5 Unquestionable Reasons Dads Have It Better Than Moms

Why I’d rather be a dad than a mom

If you could choose, would you rather be a dad or a mom?

I don’t want to be either. But I know where my preference lies. Some things are a no-brainer. I would be an outstanding dad. I may even win dad of the year.

Men and women choose contrasting ways to celebrate pregnancy and birth.

Would you rather, get together with a shrieking gaggle of ladies and eat chocolate out of a diaper. Or, would you prefer to chill in the pub with friends? If you choose the first option, I can’t help you, and there is no hope.

This in itself is a deciding factor for me.

Baby Shower vs Head Wetting

What is with baby showers? If you aren’t familiar with the concept read on. These consist of a coven of women who throw a party to celebrate an expecting mom. Guests must bring lavish gifts (and must also provide lavish gifts after the baby is born).

This pack of ladies garbles about baby stuff. They excitedly predict the gender of the baby, the date of birth, and the weight. They play random games, which might involve eating baby food or something simulating a dirty diaper.

I know what you are thinking “what fun!”

I have attended several of these mind-numbing events. I swear never to put myself in this position again. They are overbearing. Those are the hours of my life I will never get back. They robbed me.

But a “head wetting”. Yes, this is my jam. When the baby is born the men disappear. They wander down to the bar and have a drink or two to “wet the baby’s head”. Despite the fact, the baby isn’t present and is stuck at home with the exhausted mom.

The conversation at a head wetting is not consumed with baby talk. It is a gathering of friends chilling out together.

The way men and women celebrate the arrival of their children is a predictor for their future.

Yes, dads definitely have it better and remarkably easier than moms. Here are 5 reasons which prove this.

Reason 1 — Pregnancy

Ugh, the idea of pregnancy gives me palpitations. Men have it so easy. The poor females have to endure 9 months of extreme body changes. First, they bravely contend with the risk of unpronounceable side effects. Then they face the possibility of death during childbirth.

At the very least the female’s body will rip in places men can’t even fathom.

But it doesn’t stop after the child is born. Many women endure a lifetime of gynecological issues. They also experience other physical and mental health difficulties.

So let me ask you. Men, if you were the ones going through pregnancy, would you yearn for this torture to be a father? Or would you suddenly decide you don’t want children?

Reason 2 — Mom’s Life Overhauls, Dad’s Life Barely Ripples

Moms spend 9 months squashed in a spinning washing machine. They are then processed in a blender. A mom is already physically and mentally traumatized when she is first handed her baby.

A dad looks on and marvels at the “simplicity” of nature.

A mom’s world turns on its head. Her old purpose and habits vanish and her daily routine is unrecognizable. Her life becomes alien. Her identity in question. Hormones are raging and sleep is elusive.

But our dads, well, they continue going to work as normal. They play golf on a Saturday and still play their cards on a Thursday. A spontaneous cheeky little beer after work isn’t so harmful either, is it?

It seems babies are easy. Dads don’t understand what all the fuss is about. When they return home each day, from living life, they may find a distraught partner. But it’s just the hormones, right? Nothing a bit of patronizing pacifying can’t resolve.

Life barely changes for dads. In fact, they get to escape the carnage. Their work becomes their haven. Lucky sods.

So let me ask you. Men, if your whole life were to overhaul, would you still want to be a father? Or would you suddenly decide you don’t want children?

Reason 3 — Friendships

A mom’s circle of friends completely changes when her sidekick baby comes along. The girls at “baby yoga” become her confidentes. The ladies at “baby sensory” morph into her emotional dumping ground. The women at “baby painting” are her new source of humor.

Dads continue with their “my life is normal and unchanged” groups. Their own hobbies remain, their friendships unfettered.

Remarkably to moms, dads can still spend time with their friends without their baby. And, they even get to have conversations about things other than their baby! They are not seen as “just” a dad.

Whereas moms, always have their little leech by their side. No more wine dates, lengthy brunches, or girlie spa days. And if by any minuscule chance their baby is not with them (thanks to grandparents for looking after them). You can guarantee the conversation is baby-centric.

So let me ask you. Men, if you lost some of your old friends and social life, would you still want to be a father? Or would you suddenly decide you don’t want children?

Reason 4 — Dad of the Year Award

Let’s be honest, any man can win dad of the year. All you do is “babysit” your own child for a few hours, preferably in a public space, and bingo, the award is yours.

You can also stash up this “favor” and use it for point scoring in the future. Any time you are ever asked to change a diaper, flash your “I took baby Johnny to the park this one-time” card. Simple.

Whereas there is scorn and shame if a mom so much as dares to dream, of spending one night away from her bambino. She is clearly an unfit parent. How incomprehensible of her to hanker for a life outside of her child.

So let me ask you. Men, if you had to do all the childraising tasks your partner does, would you be willing to make these sacrifices? Or would you suddenly decide you don’t want children?

Reason 5 — Other Moms

Moms are ghastly to each other. Moms judge, compare, know best, belittle and undermine. And these are the ones they consider friends!

There are a gazillion Mumsnet types of websites and social media accounts. How many are helpful?

Since when did being a mom come with a seat on a giraffe-sized horse?

Moms need emotional support and encouragement. Empathy and understanding. Not a lecture on how to raise their baby by someone who doesn’t know their little one. Other moms always think they know best.

The pressure to be a perfect mum and to raise the next child genius is insane. The expectations to “have it all” are excruciating and debilitating.

Dads muddle along. They are blissfully unaware of the unspoken language of this crazy “mom world”. It’s a mom thing, right?

Besides, let’s be honest, when dads talk with each other, most of the time it’s about football. They may not even know they are both dads. Let alone offer unsolicited advice and quiet, or not-so-quiet judgment.

So let me ask you. Men, if other dads treated you like some moms treat your partner, would you put yourself in the firing line? Or would you suddenly decide you don’t want children?

Take Away

It’s very simple, moms endure the lion’s share of childrearing. The impact of having children has a profound effect on a female. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging being a mom.

Dad’s escape this experience unscathed.

Moms — I respect and admire you. But your role, even if you think it is the best role in the world, is not for me.

If I can’t be a dad, then I’m not playing this game and you can’t make me.