5 Types of Goals Never Achieved
They might not be yours, and more..
Year after year, we enthusiastically set goals and resolutions with all the good intentions of the world. Back to the dawn of the New Year, some might promised themselves new milestones and horizons.. only to realize weeks and months later that little or nothing has be done to catch them despite their profound desire. Clearly, intention and confidence are fundamental but not enough. What is missing ?
Shall we question the goals themselves! No matter how firmly you want them to become reality, they can subtly fly away, out of reach, leaving you in doubts.. Here are the most common mistakes while formulating goals :
They are not affirmative
Instead of stating where /what you want to be, you focus on the current unsatisfactory situation to escape. An epic example would be : “ I won’t smoke anymore”.
The truth is, our commanding subconscious does not process negative statements the same way it does with affirmative ones. At least, it depends on the structure of your phrase, i.e. Resolution, as per this study published by the Association for Psychological Science.
Remember, your goal by essence is meant to express clearly the change you cherish. Why not replacing the negative words by those which you want to embrace ?
They can not be assessed
How do you know once you will achieve it ? More importantly, how can you check your little wins and failures when the goal is vague and intangible ? Remember, “If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it.” (Peter Drucker).
They are not specific
“I will work harder”. Great, but when and where ? It is important to contextualize your goal, in return you will :
- Give it even more meaning and power, after you adapt it to the most appropriate situations and environments,
- Save areas of your life that might be affected by that same goal. For instance, working harder after.. work can be unwelcomed by family, friends and the joyful & creative person you are. You won’t let that meaningful goal mess up with your life and result in frustration.
They are not.. yours!
Yes, you may need the help of key persons in the pursuit of your goal, but you and only you will take action to make it happen! Now that you can turn any of your resolutions into affirmative goals, you must be at ease to polish them a little bit more, in order to underline your own responsibility.
- “I want her/him to change that behavior, it freaks me out!”. — Well, until it will happen, good luck!
- “I want to [action] to keep cool and calm dealing with that behavior.” Yes, you can!
You don’t want them to happen…
And you don’t admit it! This is the most unlikely trait of unreachable goals. As paradoxical as it may sound, not taking action towards a well-defined goal can be moved by advantages you have been used to. Comfort zones are legend.
These hidden restraints can be also triggered by fears, themselves shaped by deep beliefs to unearth and to question.
One of my coachees discovered that delaying her entrepreneur’s adventure made her feeling safe with her finances and couple. This is neither true nor false. It was a subjective reality which we need to be aware of, to improve our chances reaching our goal. Otherwise, this latter can still be readjusted, enhanced, and reached.