5 Traits of Toxic People & How To Effectively Avoid/Deal With Them
Toxic people are just not worth your time so don’t waste your time on them.
In this fast-moving world where everyone is trying to craft a perfect life for themselves, it makes sense that you have probably met a person that…
- Tries to gain an unfair advantage over others
- Acts like a dictator to twist people into their line of thinking
- Tries to bring you down to make themselves appear superior
- Doesn’t care whatsoever about your personal feelings
- Avoids taking responsibility for mistakes and shifts blame to other people
All 5 fingers on our hand are not the same length which makes each finger unique. As such, every person on this planet has his/her own unique personality which helps or allows that person to navigate that world based on his/her mode of thinking, actions, and behaviors.
There are some people that are so kind hearted that they mostly give and not take.
There are some people that are so rude that no matter how much you try to please them, they will always slap you in the face.
There are some people out there breaking all laws and codes of ethics just to satisfy themselves and break everyone else.
Of course, we also have toxic people whose traits I cunningly described at the beginning of this article.
Toxic people try to gain an unfair advantage over others (Manipulation).
Toxic people feel like this world was made only for themselves to inhabit and explore. As such, they feel that everything that occurs has to personally please, benefit, reward, etc. themselves.
These people don’t like to lose and if they see themselves in a situation where they will most likely lose, these people try to gain an unfair advantage by using deceptive tactics, manipulation, cheating, etc.
These people will do anything to get their way and by bending the truth, exaggerating, or purposefully putting gaps in the information you receive, these people will somehow convince you to take a certain action or approve of an opinion that you have about them.
How to deal with them:
Try hard to avoid playing into their cheap little “mind game”. When that person tries to bend reality by lying or exaggerating, tell the person the actual truth and give rock solid evidence to prove your point.
Don’t be afraid to disagree or differ. Tell him/her the actual facts and stop the toxic person on his/her tracks if he/she starts to sway away from the current situation.
If you politely disagree or simply say “No”, that toxic person will understand that you are fully in control and aware of the current situation and facts and that you are not a good person to mess with.
Toxic people act like a dictator to twist people into their line of thinking (Manipulation).
Toxic people hate being ruled so what they do is rule other people. These people have their own ways to follow and don’t want other people infringing on their paths so they rule them like no tomorrow.
Toxic people know they can’t get anywhere without help from other people and so these people twist other people into their line of thinking to get them to do the stuff that will eventually push them forward.
These people suddenly start assuming the role of a dictator and therefore give demands and commands to get other people to bow down in front of them. These people love to be in charge and even when toxic people know that what they are doing is wrong, they still go down that path even if it means taking other people along with them.
How to deal with them:
Always know what is “right” and “wrong”. Don’t mix up these two words just because you have a toxic person if front of you trying to deceive you. You were brought up in this world with the knowledge of knowing what is right and wrong and what is good and evil.
Make yourself unavailable to the point where toxic people will notice straight away that this person won’t fall under my trap or my manipulation techniques.
If the toxic person tries to approach you, simply say, “Sorry, I am too busy right now” and leave.
If you can’t do that, then just simply listen to what he/she has to say and reply, “Ok. I will think about it later.” Once you start showing that you are simply not interested about what the other person has to say, then that person will also lose interest in you and stop bothering you.
Toxic people try to bring you down to make themselves appear superior.
Toxic people make themselves appear better and are able to think highly of themselves by bringing people down.
These people try to embarrass and humiliate other people to make them inferior and feel bad about themselves.
Nobody likes toxic people and toxic people themselves know that and so to get other people to have an appreciation of them, these people do stuff that elevates them to higher and higher positions until they are superior and whatever they say, other people will do.
These people don’t just attain superiority status by working hard. Toxic people essentially live to make other people’s lives horrible and miserable and in this process, these people feel better about themselves.
How to deal with them:
If a toxic person tries to make you feel bad about yourself, tell him/her how you feel. Yes, tell the toxic person exactly how he/she made you feel. If the toxic person replies that he/she doesn’t care or that you deserved it, just say “OK” and leave.
There is no point in trying to tell a toxic person how rude or inconsiderate he/she is. They are toxic for a reason and one of the most effective ways to handle these people are to avoid them. If you have had a bad encounter with a toxic person, chances are high that you will have another bad encounter so to avoid the future encounter, just avoid them.
If they try to strike up a conversation after they made you feel bad about yourself, simply say, “Some of my core values in life are trust, loyalty, and kindness and I expect these values from my close friends. So if you can’t uphold these values, we can’t talk or have a friendship anymore.”
Toxic people don’t care whatsoever about your personal feelings.
Toxic people are toxic for a reason. They don’t play by the rules. These people try to act like a boss to get other people to do what they want. Because of this manipulative, deceptive, and bossy behavior, other people soon take notice and confront these toxic people.
Oftentimes, the victims of these toxic people tell them that what they are doing is wrong and these toxic people seem to ignore them as if they don’t even exist. These people often go to extreme lengths by ignoring other people’s feelings.
These people act like everyone around them are like robots who have absolutely no feelings. Because of this perception, toxic people “feel” free to manipulate other people without having a regard for how other people might feel.
In fact, toxic people have the audacity to say “I don’t care” when confronted by their victims who tell them how they made them feel.
How to deal with them:
There is no point, benefit, or advantage in striking up a conversation or having a friendship with toxic people. These people will always try to bring you down and in this process, they won’t give a crap about how they made you feel.
I mean why would toxic people have any consideration for how you feel. These people are playing their own game and in this game, the only outcome is that they always win.
If you know a toxic person that has no consideration for your feelings, then the best way is to avoid that person. If there is no way you can avoid the person like if he/she works with you, then the best way is to show that you are not interested.
If a toxic person wants to deceive or manipulate you, an effective way is to simply ignore or not show any interest. Once they see that you don’t like them or are not interested, either they will try to improve themselves so they can manipulate you better or will 95% of the time stop bothering you.
Toxic people avoid taking responsibility for mistakes and shift blame to other people.
Nobody likes to take responsibility for a bad thing and this especially includes toxic people. Toxic people are simply toxic. They try to shift the blame away from themselves and onto other people so it seems like toxic people are somehow superior in every way and everyone around them are inferior.
I mean why would toxic people take responsibility for something that would insult them or bring them down a level. Toxic people always want to be right and when they are not right, they shift blame to other people so the other person gets thrown in a bad light.
Toxic people don’t care how good or close of a friend you are. When a situation arises that puts the blame on the toxic person, he/she will quickly forget any relationships, will solely be focused on himself/herself, and shift blame to others. These people only care about themselves.
How to deal with them:
If a toxic person starts blaming you for something that you did not do, don’t be afraid to tell the actual truth. Just explain the whole situation and the brutal facts and the toxic person will have no choice but to accept responsibility.
Afterwards, if the toxic person confronts you and blames you for not taking the blame, tell him/her that “I am a person that sticks to honesty and loyalty and if you can’t do that and want to spread blame to other people, then I am afraid that we can’t continue our friendship / relationship.”
Also try to explain to the toxic person that spreading blame and lies about other people is totally wrong and that he/she should stop doing it. But because 95% of toxic people stay toxic for a long time, he/she most likely won’t listen to you but it doesn’t hurt to try.
Takeaways
This world is made up of good and bad people. There are people out there that try to promote love, kindness, honesty, loyalty, etc.
Then there are other people who have poison steaming from themselves. These people love to spread hate, love to bring people down, love to shift blame, love to always unfairly win, etc.
It’s called being toxic and it’s a culture that I think a lot of people have experienced or met before. The majority of people have toxic friends and the funny thing is that the more you want to run away from these toxic people, the closer they get.
Rule # 1 is to identify toxic people and to see how toxic that person really is. Rule # 2 is to effectively handle these toxic people because at the end of the day, nobody should decide how you want to run your life.
If you have a person that is causing you conflict or hurt or pain such as toxic people, take effective steps to reduce the amount of interference that person has in your life.