bothered with rites and rituals. The community became so stuck in them, so attached to their faith through them, that sometimes it felt the bigger picture was forgotten.

One tradition of my own that I have kept up, despite these struggles with faith, is reading the Qur’an every year during the holy month of Ramadan. After having read it for 6 years straight, here are the biggest messages that have stuck with me:

Believe in God

Believe in Prophet Muhammad as His messenger

Be a good person

The Qur’an, in God’s words, does not dwell much on rituals and practices. However, it repeats messages and stories that tell us how to be good people over and over again.

Serving the Community

“To me, finding my faith, right now where I’m at, is putting all of my trust in something bigger than myself and living for something bigger than myself and trying to do that through service.” — Noor Tagouri

Service has been an integral part of our community for many years. We have physical volunteers to help prayer services run smoothly, we have people who sit on councils to plan programs and services for various segments of the community, we have religious education teachers and many others.

Service is something I haven’t fully taken a break from, although I have stepped back from programs that I am not passionate about. It is in service that I can connect more with faith — to enhance the English skills of our Syrian brothers and sisters, to support the creation of resources for students with special needs in our community, etc.

Rituals may be important reminders of our faith, but why do we not recognize service as being just as critical to our practice? Why can’t service be the way to express faith rather than a daily prayer?

Connecting to Other Communities

Through this journey, I have begun to read about other religious traditions and other communities. Learning about various ways to meditate and be mindful has been a critical way for me to reflect on my faith and begin to climb out of this valley. The breathwork involved in Yoga and learning about the Yamas and Niyamas of the tradition have also helped me find connections in other ways. I wonder how beautiful it would be if we were able to come together from different communities and shared the wonderful messages of our faiths to inspire each other.

I am sure that many more peaks and valleys will come through the rest of my life. This valley will always be special, though. It has sent me on a journey to rediscover what God and faith mean to me, how I can be a good Muslim in my own life and how I can express my beliefs in new ways.

If you are part of a religious community, it’s wonderful to have people and support. But, sometimes, it’s important to reflect on individual faith as well. We all have our own connections and no one connection is better than another.

“Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual. Yet there is a depth in those brief moments which constrains us to ascribe more reality to them than to all other experiences.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson