avatarNiharikaa Kaur Sodhi

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of detaching from online metrics to maintain mental health and focus on the creative process.

Abstract

The author, reflecting on personal experiences, advises creators to prioritize their well-being by not fixating on online statistics such as likes, follows, and virality. The piece argues that these numbers can be misleading and harmful, leading to a cycle of disappointment and overthinking. Instead, the author suggests focusing on the process of creation and personal growth, as these are the only aspects within one's control. The article concludes with a call to choose personal happiness and health over the fleeting validation provided by online engagement metrics.

Opinions

  • The author believes that obsessing over social media metrics can be detrimental to one's mental health.
  • Virality is not a reliable indicator of sustained success or personal fulfillment.
  • The creative process and continuous improvement should be the primary focus, not the outcome.
  • The author stresses that happiness should be cultivated as a state of mind rather than being tied to external validation.
  • The article suggests that the choice to be unaffected by online metrics is crucial for a healthier and happier life.
  • The author encourages readers to subscribe to their newsletter and support their work for continued inspiration and guidance on personal growth and well-being.

5 Truths to Help You Break up And Save Yourself

Numbers online can easily ruin your mental health, don’t let them.

Photo by Myriam Jessier on Unsplash

When I was an Instagram influencer, there were enough metrics that hurt me right in my heart. I put half a decade creating my (now deleted) account, yet so many people who rose more than me in lesser time felt unfair. Plus, tracking likes and follows was poisonous.

More on this later.

In my first month of writing online, I got eight views. I was so elated because eight random people on the internet wanted to read my articles! I refreshed my stats when I woke up, then multiple times a day, and also right before I slept.

Funnily, when I started putting in the work and writing more, I slowly got detached from numbers. I realised that the stats will only move if I move, so I’ll try my best at what I do and keep learning, and leave the rest to the universe.

Today, I see many creators influenced by numbers — stats, likes, follows, money. And rightly so, because how can you not? The temptation is real. I’ve been at this place and I can tell you this can single-handedly ruin your mental heath.

Consider a few truths so you can detach from the outcome, because attaching and worrying won’t do you any good.

1. You’ve Probably Heard This Before

When I was in Business school, there was one guy who rigourously applied for jobs.

Knowing the situation of the U.K. back then in 2017, as international students, most of us knew getting a job is unlikely. We applied, but this guy went nuts and applied for hundreds.

I asked him why did he do this because it isn’t practical. Moreover, how did he not lose the motivation to keep applying?

He told me,

I want to do everything in my capacity. If I still don’t get a job, I can blame the circumstances. But I don’t want to look back tomorrow and think I could’ve done more.

Only the process is in your control, the outcome isn’t. Focus on the process and keep improving, the outcome will follow.

2. My Personal Experience With Virality

I’ve had several viral hits over the years, first on Quora then on Medium and LinkedIn. If I can tell you just one lesson, it's that it doesn’t matter.

The internet is a huge place and sudden virality may not be your big break. It will make you confident and make you feel good about yourself, but don’t forget to keep your feet on the ground.

Like one simple piece can reach millions of eyes in seconds, it can die down just as quickly.

Sadly, many people actually want to get viral and chase virality. I promise that it won’t be an ultimate destination that makes you happy, try to make happiness a state of mind instead of attaching it to outcomes.

3. A Quick Way to Ruin Your Mental Health

During my influencer days, I had a business account. Here are some analytics I could see in real-time:

  • the trend of follows and unfollows
  • how many people shared my picture in DMs
  • impressions
  • demographics of my audience

The first two devastated me.

I’d see hundreds of people unfollow me every week. I tried to create more, then I tried to create less, just to see what strategy works.

But still, hundreds kept unfollowing — it made me feel terrible about myself. I just felt I was not good enough.

The second part was worse. Many times, I’d upload a selfie on my story or as a post and 50 people would share it as DMs. I’d think, what are they sharing? Are they making fun of me? So much overthinking over superficial stuff.

It was a full-proof recipe to destroy my mental health.

4. It Doesn’t Predict the Next Big Number

So you had a viral post. Now what? Are you famous? Will clients run after you? What's next?

Three months ago, I earned the most money I ever had in my life. Dream income, literally, all through online sources. After that, I’ve been earning 1/3 of that.

Your virality doesn’t predict your next big break. I’ve had 5000–10000 views on my LinkedIn post right after getting 3 million views on the post before that. If it doesn’t predict success, why get attached and set yourself up for disappointment?

Please, take care of yourself.

5. It’s a Choice

It’s easy to click the stats button, to get a dopamine rush when the graph shows an upward trend — but it’s a choice to do this. And a wiser choice would be to be unaffected by it.

Because if it can make you feel so good, it can also make you feel terrible!

At least in the online world, there will always be a million better than you. You will always see somebody rise faster than you, be more famous, get more love. But leave their success to them, you focus on your own process.

Choose a simple and sustainable strategy to mind your own business and don’t get too serious about life – it’ll make your overall journey happier.

Conclusion

Breaking up with numbers will help you live with more fulfilment. It’s sad how contentment has become so rare, whereas it comes so naturally to us if we stop getting these outside nuances that ruin it.

Here are five truths that can help you break up with numbers:

  1. You don’t have control over numbers
  2. Virality dies sooner than you think
  3. Numbers are a short-cut to ruining your mental health
  4. Hitting a big number doesn’t predict the next big number
  5. It’s a choice to be in love with numbers or not, choose wisely.

Choose yourself, choose happiness, and choose health — because life is too short to worry so much about numbers on the screen.

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