5 Toxic Things Narcissists Say About Their Ex
I am going to explore the complex world of narcissism, decoding the subtle yet toxic things individuals with narcissistic tendencies often say about their ex-partners. Understanding these patterns can be a crucial step in recognizing and navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals.
Have you ever heard someone say, They are crazy and obsessed with me? They just can’t let go. What do you think they mean? Those who are narcissistic and psychopathic can twist and misuse phrases to gaslight and mess with someone’s psyche.
They often paint their ex-partners in a messed-up light to control new people in their lives and even use those new people to hurt their exes again. Depending on their plan, they might make their ex seem worthless or perfect when talking to you about them.
Look at these five toxic things they might say on the surface about their past partners, but it means different things entirely.
Let’s delve into the psyche of a narcissist.
They are crazy and obsessed with you. They can’t just let you go. Narcissists have an uncanny knack for twisting reality to suit their narrative, often painting themselves as the irresistible center of attention.
So a narcissistic person says their ex is obsessed with them. They’re likely spinning a tail to boost their ego. They repeatedly tried to break up with you, and when they finally did, you could call them crazy to others so no one would believe what they said about you.
At first, they might not have been that into you, but you showered them with attention and affection to get them hooked. After that, they started treating you poorly in subtle ways, pushing your limits until they got the reactions they wanted. They manipulated you, intentionally tried to make you jealous, and kept you working for their approval.
If you try to warn them about their manipulation, They’ll say you’re obsessed with them and not trustworthy. Now, casting their ex as obsessed, unable to move on, all to make themselves appear more desirable. It’s a classic narcissistic move.
The reality is far from what they’re portraying. Contrary to what they say, they might just be basking in the idea of being irresistible.
What about when they say she or he was so insecure and controlling? What’s behind these words? Well, let’s dive into the depths of this claim. You see, narcissists have a knack for projecting. They toss their insecurities onto others like confetti at a parade. Imagine a mirror. The narcissist standing before it sees not their reflection, but the image of their ex-partner.
They see the securities that are truly theirs but perceive them as belonging to the person in the mirror. In translation, it means they used to be possessive and jealous in their past relationship. They would constantly check on their partner and make sure they were completely focused on them and them only.
Later, they intentionally started playing dirty mind games, making their partner feel uneasy and suspicious by withholding emotions and provoking jealousy. They manipulated their partner into thinking their concerns were unfounded even when they were valid.
They would get angry and argue, making their partner believe they were the issue whenever they questioned their questionable behavior.
This way, they could do whatever they wanted without taking responsibility for their actions. It’s a neat little trick to deflect responsibility.
But don’t be fooled by this misdirection. Take a closer look. The insecure and controlling ex is just a mirror reflecting their insecurities.
They cheated on you and betrayed you. In the labyrinth of a narcissistic person’s mind, blame is a one-way street, pointing away from them and toward others. Narcissists have a knack for accusing others of the very actions they are guilty of.
It’s a form of psychological projection, a defense mechanism to avoid facing their missteps. This means they messed up a lot in their past relationship, being dishonest and hurtful.
Now, they will tell you a story where they make themselves the victims even though they were the ones causing problems. They might not have been a great partner, making their ex feel insecure and mistreating them after acting all lovingly. Even if their ex didn’t cheat, you wouldn’t be surprised if they sought support elsewhere because of how they treated them.
Now, they will set the double standard they expect of all their partners for you by disclosing this fake story of being betrayed. You will strive to be super loyal to them while they reserve the right to do whatever they please. It’s a cunning strategy. By accusing their ex of betrayal, they shift the blame, maintain their image of innocence, and play the victim card, all while obscuring their infidelity.
When they talk about betrayal, they are revealing their guilt.
We’re just friends. It’s an art of manipulation that narcissists often master. The seemingly innocent just friends' claims are a cunning way to maintain control and keep their exes in their sphere of influence.
This means they keep an eye on their ex and act happy for them, making it seem like we’re just friends. They pretend to support their new relationship and thriving life. But the truth is, they’re using their ex to make you jealous and using you to make their exes jealous.
They also keep tabs on their ex-partners to ensure they don’t find too much happiness. When you become an ex, they’ll show up occasionally to bring back painful memories because they don’t want anyone to move on truly, and they don’t move on either.
This isn’t about a genuine friendship or selfless concern for the ex’s well-being. It’s a strategic move to keep the ex close just in case they need them. It’s a power play, a game of chess where the narcissist is always three moves ahead.
The just friends claim is a facade, a smoke screen to keep the ex close, so they keep manipulating them. When they say just friends, what they really mean is just under their control.
A narcissistic person says they’re broken because of an ex. It’s the heartrending wail of the never-quite-healed wound, the echo of a love that supposedly cut too deep. It’s designed to elicit sympathy, to draw you in.
They might not be as shattered as they claim. Broken here is often an overplayed hand, a manipulative tactic. It’s a way to focus on them and keep them in the spotlight.
It means they can’t do healthy love or empathy. But when they idealize their past partners, they act like they are crazy about them, even though they mistreated them. This makes you feel like you have to compete for their affection. Honestly, they never treated any of their partners well in the long run.
They can’t forget the ones who gave them a taste of their own medicine or those who walked away for good, especially the ones who dumped them first. They are obsessed with them and wish they could have them back just to punish them for leaving first.
They use their past relationship not as a genuine source of pain, but as a tool to manipulate the emotions of others. When they sound heartbroken, they are just playing the victim for attention.
Deciphering the language of Narcism is a crucial skill in safeguarding one’s emotional well-being.
I have tried to unveil five toxic statements that narcissistic individuals often make about their ex-partners. Recognizing these patterns helps you to understand relationships with greater awareness and resilience.
Thanks for reading.
Share your experience with narcissistic people, you encountered in your life in comments. Highlight the lines you have also noticed or experienced before.